Feel like I've lost my sister

So my sister is in her early 30s and up until a few months ago had never dated or had a boyfriend. She has one now, and I feel like I've been replaced. I also recently moved again for a job that's 5 hours away, but I've moved before and we've always kept in constant contact, but now I hear more about her from my mom than anything she tells me.

She recently told me that because she got a new job, she would be selling her house and moving in with the boyfriend (which was a change from a couple weeks ago when she said the drive to her new job wouldnt be bad and just mostly highway). I told her I thought that was too soon since they hadn't been together for that long and if he wanted to move in, she had a place to trial it out. She also took a job that's almost full time and 12 hour shifts. Because of some health issues, she has never been able to work much more than part time, so I'm not sure why she even applied on this. I've gotten the feeling from being around this boyfriend a few times that he is a bit controlling. My sister is not one to rush decisions. It took her months to just pick out flooring or countertops, so to just be up and selling a house to move in with someone shes only dated a few months seems rash. She also has a hard time saying no to people who arent me or our parents. When it was my birthday, they came over but only stayed for less than 2 hours as they both apparently had to go to his friends opening night of DJing at some bar. My sister previously said we could do whatever I wanted since it was my birthday yet was pushing for me to go out which was not something I wanted to do and I had told her this on more than one occasion. So when it was around 815pm, her boyfriend was tapping his phone to signal they had to leave, and that was all I seen of her my birthday weekend until Monday when the boyfriend was back at work and she was free to hang out. Anyway she was suppose to come down and visit me a week ago but didn't end up doing so as she had to get her house ready to sell. I found it convenient timing that I told her I felt like she was rushing this decision and then all of a sudden she's not coming to visit me. Which I didn't even hear from her, my mom had to tell me. According to my mother, she is also burning the candle at both ends, and I know she isnt working much so to me that indicates that she isn't saying no ever to this guy. No boundaries set.

When it comes to her, everything she does is always the right choice. Prior to this relationship, she was always so negative and criticized everything I did. She was never supportive of me going back to school basically saying it would be a waste of time and I wouldnt get a job in the end (which I did get a job for what I took), and any guy I've dated that she's known about, she's torn apart. I briefly dated a guy with kids and that according to her was such a dumb decision yet her best friend is currently dating a guy who isn't even divorced from his wife who has a kid and she doesn't criticize her. At least not to her face.

Since I've voiced concerns over her recent decision of selling her place and moving in with this guy, she's basically said I'm being unsupportive and I should just get on board. But she doesn't tell me anything anymore, so how am I suppose to know what her life is like if she doesn't talk to me? When I feel like her boyfriend is running the show, I'm going to be concerned. And I haven't told her that aspect, I've just said her recent choices don't feel like her to which she says I'm not there and I don't see everything. Which true, but again she also isnt telling me anything either. I don't know how she expects me to respond to that. It's all LOLs and smiley faces. She isn't the type of person to rush, and that seems to be him to a T. She turned him down twice before they started dating and she said that she thought he was just looking for a wife.

The last year and a half has been incredibly difficult. I did not get the covid vaccine for various personal reasons. As a result, both sides of my family minus my parents and sister stopped talking to me, and friends I talked to everyday also disappeared. I was not invited to Thanksgiving or Christmas, and because I work in healthcare, I was put on an unpaid leave of absence and had to move back home. My sister was the last constant person in my life and we communicated on a daily basis in some form even though I moved 5 hours away for a job. To go from that to now her not talking to me barely at all or not even responding to something I've sent her, it feels like I don't even have a sister anymore. And when she raves about her boyfriends family and how she fits in perfectly it's like a stab in the back. Like she's forgotten she has a family of her own and we're all of a sudden not good enough for her anymore.

I don't know, I'm just feeling really sad and more depressed. I was given back my job but wasn't thrilled to be going back to a company that pushed me out based on a personal choice. Not knowing how I'd cope, I did hire a personal trainer/life coach to see if that would help, which it has. I've made lifestyle changes, mostly with food, and found my overall mood is generally better, but I live in a place where I don't have friends or much support, and the last constant person in my life isn't there anymore and doesn't think I'm supportive in what shes doing even though shes shut me out of her new life. I dont even know how to respond to her or if I should bother responding to that. Sorry this is so long..

To be frank, it sound like you are a being a bit too looming over your sister, tho considering what you are going through, it is understandable.

This guy may not be the best, he may be controlling and pushy. However, he may totaly not be! Either way, its not your place to decide what your sister should do about it.

Shes an adult, she can make her own choices. She may be a bit naive, but shes not incapable. Unless you see some serious red flags, Id leave it alone.

It sounds like she can be patronizing to you about your choices too. Not cool, but your sisters. Its a typical dynamic.

Perhaps its time to mature your relationship, from those childhood standpoints of looking out for eachother like parents, to respecting eachother like capable adults. Which it sounds like you both deserve very much btw!

Give your sister some space, this is probably all new and exciting for her. Start treating her with respect in this aspect, even tho she hasn't done this for you (someone has to start) Don't let your sister talk down to you anymore either.

Maybe tell her this preemptively and apogize. Tell you've decided to start being more supportive, and would like the same form of respect from her moving forward. She may open up to you more if you do.

Lastly, start focusing on you! It sounds like your already doing this, keep at it.

Try getting into social activities to find like minded people. They are out there. Join some clubs or classes. Start looking for some new friends.

I know its hard and lonely lately, and Im sorry for what you are going through. That does sound awful. But Im certain you can meet some new people and get yourself in a better place mentally. Good luck!