My brother's diagnosis?

I have recently been more concerned about my brother's lifestyle than ever before. He just turned 27, and what seemed to be a "phase" in his early 20's is turning into a way of life for him. I am wondering if anyone can help me figure out if he has a mental illness, and if so, what it might be.

First of all, he has never had a girlfriend and as far as I know he is still a virgin. He lives in a really gross part of town that only consists of low-income earners & drug addicts where he recently moved into a house with 3 other men. He lives in a room where a man who just died from Hepatitis A used to live. He was "friends" with this man and used to roll joints for him because his Hep A would cause his hands to shake and prevented him from being able to do so. From the sounds of it, this guy must have abused drugs because sharing needles is one fantastic way of getting Hep A. My brother has always had a limited amount of friends/relationships. Since the beginning of high school he has had one close friend who has been around for the last 15 years, and is still his only real and valuable friend. I know that he was made fun of in high school from time to time, but how much I don't really know. I'm sure this would have an affect on his self-esteem.

My brother has a hard time maintaining his relationships with people and has missed special occasions in the past, including my dad's birthday, Christmas, father's day, my mom's birthday, my son's birthday, thanksgiving, because he didn't feel like going or he was too lazy. As you can imagine, this is hurtful to those involved, and whether or not he feels remorse, I don't know but he certainly does not apologize for it.

Ever since my brother was young, he has been active and intelligent, functioning like a normal child, except for the fact that he always hated being the center of attention. It's not like he was someone who didn't particularly enjoy having all eyes on him - he HATED it - as if he felt like everyone would be analyzing him and judging him the whole time. As he has grown older, he has had this complex that people are against him, and everyone should accept him the way he is. He doesn't think he should do anything that society wants of us as people, including showering, dressing appropriately, brushing your teeth or paying $10,000 of debt in income tax.

My brother smoked A LOT of pot starting in his early teens - early twenties. I think he smokes less pot now, but still enough to affect his behavior. He has also experimented with recreational drugs, but as far as I know it hasn't happened very often. He also has very poor hygiene, dresses like a homeless man, and wears a long beard that he never grooms. It's fine if you want to have your own personal style, but you should at least clean yourself up so that people aren't afraid of you. Every time I am in public with him I get dirty looks, because people wonder what I would be doing hanging out with a homeless man. He spends hours and hours every night playing video games and often doesn't go to bed until 6 in the morning. In conversations with him, he recounts what happens in these video games in regular conversation and talks about it as if this is normal and should just be a part of every day conversation.

One positive thing about my brother's life right now is that thankfully he has a job. He does floor laying, but he has told me recently that he has called in sick about 8 times in 2 weeks because he was up late playing video games. I'm just getting more and more worried, and I feel like I'm just waiting for the day when he starts doing hard drugs or living on the streets, or both.

I understand that no one can technically diagnose him properly, but does anyone have any insight as to what this MAY be?

[quote="littlearcher":#######1]hello natalie,
it sounds like you are uncomfortable with your brother's lifestyle and his choices. i wonder, have you ever addressed any of those concerns with him? is he happy or content with his life?

none of us are on this site in a professional capacity so no one can accurately diagnose another person (especially not online or through a secondhand account).

but, perhaps it might be helpful to talk things out a bit more with us.

welcome to the forum![/quote:#######1]

Thanks, I should have mentioned that. I definitely understand that there is likely no one here who is a medical professional, and you can't give a proper diagnosis without doing a series of tests. But I would just appreciate some insight into the situation, perhaps from someone going through a similar situation with a loved one.

Also, to answer your question, he may be convincing himself that he his happy with his life, but truthfully, he is exhibiting behavior that is harmful to him and is putting his relationships and career at stake. It's not about me being uncomfortable, it's about his well being.