inappropriate sexual behavior towards child HPD parent

Crystal, thanks for your posts and your honesty. Your family sound so uncannily like mine were towards me when I was growing up and in my teens. My father outlived my mother and he carried those attitudes towards me well into my adulthood. I just wanted you to know I can identify with you.

My mother is probably more NPD/BPD/PAPD than HPD, but (possibly because of my own HPD traits) I have always suspected sexual overtones in what she would tell me or in how she'd interact with me. I have always found this appalling, ever since I first realized it was happening. That kind of marked the beginning of the end for any genuine esteem I had in my mother. It's worth mentioning, however, that hysterics are hypersensitive to the desires of others--often attributing imaginary desires to people they interact with. So I think my fear that my mother wants to molest me is probably more related to me being too vigilant to things without meaning.

My cousin (by marriage) is someone who would strike you as genuinely histrionic if you got to know her. She has five children, one of them is MR or ID. She ignores him for the most part except for when paying attention to him will make her seem like a compassionate person. He is the second born of the five. The oldest she totes around as if they were sisters, competing for the love of her husband, who is my blood cousin.

The third born child is the one where the most boundaries are crossed, in my opinion. He is the son they had to compensate for having one "defective" child. The histrionic mom, tentatively "L", loves to symbolically mate with this son. He is golden, an All-American boy who is just like his father and more importantly, just like L's father. It's also worth mentioning that he bares resemblance to L's father more than any of their other children. This treatment shows in his personality, because he's cruel and self-centered and ignorant but he can sweet talk people very well. He is poorly behaved though, as most of the children are, because they are rarely taken care of by their parents. The oldest child has been tasked with taking care of those kids her whole life, and her personality definitely proves this feeling of betrayal.

Interestingly that daughter gave birth to her first son (at 17) the other day. Her mother announced the birth by saying "We're having a baby!" There has been considerable drama regarding how information was released about the birth, all at the hands of L.

But anyway, L is always trying to be young and fun and an acceptable peer to her children. This includes being flirtatious to them.

Even though I know she does some really cold stuff, I don't dislike her, though. I love that when I talk to her, she turns everything into a sentiment and she loves to bask in intimacy. She doesn't know what's wrong with her and she doesn't do it on purpose, so I won't ever hold anything against her unless it affects me or unless I have to help someone. I've actually always wished she was my mom.

Anyway, there are my thoughts on the matter. Sorry for rambling.

coneyislandking wrote:... She doesn't know what's wrong with her and she doesn't do it on purpose, so I won't ever hold anything against her unless it affects me or unless I have to help someone. I've actually always wished she was my mom.

Anyway, there are my thoughts on the matter. Sorry for rambling.

Hey coney,

That may be the best you can do sometimes, realize and accept it's not something done on purpose.

p.s. lol sometimes the best thoughts and insights come through rambling

I know this is quite and old thread, but I was googling and looking up inappropriate Histrionic's behaviour towards siblings and relatives, and came across this post..

A sister of mine is Histrionic. She used to have very inappropriate behaviour towards my brother. It made him very uncomfortable. It bothered him deeply.He moved quite some years ago far away, and visits RARELY. .He wont visit because of her.I miss him.My sister is unavoidable...plus she lives with my parent's. So he really cant even sneak in.My parents never said anything to her about her inappropriate behaviour when we were growing up.She got away with crap that the rest of us children would have been crucified for.She had NO BOUNDARIES. .The parents also never set any for HER.She not only is Histrionic. .but bipolar, with whatever else going on.She has what my father has.He is NPD and bipolar.Both unmedicated.Growing up with both of them was hell as they would both go into explosive unprovoked rages.

Flash foward to now.My sister is inappropriate with me.I am female? She rubs her body sexually infront of me.Tries to stand extremely close and rub up against me.She was lying on my parents sofa one day, elbows supporting her up, and thrusting her pelvis infront of me.My mother saw this...said nothing, although my mother used to see my father do inappropriate things with us as children and said nothing.My sister is in her early 50's.
Seems for some reason in the Histrionic person's mind, they either cant process properly appropriate/inappropriate behaviour..Either by chemical/brain makeup..or heck, maybe by choice..They dont dare want people invading their privacy/space, but feel its their DUTY to invade other's. They seem to be slighted easily..crucified easily by the lightest corrections, but seem to have no shut off valve bullying others..They seem to know NO boundries..and my sister also had a long term sexual relationship with an immediate male relative.Which yes, GROSSES me out.I am beyond uncomfortable with her behaviour towards me..Have spoken to her harshly, for that is the only way to get through to her.It works for awhile. .then starts up again.Im so done..Its sexual harassment.

-- Sun Jul 13, 2014 8:56 am --

I know this is quite and old thread, but I was googling and looking up inappropriate Histrionic's behaviour towards siblings and relatives, and came across this post..

A sister of mine is Histrionic. She used to have very inappropriate behaviour towards my brother. It made him very uncomfortable. It bothered him deeply.He moved quite some years ago far away, and visits RARELY. .He wont visit because of her.I miss him.My sister is unavoidable...plus she lives with my parent's. So he really cant even sneak in.My parents never said anything to her about her inappropriate behaviour when we were growing up.She got away with crap that the rest of us children would have been crucified for.She had NO BOUNDARIES. .The parents also never set any for HER.She not only is Histrionic. .but bipolar, with whatever else going on.She has what my father has.He is NPD and bipolar.Both unmedicated.Growing up with both of them was hell as they would both go into explosive unprovoked rages.

Flash foward to now.My sister is inappropriate with me.I am female? She rubs her body sexually infront of me.Tries to stand extremely close and rub up against me.She was lying on my parents sofa one day, elbows supporting her up, and thrusting her pelvis infront of me.My mother saw this...said nothing, although my mother used to see my father do inappropriate things with us as children and said nothing.My sister is in her early 50's.
Seems for some reason in the Histrionic person's mind, they either cant process properly appropriate/inappropriate behaviour..Either by chemical/brain makeup..or heck, maybe by choice..They dont dare want people invading their privacy/space, but feel its their DUTY to invade other's. They seem to be slighted easily..crucified easily by the lightest corrections, but seem to have no shut off valve bullying others..They seem to know NO boundries..and my sister also had a long term sexual relationship with an immediate male relative.Which yes, GROSSES me out.I am beyond uncomfortable with her behaviour towards me..Have spoken to her harshly, for that is the only way to get through to her.It works for awhile. .then starts up again.Im so done..Its sexual harassment.

Hi starbright333,

In more general terms, people with PDs follow the scripts they know and repeat, because they seem to work in some contexts. Yes, being sexual is out of context among family members, but it's likely the script she knows. Behind that is likely some issue(s) she hasn't resolved, but for various reasons she cannot or will not look deeper.