bsc,
reading this last update (specifically, insurance related stuff) really made my blood boil... Knowing the hell you went through to get your wife to her current state of functioning, it is maddening to hear that all that might be in jeopardy simply because some insurance bureaucrat cannot grasp the need for injectable Risperdal. I had similar reaction couple of days ago reading someone's post on schizophrenia forum - that person apparently had a moment of insight and wanted to see someone ASAP only to be bounced from one doctor to another and finally left to wait for an appointment, which may come too late.
And on the other side here I am with quite enough financial resources to cover treatment, ready to suck it up and stay with my husband if only he made an attempt to see someone and consider treatment. Not going to happen. It sounds melodramatic but is true in his case: he would rather lose everything he has left, including his life, than admit he is ill and needs treatment.
It is also heart-wrenching to hear about your daughter's problems. Hopefully, she will be able to see them for what they are and deal with it. This will sound weird to many people, but in a way I am grateful that my children are on autistic spectrum. While I know their lives will be more challenging because of it, it is something I can understand and deal with and it is certainly not something that shatters my hopes and dreams for them. Quite the opposite with my husband - it is terrible thing to say but I don't think he'll ever again be able to find his peace in this life...