Admitting to Paraphilia

In a few months I am hoping to receive counselling about a whole raft of stuff that has affected me over the years. I intend to include my paraphilia as one of these things, because I feel it is time to admit to somebody about it without the comfort blanket of anonymity.

AlthougH my paraphilia/fetish is mostly harmless it is bizzare and one that will be hard to admit to somebody in person without feeling embarrased about it . Is it a recognised mental health issue that needs to be discussed? and, what is likely to happen if I were to speak about it to someone for the very first time?

I don't think fetishes are mental health issues. But there are various reasons why having them might cause us issues. [Guilt, fear, shame etc] And so I guess that's where talking to a therapist about it could be most useful. If it's not affecting you in a negative way, it can still be good to mention it. In terms of being open and honest. Perhaps even a way to explain that this is how your sexuality is and they don't need to make [wrong] assumptions. But I would see it as less of an important thing to go into and more just another part of what makes you you. [NB I am not a therapist and they may see it differently.]

What is likely to happen would I guess depend on the therapist. And the way you frame it. If it's the first thing you say when you sit down with them, I'd think they might take it very seriously. And frame all the discussions around it. If it's something you bring up in the course of time. Or if they ask if there are aspects of your sexuality you'd like to include in the session. And it naturally comes up there. Then they're likely to be accepting. Perhaps curious. But in a professional way rather than being intrusive.

Again, all this depends very much on the therapist. I think it would be fine to develop the professional relationship first before you choose to share about it. If you want. And it's also completely fine to ask them "how they react to unusual disclosures" and see how they answer. I'd hope they'd be able to give some information about confidentiality, and general support.

Thank you, Ada.
I have thought about how best to bring up being a Paraphiliac which , although self diagnosis is frowned upon, I cannot deny that that is what I am, and have been for decades, before I even knew there was a term for it.
I don't think I will be able to talk about it face to face, when the time arises,without first pointing them in the direction of the thread in which I go into quite graphic detail about my particular, "Thing". Then see if they want to talk about it after reading all of the posts. The stalking aspects of it for one thing, which clearly is an issue they may well wish to elaborate upon.

Maybe you could print your posts? That would allow you to anonymise them before showing them to your therapist. Not that I'm suggesting you should be ashamed of PF. [If you meant threads here, that is.] But it allows it to stay an anonymous place for you.

Ada wrote:Maybe you could print your posts? That would allow you to anonymise them before showing them to your therapist. Not that I'm suggesting you should be ashamed of PF. [If you meant threads here, that is.] But it allows it to stay an anonymous place for you.

Yes. That's a possibility. Again, thanks Ada.

If you feel any shame about your Paraphilia(s), then it is causing you enough distress that it could potentially grow into something that could have an unhealthy mental affect on you. In which case I would recommend that you do indeed let your therapist know about your Paraphilia(s).

If you're comfortable with it, though, you can open up to the forum regarding them, as we are fairly nonjudgmental individuals. Not only that, but it may assist you in letting yourself freely discuss the topics. Opening up could be a very great way of letting you release your tension on the matter, before having a face to face conversation with someone whom you are just meeting.

A good thing to keep in mind here is that no matter how severe you believe your conditions or traits to be, there will always be another person here who may have it even more intense than you. Many of those very same people have already been able to accept their conditions and traits, and live otherwise healthy lives.

So it is indeed possible to overcome the anxiety that can be felt with such distresses.

Thank you Ghost147. My main anxieties with my paraphilia/fetish is that it has no way of manifesting itself in any other way than within my own imagination. I have not seen any examples of my trigger object for over 15 years and even if I were to see one, in the context of my fetish it is impossible to experience what it is without incurring some embarrassing consequence,or knowing someone who fits the exact criteria who would be willing to participate.