family issues, mostly

Not sure if I'm in the read thread, but I'll give this a go.

I'm 47, male, and currently living with my father. Ten years or more ago I was off and on dating a woman about 6 years younger then me but we never got past out intimacy issues. Some thought she was using me, others just thought I should move on and some others would suggest things to try to move things forward. Most ended with little success.

I was living then in an apartment with her, living in separate rooms. I read Savage Love and told myself, it's just how it is sometimes with some couples. I was going nowhere doing tedious dead end jobs, no car, no prospects, just going through the motions. Nothing much to distinguish one day from the next.

My mother died from cancer in 2017, and wanted me to find someone to be happy with and didn't think that my off and on was the one. I agreed, but was tired of being alone and having nothing in my life so by 2022 I knew she was not dating anyone probably since me. Just how she is. We dated again for a year, and things advanced more then they ever had intimitly and trust wise but finally I found out she was sexually assaulted when she was a teenage and she was a teary eyed mess as she told me, and said she had never told anyone else.

I had known a little bit that someone she trusted did something years ago, but nothing more. She voluntarily said she would see a counselor to try and help with it but later said it cost money and she had no coverage for that. So we went camping, a 3+ hr drive away, thought it might help for some reason. And I said to her when we got back that things were not working and that was when she opened up more.

She is living with my sister, down the street from me who I believe is un-diagonsed bi-polar cause of her mood swings, agitation and intense irritability. (she has often flipped out if Lori and I came back to her place with a beverage and didn't offer or ask if she wanted one, same if we were at a grocery store) if she wasn't kept in mind, there was hell to pay. Threats would insue. She also has schemes, 2-3 at least a year. She's going to work under the table or do web design with a friend and make money or get involved in this or that. Newest one is shirt making, they all sadly end up no where and she has no real job.

Back to my father. I've been living here for just over 5 years. It was supposed to be 1-2, after mom died, to keep him company. Not entirely unproductive. I paid off my college loan, bought a car and learned to drive. I had a job I loved for 7 years, I left it last summer (more on that another time). It paid poorly. On the plus side I am making more then double my past job, more then I've made before in my life. But every day I come home and pretty much it's ground hog day.

Father is 73 yrs old, watching old westerns on the recliner, till he falls asleep. Says the same things every day. How was your day today? I'm so sick and tired of the question now I don't hardly answer it. He has a gf but they argue over stupid things. Once and a while I get him out for a game night or a burger cause I'm sick of watching tv shows in the living room. Old re-runs 80% of the time.

I feel like I want to do more but I just feel depressed and uninterested watching a show with him and waiting till 50% of the time he falls asleep and starts snoring.

My sister and my father both have irritability and when together they occasionally become intolerably to be around. Although he doesn't often direct it at me, I guess cause I don't ask for much and work long hours, he has been toxic to her and my ex. Not in recent months though.

There were times I wanted nothing to do with him cause of it, after I moved out. But things are reasonable okay now.

How do you all deal with these kind of family members and is it something I just need to change up , and avoid routines with them with?