BD love avoidant and fantasies.

Hi, I myself am not sure if I am BD or bipolar. My love is BD. I have one question I need help from the BD people. After his divorce, he is love avoidant. He lives in fantasies of fakes and we have a long distance relationship. He spies me the whole day but often mistreats me or enters the silent mood. I know him and even we met twice personally for 7 years and some months now. For the past two years, cos I always loved him, he is talking to me thru fakes. How can I do to him to talk to me again as himself? I also broke his trust in a point, not betrayal with another man. I was his caregiver, but when I gained the whole of his love now his caregiver is a bad female friend that loves him and he doesn't love her and she puts him against me, she dominates him. Now he lives alone, everybody left him. He is afraid she leaves and I leave him too. I don't know how to defend myself anymore of this evil friend and what to do to him to speak with me normally and not to hide behind fakes. I was supposed to go to see him and then solve all this and it would, but I had a problem here with my sick mom. Then I offered him money to come, but he doesn't. He is afraid somehow. What can I do? I appreciate all non judgemental possible comments. Thanks. I read about BDPD for six years. He knows now he has it, but he doesn't look for help. to convince him is too difficult. I know he has debts, but I offered myself to pay therapy or remedies. And no answer as always about it.
And he talks to me about stories like if he were other people and posted that it is to supply what he doesn't have in real life, I don't think he really believes those stories, or he does?