Support for Non-Histrionic Personality Disorder

Hi and welcome to the forum. Have you checked out the Significant Others Forum for support for those who are involved/have been involved with people with disorders?
family-support/

Thanks masq,
I've moved to commenting over there, but I'm wondering what is the purpose of this forum then? they seem to be similar.

Is this one being depreciated? Are you moving support from lists for PD specific NONs to a general "support for all NONs " ?

Thanks

Hi. The thread you are writing on now was created some time ago, before the creation of the Significant Others Forum, which was created relatively recently. In the months since its creation, the SO Forum has become very active.

You may prefer to write in this thread, but the Signficant Others Forum will provide more visibility for your posts and a wider range of support.

The HPD forum is mainly for those who have HPD, and for educational discussions about the disorder where nons and people with HPD may interact and learn from each other.

The SO Forum is more specifically for issues faced by their partners, families or friends that may occur as a result of the disorder. Because the significant others face very specific issues that may have caused them emotional pain, confusion and anger as a result of their relationships, the SO exists to give them space to talk more freely about their issues than they could in the HPD Forum.

A poem I wrote regarding issues with a family member who I believe either has Histrionic PD and/or Borderline PD:

Broken

What if the chain of events and “truths” that you knew
Were really the imaginations of a broken person who
Had endured a bad childhood and has numerous triggers,
And the eruption is just a replay of something bigger?

She is feeling afraid, so he must be dangerous.
She is feeling wounded, so he must be harming.
She is feeling empty, so he must be unsupportive.
She is hysterical, so there must be something alarming!

All of you negative advocates who only hear her side,
You’re enabling her to not have to look inside!
You join in the mob mentality and play her game.
Are you working to stem the tide or to fan the flame?

Take heed that you might be doing her more harm than good.
And there are certainly other casualties.
Sadly, her children may one day become the target,
And then who will you blame with that reality?

What if her love were really her best chance of happiness?
Would you be so quick to promote all this ugliness?
Nothing is totally black and white, tho’ she see it that way.
You might help her more by illuminating the grey.

Interesting poem. As if written to the fan club, and perhaps more broadly, to the spirit of "everything is acceptable" psychological liberalism?

Histrionic disorder relationship

I am very frustrated and hope you guys can help. I have been in a relationship with an HDP for about 3-4 months. For the last 6 weeks or so she has been flirting with a doctor on the hospital floor we both work on. He flirts back and is a little relentless about it. She denies anything is going on between them but I can't help but think there is. Here's the kicker....He is married and so is she! I know this doesn't say much for me but she pulled me in with stories of how her husband pays no attention to her and how lonely she is at home. I have to watch them circle each other, make eyes and flirt with each other at work almost every day and I hate it!! Any thoughts or help?

I have a friend who is HPD - recently took a bunch of pills and said she wanted to kill herself. She did it on her husband's birthday while he was at home... and of course told him what she had done right after she took them. The sheriff had to come make a report when the paramedics came. They took her to the hospital but she refused to stay. She would not talk to the psychiatrist. She is now mad at all her family members who wanted her to stay and get help. She insists that it's all her husband's fault and sometimes her daughter, just depending on which is acting right that day. She complains to MY husband often. She calls him and texts him.... not me. I am not at all threatened by this and my husband is not at all falling for her stories any more. We know she has a problem, so I just try not to make any waves for her husband by reacting to her behavior. Should we acknowledge that we know what she did? I have not called her just not knowing what may make it worse for her husband and family. I do ask how things are, her husband works with me and my husband at our business. We care about this family. Just not really sure what to do to help, if anything.

For six years I have been involved with a woman with symptoms of HPD. I have been married to her for over three years. When I got laid off of my job I entered the devaluation stage. This was accelerated by the reserve money running out. After open heart surgery to repair an aortic aneurism in Nov 2013, I entered the discard phase. I looked to these forums everyday for help, words of wisdom, and so forth. After some time, and some healing I have these observations:

1.) It hurts, it is gonna hurt until it doesn't anymore. I wish I could have changed this in me. I wish I could change this for you. I cannot.

2.) There is nothing you can do to change them, or manipulate them into changing. The change must be organic. The desire to change must be intrinsic. He/she has showed you the true colors. Don't try to repaint.

3.) For some of us, we allowed our relationships to be one-sided and did all of the "heavy lifting" because we loved this person. Its time to do some heavy lifting for YOU!!! It's past time to make YOURSELF happy.

4.) After some time you may forget the HPD within the person. Don't worry. He/she will do something to remind you of the disorder. Keep working on you.

5.) Living well is the best form of revenge.

That's all I have for now. I may learn more or may reverse position. I don't know.

FindnMyWay wrote: After some time you may forget the HPD within the person. Don't worry. He/she will do something to remind you of the disorder.

I have to keep reminding myself of this. Something that helps me is my "$#%^ List". Whenever your disordered friend/SO does something horrible to you, write it down in your $#%^ List while the emotions are still raw. Time tends to dull the hurt, so whenever I start thinking "maybe she's not so bad" I read my S.L. and the bad memories come flooding back. That makes it easier for me to keep my distance.

Do any of you guys keep a list like this?

My last post was coming from a place of anger. I'd like to add one more thing.

Masquerade and others are proof that there is hope for those we care about. By going NC we give ourselves time to heal; we also allow our loved ones a chance to do the same. Although many people experiencing personality disorders do not avail themselves of the chance to heal right away, there are many who do. Masquerade is one of the great examples of people who have taken the path to healing.

I admire these people because they have chosen to uncover pains that have been buried for years in order to heal.

That being said, I hope each person reading this finds healing and peace on their journey.