I'm pretty sure my mom has DD or schizophrenia

Hello,

When I was 15, my mom admitted to us that she was convinced that the government was spying on her (she had worked for different ministries at the government). A year later my parents got separated. It was a hard time for us. Being a teenager at the time I think the situation only made things harder for me growing up. Although she had just told us about this surveillance that was going on, my dad told us that she had been talking about this for years before.

10 years have passed since. I moved to different cities either for studies or for work. I guess somewhere inside me I knew I didn't want to live near my parents. I hardly have any contact with my mom now a days and she hardly gets out of the house and has no phone nor TV. She doesn't trust the news and about 4 years ago she admitted to us that she doesn't trust us anymore. From my understanding we were the last ones she still had trust in.

Recently her sister passed away and her family tried to contact her multiple times but she didn't respond in did not show up at the funeral. She doesn't believe it really happened. Every now and then the only news I get from her are stories that she writes. They are supposed to be fictional but it is clear to me and my sisters that she is talking about the family and the main character is always her. I find it hard to read them, because I see how she perceives us and there is so much judgement. I feel like I have been lied to for a good part of my life and have difficulty trusting her seeing that she didn't trust me even before she told us she didn't trust us.

I really don't know what to do in this situation. I am in my mid 20s and trying to live my life. I never know if I should try to forget about her since she has been lying to me for so long or should I try to get back in touch with her. I find it such a sad situation that she only feels confortable living as a hermit. We tried to convince her to go to the hospital with us. That's when she told us to leave. She isn't violent so I was told the police here can't do anything about it.

She is undiagnosed therefore I don't know if this is schizophrenia or DD, but I know that this is affecting her and the rest of the family.

Here's a list of things she believes:
- streetlights have hidden cameras in them
- there were microphones in the house I grew up in
- her parents knew about the surveillance and were reporting to them possibly unwillingly
- we, the children were aware of it as well
- people in the street or in the office were talking about her
- everybody is inherently is nice, but something is compelling them to do bad things
- the source of this wrong use to be the government, now she thinks its her mother
- news anchors and reporters are actors
- ... there are more but I forget them

She is very smart (she's a mathematician) and has always trusted her opinion over others' so it is so hard to try to disprove to her.

Thank you

Macster wrote:She is undiagnosed therefore I don't know if this is schizophrenia or DD...

She could have Paranoid Schizophrenia, Delusional Disorder (DD) or Paranoid Personality Disorder (PPD). You don't mention any specific Schizophrenic symptoms (psychotic episodes etc) although she definitely sounds paranoid/delusional.

As for helping her the only thing I can think of is to get her to seek help. My guess is that she won't go for that.

Macster wrote:She is very smart (she's a mathematician)...

FYI John Forbes Nash, Jr. the famous mathematician. who died earlier this year, had Paranoid Schizophrenia.

If she had something as debilitating as schizophrenia it would have been diagnosed at some point. She would have ended up in a psych hospital at some point. It sounds more like the other things the other poster suggested.

Correct me if I'm wrong here, but I've read a number of sources on schizophrenia saying that hearing voices and psychotic episodes (breaks from reality) are more common with this disorder. Yes, there are some delusions, but usually accompanied with hearing of voices in one's head and the psychotic episodes.

No one can diagnose on this forum, but my guesses lean more toward paranoid personality disorder (PPD) or Delusional Disorder since there is no OP mention of her mother experiencing psychotic episodes or hearing voices in one's head. The only way to know for sure is to obtain a diagnosis, which is almost impossible to get for a person with either disorder unfortunately.

Too often, it takes a major health issue or hitting rock bottom before such an individual will end up in a hospital, in which case the family can get a mental evaluation done by a qualified psychiatrist and obtain necessary and vital mental health treatment for her. Until then, it seems your hands are tied.

In the meantime, work on healing yourself-- it must be traumatic to find that your mother doesn't trust you and your sibs, it's like a kind of parental abandonment. Therapy can help you deal with those issues and also on how to deal with your mother, now and further down the road. Of course, I respect ppl have many conflicts, besides a difficult parental one, going on in their busy lives and have either financial or time constraints. It's up to you, you can continue on the course you've taken, but it will take a far longer healing if you choose to put the therapy off. All the best to you.

It's sad to hear this story, I'm sorry for your pain, and sorry to hear about the situation your mother is in. While we aren't supposed to pre diagnose, it would be great if your mother could see some combination of a psychologist, psychiatrist, and maybe also a neurologist. A lot of the things your mother has done no doubt are very hurtful, though in her state of mind it is possible she doesn't realize what she is doing, as you seem to have surmised. My prayers go out to you and your family, this is the sort of power mental illness can have in our world today, and so many people are ignorant to the pain it can cause.

I hope you can rekindle a relationship with your mother now. Even despite the things you have lost, it might be great for both of you if you can get to a better place.