I have recently decided to cut ties altogether with my mother. I should have done it 20 years ago. She exhibits symptoms of both HPD and NPD. my wife thinks my mother's weird and it took me 15 years to agree with my wife. In fact, i should probably have cut ties with my mother 20 years ago and have been thinking about it for 20 years. I also have two kids to think about. In my youth my mother did ocassionally exhibit innappropriate behavior, she only seems to care about herself and what people think of her, and she is one heck of a dram queen to the point of making me angry as a child. and she is very possessive. she used to establish relationships with girlfriends and effectively end those newly budding friendships to the point where I gave up because i thought i was wasting my time. now recently i have more or less proven to myself that she has been telling an ex-girlfriend where i live, whenever i move, for the last 20 years or so - the ex girlfriend is probably BPD and causes a whole mess of trouble herself - but my mother is the only person who has consistently been in contact with me for 20 years so logically she's the only sensible answer to how this mixed up ex girlfriend is managing to stalk me over 20 years on multiple countries, in multiple cities and even on multiple continents.
So i break ties with my mother, and start researching and thinking about my parents. What a can of worms i come up with. My father is OCD and probably NPD as well - these two dont commonly mix. My mother is either/both NPD and HPD. And I do not agree with anyone who says that psychology is an exact science and would ask that you consider ambiguity as a possibility.
Also I have two kids. My mother isnt very interested in them. My father is more interested and I would trust him more even though there is potential risk with NPD - he has no trouble with women at all. My mother seems to dislike men and is one of those feminists who wants her cake and to eat it too - in fact she isn't really a feminist - just wants to benefits of pretending to be one. I don't think my kids are safe with my mother left alone with her - travelling to another country - she could introduce them to the Borderline PD who has been stalking me for 20 years - and whom she has been assisting.
Anyone have any opinions? I know this is itty-bitty and bounces all over the place - I tend to write in a stream of consciousness when unedited - and I write books - go figure
Has anyone else had to more or less write their parents off? I migrated to a country where they cannot immigrate into. They can still visit and they always cause huge problems when they do. I have never visited them and I never will. Should I be stopping at least my mother was seeing my children because I thin she will have a negative effect on them and possibly even expose them to the threat of a real live stalker.??? Opinion please. I am wondering if I am making the correct decision or not. I have tried to build relationships between my mother and my kids for years - I dont want a relationship with my mother herself because she drives me nuts - does it make sense to =be protecting my children from someone who has caused unimaginable and profound damage in my life?
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