Tbone, thank you for your guidance and support.
I think I may have hit rock bottom yesterday.
On the way home from work on the train, again I was switching on my laptop to trade the market trying to get back the $4k+ that I lost the day before, and started scalping the market. You are right that it was like betting on the horses - there was no following of any trading plan, no money management, just a gut feeling that there's a support here and there's a resistance there, and away I went. Surely enough, by the time I reached home I lost another $4k. And like waking up from a trance, I realized that within a day I have thrown away my monthly salary that I've worked so hard for. On top of that, I realized I have taken out my children's money from their savings account, and also money from my wife's business working capital to continue with trading. Now with a $65k debt overhanging, and I will be struggling to make ends meet even this month for my family's expenses and my wife's business.
On the bed at night, I was feeling so painful in the gut. I talked to my wife about my pain and my addiction and it caused her to lose sleep and was checking everything online to see how she can help deal with my addiction.
I will remember today's pain as the key turning point in my life. No way am I going to allow this to continue. Trading for me is truly just as bad as sports betting. Every trade/bet has a negative expectancy - it's like throwing money, time and energy into a black hole and irrecoverable.
Hopefully I can be as successful as you to go on a run of abstinence from gambling/trading, Tbone. Hopefully it will be an indefinite run. One that I can tell my kids about one day that has changed our family's circumstances for the better.
Day-1 for real this time!!!! One day at a time.