Breakup advice (BPD?)

***moving this post to significant others, family & friends***

So I had met this beautiful charming girl at a mutual friend’s wedding. We had a great time and long story short we got dunk and hooked up. The catch is I was living in Philadelphia and she was in Orange County, California and on top of that I was in a relationship is a manic depressive bipolar who was heavily medicated. I was thinking about moving back to Cali and did a month after this meeting. She was so exciting and as soon as arrived back in Cali, where I am original from, we got into a relationship. There were issues from the start, her ego and narcissism started to bother me right from the beginning. We quickly started fighting once a week or so from the start of the relationship. When the times were good they were better than any drug, and I have experienced a few.

She was chatting with two guys and they would post on her Facebook walls and this bothered me. I don’t get jealous but there was a line was being crossed. I confronted her about it and it became a fight, and during this fight one of them texted her that she was with him. Well she said she cut him off, and I think she did. This other guy I think she hide it from me, because now they are a couple. This guy, from what I am told, is a lot like me but a slave version. He was described if I am a 10 then he is a 5. It seems weird but it seems like she continued our relationship with him because they started dating around 1 ½ months after we broke up, he even grew facial hair like mine. She even said a week before we broke up that she wanted to marry me. At the time of the split I had been thinking of asking her Dad for her hand. Right before we broke, I told her to take a weekend to think about a list of things that had been troubling me, which turned out to almost being all BPD symptoms, and she called me to tell me she was in Urgent Care for a stomach issue and was trying to get me to go to her without saying it. She was out within an hour or so, which I thought was strange and I think she was lying to me about it.

The reason for this post is I figured out she has BPD around the time she started dating this guy. I came to this by finding an article on Huffington Post “11 Red flags you are dating a sociopath.” So I told this to my councilor and she asked me if I had heard about BPD. I said no and she listed the 11 criteria for BPD and this girl nailed 9 of them. Even the examples were like transcripts from fights that we had. So I did my own research and found a lot of information but one really made a lot of sense to me, as if it was written for me.
http://gettinbetter.com/anycost.html

Now here is the real troubling part. I do not want her back. It has been 3 ½ months and I don’t want to go back to the constant reassurance of loving her, or that she is pretty, or making me feel like a bad person, or that I failed her. I don’t want to hear that she, “has to lower her expectations of me.” But I am depressed and sad at losing someone. I still think of her all the time, and I can’t sleep, I lost my appetite as soon as it happened. I have been having panic attacks and depression and have started taking medications for them.

Any advice?