Am I dealing with a narc here ?

I’ve come here for support / clarification and to be honest to help myself from feeling like I’m the only one that can see this serious behaviour.
My father in law is a dangerous man in my eyes. My husband is one of 3 children (two sisters ) from a broken family. My mother in law is a brilliant lady but is quite an alcoholic. She is a great grandma and great mum and I enjoy her company. My father in law is whole different ballgame. He is a self made millionaire who had multiple affairs before leaving my MIL. This common knowledge within the family. He now has a girlfriend , also an alcoholic and drug taker (he himself uses cocaine regularly). They have a very stormy relationship , she threatens suicide and they have threesomes (she calls the family up to tell us about it) and he continues to cheat on her and is always in contact with several other women. He has all his children working for the family business including my two brother in laws (I’m the only one not involved) and he rings them constantly (my husband like 8 times a day). When I met my husband he was in a bad way , he took drugs and drank to excess ... I turned him around and we now have 3 kids together and a lovely life. My husband loves his work (building) and doesn’t work directly with my FIL in the office, if he did if sure he’d be gone by now. But he has a very difficult relationship with his dad. He can’t stand to speak with him away from work and doesn’t enjoy his company away from work either.
After reading up on Narcs I’ve realised my husband is ‘the scapegoat’ , the FIL thinks he’s trouble and blames him first in every situation. He tells my husband they look more like brothers than father and son and he will never congratulate him when my husband has done something well or saved the company money.
My husbands older sister is also quite an emotional mess , she has anxiety issues and weight issues (FIL tells her she’s fat ) and also general issues trusting men (jealousy and possessiveness). She had a cardiac arrest at her younger sisters wedding last year and i would lay my life on it that it was because of all the stress my FIL and ‘the golden child’ put on her in the arrangement of the seventy thousand pound wedding. She was crying on a daily basis where so much pressure was being put on her.
The golden child is the youngest sister , she is put on a pedestal by the whole family and has everything done for her - washing , cooking and childcare. She isn’t very nice generally but I do try to get along with her for our children’s sake. She’s demanding and difficult and does everything FIL wants as does her partner.
I look at the chaos around my FIL and wonder how he’s got away with his destructive behaviour for so long. All around him are women with all kind of issues and my husband has been part of this in the past until we got together. I’m now going NC with this man after some issues surrounding the wedding where he sent his mother round to my house to inform me of all the bad things my husband did before he met me. All in front of our daughter - a baby but still unacceptable.
I can’t tolerate this man for one second now and it angers me how so many people think he’s such an amazing person when I know he’s rotten to the core.
Am I right in thinking he’s at the root of so many family issues ?

Hey Mrsbrightside,

We really cannot diagnose here, so all you'll get is guesses.

That written, I have read many times before that some highly narcissistic parents do divide their children into the favored one, and the others. Ironically, the 'favored one' can end up worse off for it in the long run.

I think the main thing for you is that it's fine to trust your intuition. In dysfunctional families there often is a key instigator, but also, you'll never get the full truth of what happened or what is happening. Instigators don't see it that way, and the children have their judgement clouded too.