Gambling is killing me

Years ago I would go to the casino or horse races and lose 20 or 30 dollars and go home. I have been a slot player for over 10 years. I started playing quarter machines and now play the much higher denominations. I have won tremendous amounts of money and every single time I have lost it all. I have given the casino my money and have lost out on so many things in my life. I have missed time with my wife, kids and really things I used to like to do. I could have 2 brand new Corvettes in the driveway. I spend my life now trying to figure how to survive financially. I have become a miserable person, I dread waking up to another day of debating whether to go, going and losing. I often wondered what problems in my life brought me there. It doesn't matter what the problems were. Gambling is my problem. I probably can't recover financially and at this point it really doesn't matter. Gambling stole a large part of my life. It is time to reclaim my life. It is time to spend time with what life is supposed to be. Not sitting there in a trance like a zombie. I either choose to pick life or pick the slow death of a casino. I have gone to GA and counseling for over 2 years and gambled the entire time.

Hi End of Rope,

I know what you're saying. I thought I was a lost cause too. No chance. Everything stinks and I just CAN'T stop. I'd say 'never again' and then I'd gamble it all away again.

It's spirit breaking. But guess what? I successfully quit. 1 Year, 3 months. I don't state that to brag, but to show you it CAN BE DONE.

It isn't easy. But it's nowhere near as hard as you think. Learn about recovery from other ex-gamblers. The internet is loaded with ideas and stories of what worked for them. Not all will work for everyone, but there will be enough ideas out there that can work for you.

This place is a great start, and your posting here shows that you still believe down deep you can do it.

Well, take it from someone who HAS done it, you absolutely can. I'm just an average Joe who thought it was hopeless and had failed many times. The great news is you only have to succeed once. And you can. You will.

Believe in yourself and get educated on what you need to succeed.

I'll be rooting for you! All the best.

I appreciate your comment. The hardest part I guess is that I am so frustrated with myself, it makes it hard to reverse course.

I too am a compulsive gambler. An addict in the worst sense of the word.

I am in finacial ruin as well. Keep chasing. Thinking it's going to turn around. Keep thinking I am smarter than chance. today is my lucky day.

Poker, blackjack, sports bets, scratchers, slots, video poker, horses, and on and on. I have gambled on it all.

I can't remember winning. Only that feeling of being sick after I have lost another huge chuck of my bank account. Credit card debt up to my eye balls.

Lost years of time to gambling. Thought about suicide. Worst thing is, I have known I have had a problem for years.

I don't know why I do it or why I haven't been able to stop. even with GA and therapy.

Tonight, after losing another chunk of cash I started prepping for tomorrows bets. Then I realized....

It just needs to stop. Right now. No more for me. I clicked off the gambling site I was on and started searching for help. After a few hours I found your post.

It spoke to me. I had to reply. Let you know that there is someone else out there struggling. Ready to make the choice. move forward.

I say this to you. I'm letting go of the money. It's gone. It's not coming back.If I were to win it back it would just push me to gamble more. Thinking I'm going to win more. I'm not. This only ends one way for me. Losing more of my life to gambling.

The money will fix itself if I stop. It's not going to happen overnight, but if I put the kind of energy into making money that I did into gambling it then it will slowly turn around. Might just get a second job to keep me away from the casino.

Second, I'm going to ask a good friend to help me. Just to be someone I can call when I fell myself wanting to gamble. talk me off the cliff.

Third, I need to focus my life on something positive. Working out, writing, biking, cooking, etc. As long as it isn't gambling. That's all that matters.

Last, I'm going to start coming on here every night. Reading other peoples posts. Writing my own. Help keep me focused on my goal.

I hope this helps. I apologize about the length of the post. I feel your pain. Wish you the best.

These are great an inspiring stories. You can change your life. I have and you can.

You will never get the money back, it is gone forever. Consider it tuition for your final degree in life, the one that propels you into a great and proserous future.

When you have the urge to gamble, tell yourself over and over that you love yourself. I know this sounds really strange, but just do it. I do this, and then I tell myself of all the things I am thankful for. And then I tell myself of the people in my life that I will hurt if I gamble again.

Then do something different, call a parent or friend, work out, sing a song, anything that will change your brain patterns when the urge comes. It works!

There is nothing I do as ridiculous as gambling. I caught up a little bit and in 2 days I lost it all. I literally cannot explain why I do it. I tell myself everyday that life like this isn't worth living. I have been at the end many times. There is nothing I hate as much as gambling and I do it all the time.

OP you lost the equivalent of 2 new corvettes?

And you think gambling is killing you?

Look on the bright side...



This person smokes pounds of crack, has probably had her children torn away from her, might live in a box some nights, and sucks people off for a living.

She's probably happier than you.

I either choose to pick life or pick the slow death of a casino. I have gone to GA and counseling for over 2 years and gambled the entire time.

OP, if I were you, yes, I'd probably go to the doctors and tell my problem had more to do with suicidal ideation, rather than gambling.

Casinos are everywhere, and people gamble. Fact of life.

Are you on any medications?

I tell myself everyday that life like this isn't worth living.

I don't know you, but you sound like a suicide case waiting to happen.

Life is actually very very good, even when crack cocaine dominates peoples lives, they persevere. I think you are depressed and after years of gambling, the heavy losses are hitting a mature person harder...

So... yeah... learn to live with less, or stop thinking rock bottom is not worth living...

Wish I had something different for you... but that's all...

I honestly think gambling is worse than drugs!!!! I know it has cost me more! I could have bought a new vehicle or two for the money I have lost the past few months! I was doing well myself and had a relapse. Living in NV is going to be the downfall of me and I swore I wouldn't go to GA and I read that it isn't working for people, but I am literally at "the end of my rope" as well! It can't hurt to try so I'm off to my first meeting tomorrow with my head hung in shame I can't believe as strong of a person as I am that I can't beat this on my own and I have been an idiot too trying to chase losses to dig myself out of debt. I like some of the things I've read about considering the debt tuition for you final degree in life - that's funny! My husband has been "babysitting" me to make sure I don't go to the casinos and the first thing I did when he went out of town was take cash out on the credit card and go gamble to see if I could win money to pay off credit cards! Now I'm just miserable and depressed and have a week of feeling like this! I hate myself for doing this $#%^!

Thanks for your post, tbone3443. It was very inspiring, especially the ways to avoid gambling. If we can think of those who love us, that helps.

Gambling addiction is worse than drugs or alcohol in my opinion. The slots and pokies are the most addictive of all and can truly cause the most harm.

I think G.A can help, as well as individual and group counseling. It is a tough battle, but do not ever give up. If you relapse, just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and continue on your journey.

I think with slots addiction it is hard to moderate, as I have tried. It just does such a number on our brain chemicals.