No friends advice

Today is my birthday and I came to the realization that I do not have any true friends. I always engage in their social media posts, give them likes, text them Holiday wishes, and Birthday greetings, gave gifts etc. One friend in particular I was always caring and thoughtful towards. Especially when she was sick and was struck with family tragedy. Everyone knows that today is my birthday and it's been radio silent (from them). What's wrong with me? What do you call someone who cares about others but nobody cares about them? Thx

Hi SuperInvisible,

Welcome to the forum and happy birthday to you

Hello and Thanks alot Philonoe!

I've only just spotted your post- a belated Happy Birthday to you.

Apart from family, I've largely stopped messaging those who can't be bothered replying. Or acknowledge my birthday in return. I did hurt to let that go- with some people more than others. Those people I did distance myself from, the relationship wasn't really healthy anyway- there was a much bigger picture than lack of birthday wishes.

My older neighbour and I give each other a small gift on birthdays, but she's the only other one I do it for these days. We are often helping each other out with things- it's as much a thankyou as a birthday wish.

SuperInvisible wrote:What's wrong with me? What do you call someone who cares about others but nobody cares about them?

Kind-hearted and underappreciated. Nothing wrong with you.

Happy belated birthday and I also guess nothing wrong with you... some folks just aren't mindful. I myself can't hardly remember birthdays except the ones for which I'd get in serious trouble over forgetting: fear is a great motivator. Maybe you've the misfortune of knowing people like me. But to be fair to myself, I honestly could care less about my own birthday- the advantage in that ofc being that I don't feel slighted if it's not acknowledged. My partner insists on celebrating it with friends but I'd be just fine if we didn't have a get together. It's nice to be told 'Happy Birthday' in passing but ehh it's really just another day for me. If I lived alone I might not even think about it at all.

Some folks place a lot of importance on it- my partner is one of those; some don't- and that's me. I know firsthand how much of a personality clash it can cause, so I sympathise with your position on it- you've acknowledged theirs- why can't they do the same?

Ah I understand!! I appreciate the advice and understanding Lilyfairy and Snaga.