Stock/Option "trading", I mean, gambling

I suppose I am a success story. I am still an addict (I don’t know if it ever goes away completely) and had a horrible horrible problem for 20 years, but I am proud to say that I have not traded stocks, options or anything, or gambled online since April 2013, and really have not even had the need to come back to this site as my terrible addiction has faded. It is funny to note that if I had been trading stocks or options since last year, Im sure I would continued over and over again to pick the top of the market by buying put options, and as anyone knows who watches the markets (which have gone straight up since last year) that I would have been wiped out, and I don’t know what kind of person I would be right now, if even alive.

I want to tell you that I am no different than anyone else here, and you can turn your life around too. I was looking into the abyss because of my stock market and online gambling problem, and now only a year later, I am feeling better about my life than I ever have as an adult, am making more money than ever, and saving more money than ever. I would be happy to discuss how I did this with anyone who cares to listen.

Way to go Tbone!!! Thanks for giving people hope with your success story.

Hey Guys,
I'm so glad to know that I'm not the only one experiencing the same feelings as everyone on this forum. I've never talked about my problem to a single person...so today I give you my full story and a question for everyone in the end.

I have a good degree and an awesome job in silicon valley. Except every single dollar of what I have made in the last 7 years (and more) has gone into my options trading account. Ive always loved going to Casino's and playing blackjack and poker - and i've had my string of casino losses (occasional wins) so I guess gambling was in my DNA.

I started trading Options in 2008 and literally $10k was gone in the first 1 month of trading. Since that day, every single year I have lost money...a total of about $400k. It has been an extremely painful ride but I've had phases of success where I felt like the kind of the world. I remember days when I lost $30k in a single day and I came home and lied on the floor and cried like a baby for an hour. I remember hating everyone in my life because I cannot figure out my trading. Since the day I started trading, it has taken over my life. I spend hours every day in the evening analyzing markets and then hours during the day staring at the ticker. As someone mentioned, for me it was all about playing 'catch up' since the beginning. I am surrounded by very successful friends so part of it was to get to where they are, but most of all the cost of all the opportunities I lost along the way (I planned to buy a bigger house that would have been an incredible investment) - I have lost out on getting promoted at work which would have worked out extremely well for me. Basically I put my life into trading and it didnt work out for me - and it's left a big hole of disappointment in my life.

Ok obviously I have an addiction problem that I dont know how to fix. But my problem is that I am not prepared to quit. I dont even think that stopping to do this is the right solution for me. Let me explain. Just like most of you, I have learned a great deal of how the markets work...and funny thing is that I have established many successful strategies that work great. I dont day trade, I swing trade. I have had decent success when I'm disciplined to follow my strategies. My problem is, that either i'll have an excellent month...and then I'll revert back to gambling and doing things that I know are foolish and will make me lose. Deep down, I believe I know how to make money in the markets...but my gambling tendencies keep me from doing them. I teach new students on how to make money - I do just fine when it's a paper account - but when it comes to my real account I lose control.

I've tried to dissect my problem, and I feel that my urge to 'catch up' is so strong that it prevents me from doing it correctly. To put it in perspective, my trading account is $40k and if i trade according to my strategies I will make or lose a relatively small amount of money. The problem is that little money is nothing compared to what I have lost over the years, so it keeps me from doing it right.

Every single person on this blog talked about completely closing out their accounts and never doing it again as the fix - my question was is that the only way to fix this? Is there a way to subside or kill your gambling urges and do it correctly and come out of the problem? I have tried it by setting goals but failed...which doesnt mean it cant be done. I'm of the belief that anything can be accomplished in life if you put your mind to it. If people can come out of alcohol and drug addiction, they can come out of trading addiction too. The only question is, can an alcoholic only have 1 drink a day or 2 drinks a week and keep control or is the only way to fix it is to stop completely. This is a question I have lived with for quite some time, because I feel I truly have the ability to make trading work but I lack the proper mindset.

Please tell me what other ways this can be fixed without completely shutting it down. Stopping it temporarily makes sense and doable but I'm just not ready to turn my back on this (not because I have to make back my money) but mostly because i feel I have spend a lot of time in learning something that I have so much passion for...and I would like to make something good out of it. I have a friend who does the same thing as me, but he doesnt have my problem....he is very disciplined. He doesnt make a lot of money, but he keeps going slow and steady - and when he loses it's small. I would like to be that guy. Can i make it? How?

s250,

Your situation sounds quite like mine. I started option trading when I lost my job in 2008. And probably have lost up to $500k since. We will keep chasing until we are dead we will lose our families and our self worth if we don't cut our losses. We also will end up losing our eye sight. The bets will just get bigger and bigger till we get wiped out and start again. Us gamblers always think we have it figured out but my friend we do not. I know you feel like you have experience you know the right time to tick in and tick out because you understand the GAME but We are thrill junkies. But the problem is this we will always notice when you make money you don't make enough in the right tick but when you lose you chase and lose it all. Happens to everybody. We are not normal we love the rush and it's gambling. We might hit the big one and dream of bigger dreams. And hit another big one. But our dreams soon will come crashing down because the bets will get bigger and we will chase bigger dreams my friend. And the day will come where we lose and it all comes crashing down. In the last 6 years I have lost every year. My eyes hurt, I've gained 30lbs. And who knows of the internal damage I've done. We got to STOP. No Win is big ENOUGH. I've had those 30k loss days and 30k win days. But at the end I LOST. All we do is when we have a big day is can't wait to play another day. We dream it, we check out the futures every 10 minutes. We look what the over seas market is doing. At the end of our lives is that what we want to wish we did with our lives. Let's stop this horrible addiction together and stop buddy. From one addict to another. Theres no short cut to success, let's face it. Cut the LOSSES once and for all. It's only money we can't take it with us let's just LIVE life. We can't blame a kid who is scared of the dark, but when a man is scared of the light there is a problem. Take Care and hope we get well soon.

I stumbled on this thread and found so much I can relate to that I decided to share my trading (gambling) story.

I first got interested in the stock market in the late 1990s during the dotcom boom. I was working for a tech company, had share options and made quite a lot of money.

In 2004 I decided to play the stock market with my pension fund. It was worth about £40k. It had previously been in “boring” mutual funds. I was sure I could do better and fantasized about growing it to a £million.

I started off not too aggressively, investing in slightly more risky mutual funds. I quickly became obsessed with the markets, checking every day and spending hours reading books, doing research etc. More by luck than anything else, I more than doubled it to £90k by 2007. Then I made a few mistakes and by the end of 2008 it had fallen to £60k. For the next 4 years I won some and lost some and ended up at the beginning of 2013 with about £50k.

I was gutted that in 9 years I'd only managed to do slightly better than break even. If I'd left it in the boring mutual funds I would have doubled my capital.

Although I still had more than I started with, it felt like a devastating loss. There was the opportunity cost of 9 wasted years, and the thousands of hours I'd spent which had achieved nothing.

I decided that the only way to recover the lost time was to take bigger risks. I invested in more volatile securities and used leverage.

It didn't go well. Fast forward 2 years to the present day and I am left with just £10k.

Looking back, I now realize that right from the start I had been gambling. Dreaming of riches, thrill seeking and then taking ever greater risks to try and win back losses. I didn't equate it with gambling at the time because it seemed so far removed from traditional forms of gambling.

The emotional toll has been much greater than the financial loss. Feelings of total failure, worthlessness, self-loathing and recurring bouts of anxiety and depression.

I'm starting to finally come to terms with it and the biggest step has been accepting that I can never win the money, or time, back. The £10k I have left is now back in a boring mutual fund.

This is my story. I have been trading stocks since 2003. In the beginning i knew nothing about the market and traded on pure luck. I quickly lost all my 5k initial investment. i later did my mba and in 2006 started yrading again with my new found "knowledge". i started doing daytrading and needless to say i lost money. it is basically impossible to profit longterm by daytrading. later i opened a margin account and in 2008 i lost about 70k. in 2010 i put 600k into a stock which i held until 2014 at which point it was worth 1.1M. i then got careless and confident and started writing naked put options without DD on the targets until they went bust, which threw me back to 830k. after this huge loss i went into a terrible depression and anxiety which made me want to recover my money. i started doing compulsive short term put writing which in the end cost me another 50k. no i am at 780k and still struggling with anxiety and depression. i am obsessed at making my money back but i think i now realize trading options and stocks is a losing proposition. i feel terrible thinking about the money i lost. i believe the only way to make money is buying and holding long term. but frankly i am too anxious to even try that again. i feel tempted to trade again to make back my money. its a never ending obsession and hellish anxiety. now i feel i rather just save my money in a bank and forget about the market. not worth the stress. ongoing obsession, anxiety, ptsd

Just before I retired three years ago, I dreamed I was in a casino, and I was down $20,000, and I just knew I was going to lose the $10,000 I had left trying to win back the $20,000 I'd just lost. I remember that horrible, gut wrenching feeling so well that I haven't gambled (in a casino) since.

Unfortunately, I didn't dream about gambling in the stock market. I decided it would be cool to use my spare time to make some money investing. Every year for the past three years, I have lost $20,000. In April 2013, I sold 900 shares of TSLA at $42/ share because TSLA dropped from my purchase price of $44/share the day after I bought it. I lost $2,000 that day and sold Tesla stock.

No matter how much or how little I bet, and no matter how safe or risky the investment is, I feel like I have to watch my computer screen all day long. Then I feel like I have to watch the news and look at discussion boards at night. This morning, I lost $1,900 betting on various futures and currencies. Yech.

This morning is over now. I accept my losses. They are in the past. I love myself. I love myself. I love myself. I love myself, and I realize that I need more love not less. Because I lost tons of money and feel pain, I need more self- love, not less. I love myself even more. I am proud of myself for -ucking up and quitting gambling. I love myself.

I am content without being a rich, fat cat. I am content without having all the things that wealth brings. In reality, what does wealth bring? Health? Maybe not.

Happiness? Certainly not.
Fine women? Fine bodies, yes, but love? Of course not.
Fine cars? Yes, but I couldn't give a $#%^ about cars.
Fine cigars? -uck that.
Fine homes? Yes, but home is really all about safety, security, peace of mind, and love.

For me, making it big was really my desire to be safe.
More money has never made me safer. My mind is what makes me feel safe or insecure.

Investing has never made me feel secure.

I love myself and I love all of you too.

Peace and love,
70000

Hello everyone,
I am too fatigued to relate my story,but it is very similar to what I have read in posts here.
I am seeking solutions.Any suggestions or leads to resources will be welcome.

70000 wrote:This morning is over now. I accept my losses. They are in the past. I love myself. I love myself. I love myself. I love myself, and I realize that I need more love not less. Because I lost tons of money and feel pain, I need more self- love, not less. I love myself even more. I am proud of myself for -ucking up and quitting gambling. I love myself.

Thank you for writing this. This is what I needed to read tonight. No matter where we are in our recovery, we need to remind ourselves of this.

Please keep coming back to the board.

Options trading is one of the riskiest investments you can ever make, many risk their future with the lure of hitting it big. The potential loss is unlimited to what you put in. I consider myself knowledgeable on the subject as my work is closely related to this field. I've always stayed away from options and took less risk by purchasing mutual funds, particular ones that are soundly S&P 500, or the general stock market index that have an extensive track record. I calculate what I can afford to put in on bi-weekly basis and just making those contributions. Granted the potential upside won't be 300% in a short time frame but you will not have to risk losing everything you put in. Overtime as you keep on making on contributions to your mutual/index funds you will make decent gains. It is a much safer method of investment so long as you do not follow the news and take your money out when things get shaky, like what many did back in 2008. Instead during a downward market I would increase my contributions and buying on a discount.

By taking the safe approach, I have stayed away from the more riskier alternatives. In the past I lost thousands purchasing penny stocks. They were the lure of just about every stock trader who wanted to make millions, I picked the 2 companies that I ignored the health of the financial statements and just went against everything I know. I just thought about the price target and hope it reached it. Stupid, Stupid, Stupid. I don't have to urge anymore to take these risk maybe it's being that my risk need as a person is met by purchasing all that I can afford on mutual/index funds.