Stock/Option "trading", I mean, gambling

Just around three months ago I lost 70k gambling on stocks, and a year before that about the same. I've lost more money in the past two years than I've made working. I swore off gambling in the markets after my last big loss and figured I would just do very sensible boring investing from now on.

After a few months I thought I was pretty much over my crazy gambling with options but I just relapsed today. I opened a new account for my Roth IRA and put the full $5500 limit in. I told myself I was just going to buy a nice safe index fund and forget about it. But the second the money hit my account and I logged in for the first time I told myself I just wanted to make a quick extra hundred to get started - just got the urge to gamble. I would make one very risky bet on a weekly option and then stop if I made some money. But it started going against me right away, so I doubled down, and then doubled again, and within 30 minutes all $5500 was in play and I was down 3k. It got worse and worse and I finally gave up with less than $700 left of my annual contribution. It was unbelievably stupid and I can't believe I let myself do it.

I've tried not to be so down on myself. No one around me has any idea how much I lost today as I stayed relatively happy on the outside while fighting self-loathing. For me this one specific loss isn't a huge deal, but it does make me fear that at some point I'll do it again on a much bigger scale. I know I'm not going to stay away from the markets for life no matter what because long-term I need to put a lot of my retirement money there. But I do need to come up with a plan where I can keep from ever being able to be self-destructive with it. The biggest thing will probably be just never putting money in a type of account where options or leverage are even possible. If it's even an option eventually I'll get bored and gamble and then I'll lose it all.

Hi Fort. Man, I know the feeling, to pretend that everything is OK when you just had this huge crushing loss. I tell myself its play money, and that I don't care about money, I go on with my life pay all my bills. But I've lost so much money the last 20 years. I know I need to stop trading stock options. But I have this feeling I can do it after a big win.

like some of the other posters here, I can't stop. I have 5K sitting in my Ameritrade account right now waiting for my next move. it's the 3rd or 4th time I've transferred 5k to that account this year. I'm on a cold streak, and I'll be thinking about this all weekend.

Hi everyone, I've spent the last hour reading your blogs. I feel you all share common DNA with my wife. Most of you seem younger than us, probably 30's and 40's My wife has successfully lost our entire "fortune". She is broken. My question, does anyone know a support group for spouses / families of broken day traders? I'd like to know how to help. thanks

The first thing that comes to mind is gam-anon. Keep in mind, you don't need to find a specific group for "broken day traders." Day trading, when done compulsively, is a form of gambling. At one GA speaker meeting, I listened to one guy who gave a speech about being one of the richest people in his city to being on the street due to the addiction. I guess, until I had gone to GA, I had never viewed day trading as a gambling problem. It was never my poison.

http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/ga/con ... ly-friends

I'm so glad I found this board. I feel like I am in the depths of hell right now, a feeling I'm sure only other stock traders/gamblers can feel. My story is very sad in that I have a disability and cannot work. I came into some money and out of a fear that it wouldn't be enough to live on I tried to 'make more' Of course, the 2nd biggest stock market crash happened about a month after I got the money. That was bad enough but what has transpired since then is just sickening. Losing it, making it back, SWEARING I'll never risk it again, and then doing it anyway. It finally came to me one night that this was my old gambling habit at work. My habit was never too serious. After losing 3,000 one night online I stopped COLD. I was so proud of myself back then, now I can't even look at my face in the mirror

The worst part is, I'm still sitting here tonight (after calling the phone company to shut my phone off to save a bit extra) figuring how I can take what's left of my decimated account and get it back.

What does it take to simply stop? How do you deal with such major losses and not just end it all? I know I won't do that, but to be in this situation is hell on earth. I'm embroiled in a high-flyer mess right now and with earnings coming up this week I need to decide whether to hold in the hopes of good news or sell and take even more massive losses. Thing is I know with the other stocks I have left I'll always be looking at the market and then I'll see whether this stock eventually goes up or down. If I sell and it goes up I feel like I'd die from the pain of it. However, I need dividends to live and not small amounts. Right now I make about 10K on dividends so I want to keep those stocks but I know, I just know that'll lead me back into hell no matter what happens with this decision Monday. I can't even drive I'm so upset. I know I have a problem, I'm facing it and still wavering.

Worst part is, all the other family members who got their money all still have it (and these are not the swiftest people on earth) but me, I lose it, me, who swore I never would risk it. I was so happy to get it given my disability status and still, I risked it and lost a lot of it. Ugh, I just need to talk to other people who are in this situation

-- Sun Apr 27, 2014 2:18 am --

Hi Fort I know exactly what you mean when you say to retire you'll have to be involved with the market somehow. That's how I feel. To live I need the income the market can bring but what's the point when you wind up losing more than you ever make? How does that lesson ever sink in?

And endingonahighnote I know what you are saying too. I stupidly transferred like the last of my free money to cover margin call and managed to get ahead and then risked it all again and now I feel like the pit of hell has swallowed me. I've had a hard life in many many ways. Illness, family issues but nothing feels as cold and sharp as the knife of losing money you NEED to live and fearing you'll never be able to stop. Maybe we can all help each other. I don't know

Don1969 - I just read your story. I feel it's somewhat similar to mine (all the stories are) Please hang in there. I know what you're feeling. You're not alone. I've laid in bed all day or taken medication to just sleep away the days because it hurts so much. I'm thankful for this board and just knowing people have the courage to be truthful. When I'm needing help I have a place to go. It may not feel like much when you're hurting so bad but it could be the first step to all of us getting over this hellish problem

Summerrose - I haven't been one to play in the markets and have good friends who are brokers with big firms so I put my trust in them. After watching Wolf of Wall Street, I am a little leary, but anyhow, they are friends. I have instructed them to invest conservatively (i.e. makes no money) but it's a IRA account I set up since I only have a pension at work. Do you have a friend or know a broker, you could hand it over to that might cut you a deal on commission? That might relieve some stress and switch investments to less volatile ones. In my line of work, we regulate the type of investments our companies can invest in and they are pretty conservative. However, some of the corporate bonds are doing well - not as much as you make off your stocks, but you could probably get a little more steady pattern....sounds like you just need to step away for a bit. It's harder when you have to live off the earnings. Do you not get a disability check?

Hi StuckinNV

I do get a disability check thankfully, but it's just not enough to live on. My story is complicated but I had gotten very sick and went bankrupt (which is sad in itself, that sickness equals bankruptcy in this country) I had a GREAT job for 20 years with great benefits and then I got sick. My family helped (so lucky there) but once I got the money the desire never to be reliant again was primary in my mind and also the market crashed (as you know) and things just went to hell. Funny, when you say to let someone else handle my money, my insides turn with fear, yet look what I've managed to do. I do need to step away. I feel like I want the stepping away to be forever, never looking back, but when I think of that I realize I will have to accept permanent losses with no hope of recovery. I wonder if it's THAT or just knowing I'll never get the high of trading all day long that stops me. I literally will sit for the whole trading day trading one stock, watching it move pennies. It's too much. I wish I could get a few hours of work off the books that would allow me to feel in control of my finances and also occupy my mind. Thanks for writing back. I really don't know much about bonds. Right now I have a lot invested in oil companies where the prices dropped so low after the crash it feels like they can't go lower (I hope) and they have good dividends. Still scary though

Fort - I just reread your post. Yes, my mistake was having a margin account. Then again I don't think they let me have a non-margin account. I sort of remember it was forced on me, which now makes me angry. Still my fault but WHY would they let you not have an all cash account?? I don't get it. Maybe I'm delusional at this point.

Hi StuckinNV,
thanks for the link to GA: http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/ga/con ... ly-friends. I can't believe that here in New Jersey with our proximity to Atlantic City and Wall Street that I can't find much in the way of group help. My problem is my wife doesn't think she is a gambler, she won't go to casinos won't bet on sports, so I feel she would feel out of place at a GA meeting. I might try to seek out private help, but I don't really have the money (any more)