Does a person with delusional disorder knows he/she is sick?

I'm very frustrated now, cause it's almost the end of the year and my mom still doesn't know she's sick, she's been sick almost a year! She has serious delusional disorder since this January, she's the Persecutory Type and Jealous Type. Her two big problems: she thinks she and I have been raped and she imagined that my dad is cheating on her.

I'll give you an ideal how crazy she is, and this is just a small part of her craziness, I can't type all of her craziness cause that'll took forever.
So she screams so loud and yell, broke things(she'll dig the inside of our TV, air conditioning, computers, cause she thinks some people put bugs in our home to keep an eye on us), spend a lot of money on weird things(she keeps changing our door locks like 10 times, cause she thinks some "bad people" have our keys), said she and I have been raped when we're asleep by strangers and police(which is not true, cause I'm a night owl, and when I'm sleeping I get up several times to drink water, go to the bathroom every night), don't let my dad and I sleep, cried very loud in middle of the night, don't let me study(I'm a senior in high school, I need to study!), don't let me go out, hit me in the face just because I go to the post office to mail things(she said I'm not allowed to mail things cause "bad people" will put drugs in my package and I'll be arrested by the police), twist my arms just because I yelled at her that she and I are not being raped, don't let my dad go to work, cause she thinks my dad will sneak out from office and have sex with some random women, she followed my dad to his office and wait outside until he finished his work, and finally, she ran into my dad's office and bite him hard, she's very violence.

At the end of October, my dad and I finally successfully put her to the hospital, the doctors said she has delusional disorder just like we thought, they gave her medicine every day, it's about two months now, but it made no difference, she's still crazy and she called us everyday from the hospital and yelled at me that I'm stupid cause I don't know I've been raped by strangers and I'm stupid that I don't know my dad is cheating, she called my dad too, make sure she knows where he is and what he's doing, sometimes my dad finished works and he'll go to the restaurant to buy take-out, in the mean time my mom knows he should be home by now, she'll call our home phone to make sure he's at home, if I said he's not at home he's buying some food then we'll all be in big trouble, cause she thinks he's having sex with some women, etc... so you see how ridiculous she is, the medicine made no difference, and the treatment is VERY VERY WEIRD! The doctors told us that they don't directly tell her that she's imagining things, they said the treatment is to tell her that maybe the things she said have happened or didn't happen, but it doesn't matter, as long as she's calm then she can go back to home. I mean what kind of treatment is this?! No wonder It's been two months and she's still crazy, so my dad and I told the doctors that they really should change the treatment or she'll never knows she's crazy, but they don't listen at all, and my mom even tell me the doctors know my dad is cheating and we've been raped, I mean this is what happened when the doctor don't tell her she's crazy, SHE THINKS THE DOCTORS ARE ON HER SIDE!!! I'm 100% sure she still doesn't know she's crazy.

The doctors even told us that we should let her go back to home, we told them she's still crazy but they won't listen, so now my dad and I are very afraid the hospital will release her and she'll kill us, yes, we found some notes at home which she wrote that she'll kill us(for our own good), and she'll kill herself too, and she told her sister many times that she wants to kill me(for my own good), we told the doctors but they said don't listen too, they even said we are too exaggerated!!! So now my dad and I live in fear.

And my mom is 51 years old, she doesn't have a job since she's married(I asked her to get a job,cause it's not like my dad don't let her to go to work, and we're not rich at all, we have lots of mortgage to pay but only one salary, but she just refused get a job! So she doesn't have a job for like 25 years now!)
Do you guys think that she's mentally ill because she doesn't have a job?
I think it makes sense, cause she's too boring then just go crazy!

I went to the library and borrowed some books about delusional disorder, but I still have a lot of questions that's not quite clear in the books,
1. Does a person with delusional disorder knows he/she is sick? How?
2. What treatment does the doctor give the patient besides the medicine? Is it true that they don't tell the patient he/she is sick?(Or just my mom's doctors)
3. Can a person be too boring(like doesn't have a job for 25 years) then became crazy?
4. The doctors don't let my dad and I tell her she's crazy(but we sometimes still tell her that, cause we can't take it anymore), they said it'll enrage her, but how will she knows she's crazy if no one tells her?
Thank you guys, I would really appreciated any advice or answers, cause I hope I can help her to go back to normal soon or I'm really afraid I'll go crazy next...

Sorry, D13, about what you are going through. I don't know all the answers to your questions, but I can speak from much personal experience with all this. Delusional Disorder is a form of schizophrenia, and my son has schizophrenia and my wife DD.

My son has something called insight: he knows that he is sick and just wants to get better. About 50 percent of the people with schizophrenia have such insight, and the others do not. They believe they are not sick, they will not take the medications and this causes all sorts of trouble for the family and others, because in reality they are very, very sick. The thing to get is this: the denial that they are sick is part of the schizophrenia itself. They are not being stubborn; it's part of the sickness.

With my wife, however, it is completely different. She has no insight at all. None. And if she did have any, it wouldn't be DD. If she woke up one day and said, "Oh, how silly of me to think that," then it never was DD. Unfortunately, she hasn't woken up and said that yet and, let's just say, I don't see anything like that on the horizon. She can say some really crazy things at times, but to her it is completely normal. She has no understanding that is is crazy. None.

So I'm thinking that if you or the doctors told your mother she was crazy, it would do no good -- at least if it's truly DD. Nothing will change her; you will never convince her. So weather the doctors tell her she's crazy or not probably doesn't really matter. Telling her may just alienate her from them even more. No one is going to get anyplace with her. It's the nature of the illness.

This is just my understanding of the sickness and what I have experienced in my own home every day for the last two and 1/2 years. Others may be able to say more or correct something that is wrong. But I really hope this helps. This is not an easy illness. i think, actually it's one of the worse -- and I've had cancer (the second worse kind in the US), and that seems like a walk in the park compared to his DD stuff...

The best to you in your situation!

MrSicily

I have DD and I have insight. I know that my occasional unrealistic thoughts must seem ridiculous to others. I've always recognized that, even though I continue to believe them at times. I'm sorry you both have relatives with this. The proper combination of medication and support can help a great deal.

Some mentally ill people have a degree of insight into their illness, while others don't. My ex husband, DDJ and very likely also Persecutory sub-type (diagnosed by me, he didn't want to go to doctor long enough to get this diagnosis), has little insight into his illness, although he does recognize that it causes a problem in his life. My mother, schizophrenia, did not have any insight whatsoever into her illness until she was put on meds (which took way too many years). Nowadays, she is fine (but only on meds, without them she starts acting kooky again), and acknowledges her official diagnosis, but prefers to refer to it as a depression.

My ex was diagnosed with DDJ by a psychiatrist who did our parenting evaluation. More than a year after the divorce, I received an email from my ex and he stated that he went to a different psychiatrist and had a different diagnosis. He attached the first page of the report which showed the summary of that he did not have DDJ, but had "strong tendency" of OCD and Narcissistic personality. He requested me to get an evaluation in exchange for the full report. I declined as all was irrelevant at that point. Since the first psychiatrist explained in the parent evaluation report how she diagnosed my ex from the "stories" and comments that my ex told her. I suspect my ex probably knew what to avoid and shared little of the "stories" that he told the first psychiatrist to the second one. I think he struggled with the first psychiatrist's diagnosis (which is fortunately court admitted official document), that he tried to overturne it by getting a second opinion and maybe most importantly, hoping to get me "diagnosed", as I was the one who had problems. So did he have insights, so that he knew how to "avoid" being diagnosed again?

I know i'm sick. I just had another episode. I recognize it and it makes me sad. Makes me mad that my brain is wired that way. Angry that I allowed myself to become obsessed again. I don't know why I do it to myself over and over and over again. It's been 20 years of the same obsession with this one band.

I guess I need some help. Though the last counselor after telling her my story said I need to find out if this guy really likes me or not. She said the signs were there that he does, so that didn't help.

The psychic I went to see told me he was my soulmate and I even pulled a soul mate card from her deck. Told me that we would be together in this lifetime and had many past lifetimes. That certainly didn't help. She said it would just take time. I guess you pay your money to hear what you were looking for.

In between songs in the middle of the show on NYE he came up and said hi darling, good to see you and gave me a hug & kiss on the cheek in front of the whole crowd. He didn't do that to anyone else. He has never done this before either. - THAT REALLY DIDN'T HELP!

We believe what we want to believe to keep ourselves going I guess. Yet, its this roller coaster ride that is fun, you realize its going too fast and you can't get off. Then its over and you want to ride it all over again.

I guess in my case everyone's ego gets stroked and it feels good, but it's all show business and could be just a lie. I want to just spit it out and say it. Sorry if I hurt you in the past, I love you.

I want to improve myself to impress him I guess. You would think that would be somewhat positive, but since my underlying intention is not for myself then I suppose not. For example, whitened teeth, working out, etc. No, no boob job or facelift. I have also been seriously considering quitting smoking. All which would benefit me in the long run, but the motivation behind it is skewed.

Fortunately, I haven't done anything really nuts to make him think I'm not well. I did go to 6 shows this year but he doesn't appear to be weird-ed out by me or try to avoid me. I don't hangout by the backstage waiting. I let us run into each other, which we almost always do. He appears very happy to see me, but its all small talk as if we are avoiding the elephant in the room. We have no contact outside of that, but for some reason I keep thinking that...someday.

I guess since i keep going back for more, its my own fault. I do it to myself. So I realize it, Insight, I suppose and then feel stupid, foolish, and ill. Oh yeah and a sucker.

Believing that he somehow really does love me, since he broke up with his wife last year its gotten worse. Each time I see him, being more affectionate in a friendly way but giving me a glimmer of hope. The fact mixes with fantasy. I just wish he would say you are the best fan, but that's all. Just lay it on the line and then maybe I could give up on it. I'd love to confront him on it, but the timing hasn't been right yet. I just either need to be embraced or released from it. I suppose by never going to another show that would do it. I just think I deserve the truth from him.

I keep it to myself mostly, except for immediate friends/family. They realize I'm just that way. They get sick of hearing about it but still love me. In the hard times I live in this bubble. I suppose after so long, its just rather sad. I do feel guilty if maybe I have wasted all this time with this. Is it really getting me anywhere anyway? Sure I'm happy to receive his attention. To be singled out by him.

I guess I just don't understand why my brain is wired to obsess. What is the point?

It's neither one nor the other. I can't see past it, though I sense something is amiss. The delusion defines the limits of my thought. Everything is contained within the confines of the fantasy. There is nothing outside of that universe. I understand my world is distorted and torturous, but there is no alternative. I literally cannot conceive of anything else.

Some can be aware and insightful and others can be completely consumed by their alternate reality. If they question their reality a lot it can give them more insight instead of faithfully following the delusion.
I've had doctors beat it into my head that I was 'diseased' and psychotic. They completely exaggerated it but they did tell me I was ill. They didn't sugarcoat anything.

I'm very sorry to eard your painful experience. From what I understand the most difficult thing about Delsional Disorder is that the person does NOT believe they are sick...they are still intelligent but irrational and can twist things to convince themselves that everyone else is in the wrong. It is an illness, she can't help it. But you must have boundaries, she should not be violent towards her loved ones. Unfortunately I think the treatment in hopsital is the only way because if you almost 'humour' the sick person, rather than challenge their delusions, they are more likely to calm down...think to a time when you were misunderstood in an arguement with somebody, or somebody didn't believe you when you were telling the truth, it just makes you more agitated and upset. But if the other person lets you be you have nothing to fight. It's an illness, that the patient has no insight into. I think they realise they are behaving unusually but everything they do, say and feel they can justify...and they truely believe it (not to say they can't lie alongside it). It's so sad for the patient and the family (I am a carer for my mum in her 50s with paranoya DD). I recommend Delusional Disorder by Alistair Munro which educated me. Drugs and family support are very important. It's concerning what you said about your mum's threats against you, be very careful and try to avoid agitating....keep all evidence of her letters (and if you can write down verbatim or record her phone calls). It's worrying the doctors think you are exhaggerating, but if she truelly has malicious intentions towards you then always report it do not take a chance. I really feel for you, look after yourself and maybe your mum needs more than a few months for a fuller recovery.

-- Fri Mar 02, 2012 1:13 am --

This must be really tough for you...have you been diagnosed with delusional disorder, and given medication for it? It's amazing that you have so much insight into your obsession because you have such a good perspective on your thoughts and behaviour, wherease I thought delusional disorder meant that the person never doubts their own reality..........which band is this guy in is he from Boston? I'm obsessed as well...and when reading a psychiatric book about dellusional disorder to learn about my mum's condition I got a bit worried that I may have the erotimania one...but then quickly reminded myself that in fact I was strongly infatuated and deluded, but didn't suffer with delusional disorder. All the best, take care.

morgan00 wrote:I know i'm sick. I just had another episode. I recognize it and it makes me sad. Makes me mad that my brain is wired that way. Angry that I allowed myself to become obsessed again. I don't know why I do it to myself over and over and over again. It's been 20 years of the same obsession with this one band.

I guess I need some help. Though the last counselor after telling her my story said I need to find out if this guy really likes me or not. She said the signs were there that he does, so that didn't help.

The psychic I went to see told me he was my soulmate and I even pulled a soul mate card from her deck. Told me that we would be together in this lifetime and had many past lifetimes. That certainly didn't help. She said it would just take time. I guess you pay your money to hear what you were looking for.

In between songs in the middle of the show on NYE he came up and said hi darling, good to see you and gave me a hug & kiss on the cheek in front of the whole crowd. He didn't do that to anyone else. He has never done this before either. - THAT REALLY DIDN'T HELP!

We believe what we want to believe to keep ourselves going I guess. Yet, its this roller coaster ride that is fun, you realize its going too fast and you can't get off. Then its over and you want to ride it all over again.

I guess in my case everyone's ego gets stroked and it feels good, but it's all show business and could be just a lie. I want to just spit it out and say it. Sorry if I hurt you in the past, I love you.

I want to improve myself to impress him I guess. You would think that would be somewhat positive, but since my underlying intention is not for myself then I suppose not. For example, whitened teeth, working out, etc. No, no boob job or facelift. I have also been seriously considering quitting smoking. All which would benefit me in the long run, but the motivation behind it is skewed.

Fortunately, I haven't done anything really nuts to make him think I'm not well. I did go to 6 shows this year but he doesn't appear to be weird-ed out by me or try to avoid me. I don't hangout by the backstage waiting. I let us run into each other, which we almost always do. He appears very happy to see me, but its all small talk as if we are avoiding the elephant in the room. We have no contact outside of that, but for some reason I keep thinking that...someday.

I guess since i keep going back for more, its my own fault. I do it to myself. So I realize it, Insight, I suppose and then feel stupid, foolish, and ill. Oh yeah and a sucker.

Believing that he somehow really does love me, since he broke up with his wife last year its gotten worse. Each time I see him, being more affectionate in a friendly way but giving me a glimmer of hope. The fact mixes with fantasy. I just wish he would say you are the best fan, but that's all. Just lay it on the line and then maybe I could give up on it. I'd love to confront him on it, but the timing hasn't been right yet. I just either need to be embraced or released from it. I suppose by never going to another show that would do it. I just think I deserve the truth from him.

I keep it to myself mostly, except for immediate friends/family. They realize I'm just that way. They get sick of hearing about it but still love me. In the hard times I live in this bubble. I suppose after so long, its just rather sad. I do feel guilty if maybe I have wasted all this time with this. Is it really getting me anywhere anyway? Sure I'm happy to receive his attention. To be singled out by him.

I guess I just don't understand why my brain is wired to obsess. What is the point?

This is a hard thing for you to go through I feel for you. I think they don't have insight, but you're right they are clever enough to know what to say and what not to say, they learn from our reactions. They censor themselves....from what I understand it's very easy to be undiagnosed and misdiagnosed, for that very reason, the person is very capable of lying their cognition isn't affected they are smart, so they realise how people react to them when they live out their delusions, so they keep them inside as much as they can...not to say they are not experiencing them..I see this in my mum when we are in a doctor's office, depending on how good and briefed the doctor is, she can say very little...but if the doctor asks the right questions and I am in the room prompting her or filling in the gaps...then she can't help herself and spills out with delusional irrational thought. It's when they are alone with the doctor that they can deceve them I think. ALl the best, take care.

leavingthedarkness wrote:My ex was diagnosed with DDJ by a psychiatrist who did our parenting evaluation. More than a year after the divorce, I received an email from my ex and he stated that he went to a different psychiatrist and had a different diagnosis. He attached the first page of the report which showed the summary of that he did not have DDJ, but had "strong tendency" of OCD and Narcissistic personality. He requested me to get an evaluation in exchange for the full report. I declined as all was irrelevant at that point. Since the first psychiatrist explained in the parent evaluation report how she diagnosed my ex from the "stories" and comments that my ex told her. I suspect my ex probably knew what to avoid and shared little of the "stories" that he told the first psychiatrist to the second one. I think he struggled with the first psychiatrist's diagnosis (which is fortunately court admitted official document), that he tried to overturne it by getting a second opinion and maybe most importantly, hoping to get me "diagnosed", as I was the one who had problems. So did he have insights, so that he knew how to "avoid" being diagnosed again?