Women in their 30's and 40's. This a fetish?

chamomile_tea wrote:How on earth could having sex age someone? How could sex age women in particular? If so, does masturbating also age women? Or do penises do it somehow (like that old myth that lots of sex makes a woman's vagina loose)?

I don't really know. I'm not a physician. I assume it is good exercise, but I watched a documentary once about how porn films are made. It was not a porn but a sort of educational documentary, and one thing a leader in the porn industry said was "the women in these porn films typically age very fast, from having sex with all those men."

chamomile_tea wrote:And how do the men where you live "stand up to" the cold winters but not the women? Also, plenty of women I've known seem to have a surge in libido as they get into their 30s. Maybe it doesn't hold true where you live if many of the men have the same misogynistic beliefs as you do.

I don't know, but typically the men where I live have less lines on their faces and less drooping skin than the women.

chamomile_tea wrote:I personally had an extensive sexual experimental phase since I was 15 and a few long-term relationships...I seldom have had a "drought" that lasted longer than a few weeks since I was 15 or so. And people mistake me for a college freshman. I also go in the sun a lot and used to have terrible habits and don't spend money of fancy facial creams... go figure, I think sex keeps me young and healthy...

I use cheap facial creams myself. Typically I use the tried and true cheap ones that are made for cow udders and contain no alcohol. Bag Balm is one. Its lanolin. Protects face from cold wind and chapped lips. Its recommended by the oldest supermodel in the world. Protects against the winter in Maine. I recommend wearing some, before you become an old bag yourself.

chamomile_tea wrote:But back to the OP's issue, unless you cannot get aroused whatsoever by any women of a different age group, it's more likely a preference as others have said. I think that 'fetish' is thrown around a lot and now colloquially means "strong sexual preference" rather than "must have it paraphila."

I can get aroused by almost any woman. I can get an erection from an 50 year old woman. I can get erection quite easily. Thats not the issue at hand. The issue at hand is I am starting to look back at my life and getting pissed off, and I am not dealing with your "been there done that" attitude toward sex. I have not had many partners in my life. I find your attitude vulgar.

chamomile_tea wrote:Either way it's super common. When I worked at a strip club during the day (bad for money but better than staying up til 5am), A LOT of the men would look at me and request someone older. In fact the older women did amazingly well and got tons of attention from guys aged 18 on up to retired men.

I am not sure what to say. I am not a pedophile, but the attitude of women in their 30s. Its hard to say, I am angry with them, as they get older, because they are the women who neglected me when we were in our 20s, so I have little empathy for them, as they just seem like aging arrogant whores. Its not particularly their age or physical beauty.

I guess there is nothing specifically wrong with just using these women for sex and the throwing them away, or something, but most of them are fairly superficial and not worth any deeper emotion.

Though as a personal preference, I don't see anything particularly attractive about them as opposed to other women.

Michijo, please don't talk about "using" women and then "throwing them away". Some of your posts contain bigoted statements that could be offensive or triggering to other members, particularly females. Please remember this is a support forum for everyone, including women.

I am sorry that you have been hurt by women in the past Michijo. However you unhealthy attitude towards women is likely to only perpetuate your negative experiences, as kind and self-respecting women will most likely be repelled by your attitude. (In the same way that a nice confident man is unlikely to want to spend much time with a woman who constantly talks about men in a hateful manner.)

Its rotten of me I know. But I am not happy with the current setup. Not all women in their 30s are bad. In fact quite a few look interesting in my area. I allow myself what I would call "artistic license with being an asshole". I am sort of like Charles Bukowski. Not that I specifically mimic him, but I have noticed a similar attitude.

The terms "kind and self-respecting women" and "nice confident man" are sort of generic to me though. They sort of imply you cant be one without the other. You can be a kind woman who is not self respecting, and a nice man who is not confident.

I think these two ideals of self respect and confidence are over-rated in society, and imply that extroversion is the ideal. I can imagine a society such as a self-effacing society, where people efface themselves, like the British, but are not self-hating. I myself try to practice self-effacement.

Platypus wrote:Michijo, please don't talk about "using" women and then "throwing them away". Some of your posts contain bigoted statements that could be offensive or triggering to other members, particularly females. Please remember this is a support forum for everyone, including women.

I am sorry that you have been hurt by women in the past Michijo. However you unhealthy attitude towards women is likely to only perpetuate your negative experiences, as kind and self-respecting women will most likely be repelled by your attitude. (In the same way that a nice confident man is unlikely to want to spend much time with a woman who constantly talks about men in a hateful manner.)

I have never thrown a woman away myself. But women in their 30s cant be as picky as women in their 20s. And men who are not over-confident are still humans.

Today I was sort of looking on Okcupid at women around my age, generally 30 to 33 years old. I saw one woman, and wondered if she would be in a monogamous relationship, then I sort of had an insight: what if I was in a relationship with this woman one day and cheated on her with a younger woman, totally breaking my whole ideal. Then I thought on it more: the woman would be pissed off, but in a sense, that is what she would expect from a man! It would reassure her.

A man who believes in monogamy is little more than a maniac. One reason I believed in it, is basically from being shy to begin with, then meeting a woman and wanting her not to cheat, but having this woman strongly go against monogamy. My continued hatred of being cheated on can only be considered a mania. And if I am a maniac, I will not meet any women!

Thus my ex-girlfriend has to win, there is no way around it, to fight her is to be a maniac and not even act like a normal man. Nevertheless, its like I don't want her to win. But she played a strong psychological game with me, trying to break me of monogamy. Now I am alone for years and have had no other relationships, wasting my youth. The only thing to do is give up monogamy or commit suicide.

There other alternatives. Get over it and move on. Living in the past is monotonous. So you got cheated on, welcome to the club.

It did something strange to my mind though. The girl wasn't just cheating on me, she was as if playing some sort of game with me. I wasn't even allowed to call it "cheating". If I complained of being cheated on, the word had no meaning for her. She was in another reality, where she was merely spreading love, and I was a bad guy, a miser. I think she somehow messed me up, so that I became a bad guy, and forever after could not get a girlfriend, literally 10 years, and even having written her extensively, and even met her subsequent boyfriends, I have to say, that the slow death I have been living has only one alternative to stop being "bad guy", and that is give up monogamy. This just occurred to me today, that I could get her out of my head that way. It was some philosophy she had that she wanted me to join.

This woman is very sick. She actually plans on buying land and building a farm with all her ex-boyfriends on it, including me! A sort of harem. I am not a big nature lover myself. Actually suspect that she has psychic power and sends me messages about allowing women to be in open-relationships.

She is 35 and ready for action, if you are interested. You can go in for MILF as well: she has a child.

Hopscotch to oblivion:

edit = not funny at all

I have been looking at pictures of women in the Netherlands who are in their 30s on okcupid, and that is a much different thing than women in Maine who are in their 30s. Over there they at least look handsome. Where I live when they are in their 30s they look like used up waitresses in a truck stop diner. This 30s fetish would be geocentric. In the netherlands the women still look good at 40.