The game of jealousy of cluster b

Some thoughts -

I'm going to replace 'jealousy' with 'anger', because anger can be written about without sexual connotation, and sexual connotation has a way of triggering primal/instinctual emotions when discussed.

So some passive aggressive personality types have a pattern of doing things that -

1.) Anger a partner (or others) because the actions are aggressive, and...
2.) Done in a way that they can deny responsibility, the 'who me? I was just [fill in the blank]'

The passive aggressive type does get something out of this. One possible thing they may get (though there are other reasons), is if the partner reacts with anger, it's proof that the partner is emotionally involved. If that is a core motivation, and the partner doesn't react, proof the partner doesn't care.

The problem for the partner is there is no win possible.

If the partner reacts in an angry way, the passive aggressive type gets what they wanted, and so is reinforced, and more likely to repeat.

If the partner doesn't react, the passive aggressive type has the option of trying again, upping the ante, because why not? Apparently the previous attempt was 'A-OK', so they did nothing wrong, or at least not wrong enough to avoid repeating.

Unfortunately this is not a perfect comparison, unless the passive aggressive type also seeks out others (i.e., triangulation) who perceive the PA type as a victim, and sympathizes. Those who think 'How can you be angry with him/her? He/She is passive, not the type to hurt others, not someone to be angry at'

Again though no win is possible, because sympathizers really do believe they mean well, and haven't seen the aggressive side, only the passive opener. There is no talking them out of this belief, and until/if they are more deeply involved, they won't see that aggressive side either.

^ Very insightful xdude imo

Someone did this to me recently. They wanted me to feel unworthy. They all but admitted it in the aftermath. And the reason they did it was because my reaction would make them feel powerful in some way. They were aiming for an emotional reaction from me. That is most likely the only reason they did it.

They did get it. But in a way it backfired because I am aware of the game. Next time I will probably be less susceptible to it.

Its a manipulation and thats it. It works but if you build up your defenses its less likely to work. It can be a lot like a poker game when interacting with cluster Bs. Keep a poker face and hide your cards.