Is She a Narcissist

Good morning.

I'm a 40-year-old man who has been married for 17 years to my wife, whom I've suspected of being a narccisist since 2013. I've often considered leaving her, and I haven't been truly happy in my marriage for years. I wanted to present some of her behaviors to see if she might not have some narcissistic traits:

- I've been walking on eggshells since day 1 of our marriage. Everything I say, especially to others, goes through her filter of "How might it affection people's opinion of me [the wife]?" If she thinks that it someone might interpret what I said to look bad for her, she fights with me.

- She frequently compares herself to Jesus Christ. "So and so didn't say hello to me at Church. They're probably jealous of me. They're all jealous of me. They were jealous of Christ, too."

- She has said horrible things to me throughout our marriage. She used to say, "No wonder kids made fun of you in school." Then it went to, "How dare you ask me to marry you before having a good job and a house!" (during a period of financial instability) as if she had no moral agency in saying "Yes" and it was all my fault. Then it went to, "If I could do it again, I'd marry a real man." Then it went to her telling my daughter how unambitious her dad is, despite me making a six-figure salary.

- She frequently downplays all the big sacrifices (scholarship, being close to family and friends, working two jobs) I've made so she can pursue her dreams.

- She gets down when she assumes people are judging her, but without any evidence. "The neighbor doesn't look at me in a friendly way. She probably thinks that I'm too young to be [our daughter's mother]. She probably thinks I'm a whore. Why does everyone always judge me?" *Spends several hours moping around the bedroom*

- Whenever I used to vent my problems or talk about my dreams, she'd always find a way to hijack the conversation and move the focus onto herself.

- She has admitted to withholding forgiveness from family members in order to keep them in debt to her. She reminds her mother of mistakes she made while raising her all the time. She has very severe Mommy Issues and frequently goes into fits of sadness whenever anything makes her think about her mom, whom she's still relatively close to.

- She has argued a lot with me because my praises of her work--she's beautiful, talented in the arts, a good dancer, etc.--are sometimes not as creative as the praises she gets from others. Don't get me wrong, I praise her a lot. But man.

- She likes to drone on and on about how she's a genius and gifted. She also likes to talk about how she's a better Christian than everyone she used to go to church with.

- She badmouths my friends in front of her family and then gets mad at me for not defending her, even though nobody had actually attacked her.