My friend fakes illnesses - how do I respond?

Hello everyone,

I am writing regarding a dilemma concerning a friend that I am feeling unsure of how to deal with, and I would be very grateful for any advice.
My friend for 20 years has been diagnosed with BPD - she has her fair share of problems, but has many kind and endearing qualities that I treasure. To make a long story short, in recent years she has been increasingly focused on illnesses, doctors, and medical examinations. She sees doctors for (imagined) illnesses several times a week, visits the ER every weekend due to some alleged medical emergency, etc. Honestly, I almost can't think of any disease which she has not claimed having. This apparent concern for her health is, in my book, in stark contrast to that she smokes two packs of cigarettes a day, is very over-weight and never exercises, but, apparently, what this can and will do to her health in time (she's 40 now) does not concern her.

Every time my spouse and I go on a holiday her alleged medical problems seem to escalate. When we were away a week ago I got a text message from her saying that she didn't want to scare me, but that she was very sure she had tongue cancer and would go in for an emergency check-up. (Turns out that she did not have cancer, surprise, surprise.) I am really tired of having to get messages or being called about her having some kind of lethal condition every time I go away - I know that it is likely due to her being in pain and finding my absence painful, but I also feel bullied by it.

I know from experience that she likes texting and that it often seems to be a good way for her to discuss difficult issues, so I texted her saying that I was concerned for her, but not about the cancer scare, but about whether she felt that she needed to create these emergencies in order for me to pay attention to her? I really, really tried to phrase it in a kind and loving tone. She got really, really mad and responded that this was absolutely not what she was doing and that my reply made her very sad.

Honestly, I don't know what to do. I am absolutely sure that she is faking these conditions for attention, but I also know that this is likely not something she is doing in order to hurt me or others, but that it is born out of some inner need. I would like to save our friendship, but I also feel the need to acknowledge my own feeling of being manipulated. Any ideas or advice on how to improve this situation would be greatly valued - thanks so much in advance!