Issues with Sex for Children of an ASPD Parent

I am not sure if this is the appropriate forum to post this, but I am hoping someone can point me to where I can get some additional information on how the pathological behavior (e.g., lack of empathy) of an ASPD Parent impacts the sexuality of a child.

My Father suffers from ASPD so I have always had major issues with intimacy.

I was molested for a brief spell at a young age , and have always had major issues in regard to sex. Looking back, I am trying to understand how the two sets of issues intertwine, and it dawns on me that I may have issues with sex simply because of my Father.

I do not enjoy being physically close, and in the case of sex, it can be intolerable.

Anyone know where I can get more information on this topic?

A frequent observation in child molestation cases is that a parent failed to protect the child or did not believe the child's story of being molested. This creates trust issues for the child and can transfer to intimate partners in adulthood. Whether this had to do with your father's lack of empathy due to AsPD I can't say. Some parents are clueless to what constitutes sexual abuse of a child. They may have been abused themselves as young children, so they don't know what is "normal" and assume sexual abuse is par for the course, which is really not.

For starters, Millon's books can give you a basic understanding about AsPD traits and how pwAsPD view others in their lives. Finding any connection between your intimacy issues and your father's pathological behavior is something you can also discuss with a therapist, if you see one.

I'd suggest visiting a therapist.

Survivors of child sexual abuse (aka molestation etc.) often either develop hypersexuality or revulsion towards sexuality.

On top of that, Cluster B PD parents (ASPD, NPD, BPD, HPD) all have great potential to cause attachment disorders or insecure attachments in their offspring.

I believe there is a child sexual abuse forum on this site; you might want to check that out too.

DaturaInnoxia wrote:Survivors of child sexual abuse (aka molestation etc.) often either develop hypersexuality or revulsion towards sexuality.

On top of that, Cluster B PD parents (ASPD, NPD, BPD, HPD) all have great potential to cause attachment disorders or insecure attachments in their offspring.

Thank you Dat, indeed right on.

Thank you for the replies everyone.

I do see a Therapist, who told me the question was so specific that I'd likely have to find a research paper on it. That being said, we did begin to delve into the impact of my Father's sociopathy on my sexuality, with the understand that there was likely to be a lot of crossover to the impact of the molestation.

I definitely have an issue with Attachment and avoid Sex. As for revulsion.... thank you for giving me something to think about. The details of answering that question may just be the difference.

Thanks again!

Hey aubesu2,

I think you must first make a choice, do you want to focus on how you have been hurt, or to try and understand why your abuser did so. These are very different points of view. They are not in congruent in the long run, but perhaps it's time to stop trying to understand AsPD for a while, and just focus on you for now.

Thanks… I don’t know if I quite think of it in those terms, but I think my path leads to the same place.

I think the Trauma is really about my response to events/behavior to which I was subjected. My response to molestation induced a certain pathology in me, as did my response to my Father’s AsPD.

I have identified my pathology in finer grained terms and am now unwinding what I have identified so that I can know what specific pathology of mine was induced by which specific events of molestation or AsPD behaviors of my Father.

Now, why I was molested and why my Father has his AsPD are definitely related questions, but my focus is just on uncovering the specific “lies” that I created to protect myself and that induced my own pathology. Knowing the specific events/behaviors that motivated me to reinforce or originate those lies allows me to replace those lies with the plain, simple, honest truth.

And that for me, although at times harsh, is very healing.

Hey aubesu2 »

I don't want to presume I understand what you are going through and hopeful our female members here can provide some support for you.

The only thing that comes to my mind is a general quandary people who have been abused struggle with.

We want to understand the motives of our abuser, maybe then it will make sense. But there is also a place for just you to feel what you feel, without understanding why/what/reasons.

Wishing you the best,
xdude

I just re-read your response after almost two years, and I think I finally get what you mean- and it *is* difficult. Sitting with those emotions is tough, but I see so much more clearly the benefits of doing so and am learning to do it better each day.

Definitely easier to look outside than deal inside.

Thank you for the advice.