Non-Narcissistic Support thread.....

*edited*

Chicken, I think that many people may miss your posts up here on this thread, which always stays at the top of the page. If I were you, I'd start a new thread on the main forum below, maybe asking people to read your posts in the non-narcissist support thread. You sound as though you need some good advice and support. Best of luck, funky.

Chicken_chicken,
That is a excellent website for victims of narcissistic abuse. It seems you are a DONM. Join the club!

Oh, Chicken, sweetie, no, don't worry, post away down there, it's for nons and narcissists, no-one's going to have a go at you. This is a place for us to talk honestly to one another, and on the rare occassions that someone does go too far, the moderators will step in. Please do post down there, they're an ok bunch on both sides. I'll be watching out for your posts. Got to go, expecting my friend in a sec. Best of luck.
P.s. I've heard other nons in the past say that they were afraid to post, but they've been surprised and relieved at the general level of civility and helpfulness.

having a hard day today. its my ex-N's birthday. I feel bad that i feel bad. i feel bad about myself for feeling bad that i havent heard from him since monday when he said he was coming to see me for his birthday (i knew he wouldnt). i feel bad that he's probably spending it with the new person (tho i dont know who they are or if they even exist but they must do right?).

most days I cope ok but today i feel bad. and sad.

EarlyMorning, cheer up. Realize how fortunate you are! BELIEVE in yourself! You are FREE! Listen to this song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39aa2Hici0s , dance around naked in your house, and burn your least favorite bra.

I dodged a huge bullet with an N who was pursuing me a couple of years ago. In fact, it was more like "I outsmarted him." Maybe later I will explain how, but for now I am enjoying the fact that after reading all of the N's posts, I find humor in how they all sound the same. I guess they aren't so special after all!

By the way, when I have more time and more motivation, I will be posting a message of strength and hope, not just for the Non Support Thread, but for all of those who have suffered at the hands of the mentally ill and those with PD's.

Viva la libertad! Viva! Viva! Viva!

Recently, a highly stylish female friend of mine with the most beautiful golden eyes I have ever seen approached me and said, "You look different. You look so good! What's different? I know, you did something different with your hair!" I smiled, a great big smile , and said, "No, my hair is the same. I'm just so happy. That's what so different." I noticed that her grin started to stretch into a mirror image of my smile. My friend then said, "That's it! When you feel great inside, you look great outside! I'm so happy for you!" I retorted, "Well, you look great every day! You must feel great every day!"

So you see, if you love yourself, truly love yourself, others will see how beautiful you are, too, and Love will inevitably find you.

Phenomenal Woman
BY MAYA ANGELOU
Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms,
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them,
They say they still can’t see.
I say,
It’s in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing,
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need for my care.
’Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

My teen is a narcissist. 15 year old boy. We're in therapy, but in the meantime I need some help in the day-to-day battles.

Any help with these situations would be great.

1. Should we force him to take part in family activities when he doesn't want to go. He makes
every car ride completely miserable (unless we're going to his favorite restaurant or some other fun activity).

2. He obsessively asks, "are you happy? or why aren't you happy?" Keep in mind this is a 15 year old kid.

3. We want to praise him without adding to the problem. We don't want to praise for praise sake.

4. When he heaves verbal jabs or pushes someone out of the way to get where he's going, as a parent do you just let it go or punish him or lecture him or? None of these things seem to have an effect other than to give him more attention.

5. When, as a parent, I finally blow up, it seems to satisfy him. He seems to pick and pick until we get to that point. He literally has a sigh of relief when we blow.

6. He's never wrong in his own mind. Do we need to force an apology so he can learn to cope with this the rest of his life?

7. When he wants to talk to me he wants 100% undivided attention. Multitasking is forbidden in his mind. Controlling thing. It is possible to talk and wash the dishes at the same time...I need to get stuff done. Solution?

8. Do we give up on the possibility of a deep meaningful relationship with him? Is that the Christian thing to do?

9. Knowing that he shouldn't interrupt, he does anyway and is escalates until he literally gets between the people in a conversation to say "hello, I'm here!" in a sarcastic tone. Solution?

10. He fantasizes about running countries or running multinational companies and just can't picture the day-to-day responsibilities or the fact that you have to walk before you can run. I don't want to squash dreams, but I do want to encourage reality like, you might have to work at McDonalds before you become a CEO.

11. Left to his own decisions, he would sit on a computer and look up facts on his fantasies for hours and hours. As parents we limit computer use. He also reads non-fiction stuff voraciously. Limit that?

Hi Dave,

Your son sounds like any normal teenager like;

1. Should we force him to take part in family activities when he doesn't want to go. He makes
every car ride completely miserable (unless we're going to his favorite restaurant or some other fun activity).

No teen wants to 'take part in family activities' borrrrrring or what. They want to be on their computer or even better out with pals their own age.

I do not think you should be labelling a teen narcissistic, all teens are narcissists its normal
He is of an age where he is on one hand, a child, needing to know you are there for him and at the same time a budding adult trying to develop independence and his own life.

8. Do we give up on the possibility of a deep meaningful relationship with him? Is that the Christian thing to do?

Are you serious? you are thinking of giving up on a teen of 15 years because he (quite naturally) does not want to do exactly as you say? The Christian thing to do is to be there if he needs you, to cut him some slack, and love him UNCONDITIONALLY.

He sounds like a good kid, come on. He could be in trouble with the law, on drugs, fighting all the time, skipping school and up to allsorts.

Is he an only child?

My teen is a narcissist. 15 year old boy. We're in therapy, but in the meantime I need some help in the day-to-day battles.

Hey , I'm not sure if I'm allowed to post here , because I have NPD but if not you guys can delete this.

I thought teens weren't diagnosed. Because they are all Narcissists by nature , I mean they grow out of it.Thinking you're right and you know better is a teenager trait , if I'm not wrong.If you don't grow out of it , then it becomes a problem.

I think this is completely normal , every teenager I've ever met doesn't want to participate in family activities.But if he is physically harming people(pushing them etc.) , you should tell him that it is unacceptable to do that.Of course he is never wrong in his mind.That is every teenager. If he really hurts another person you could demand an apolgy but try to do it without belittling him or hurting his pride. Because even with non-NPD's , hurting a 15 year old boy's pride can have bad consequences.
You could be ruining his self-esteem.

I don't believe in religion so I'm not sure what's the Christian thing to do but I sure hope that it is not abandoning your relationship with your son.

To me your son sounds like a typical teenager.