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Keeping safe, healthy and strong if you're a non

Forum for significant others, family and friends of people with mental illness to discuss relevant issues they face.
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This is a support forum for the family, partners and friends of those with mental health issues. This forum is intended to be a safe place to discuss information, give and receive support and learn about all the issues related to being involved with a person with a disorder. Whilst it can be healthy to express various emotions, please remember to be respectful about the disorder itself. This is a place for constructive discussions, not a venting forum.

The issues experienced by the significant others of those with disorders cannot always be discussed in the other parts of the site in a way that does not trigger those with disorders. Moderators may therefore move threads from other forums into this one at their discretion.

Re: Keeping safe, healthy and strong if you're a non

Postby southside420 » Fri Mar 02, 2018 11:56 pm

xdude wrote:Hey southside,

Good to read you are in a better place.

She chose her friends, and she made her choices. Toxic? Yep, but that is what she chose, and she is not just a pure victim of her choices. No doubt she was given plenty of advice over and over, how to get her life together, and still she chose to screw it up.

There really is nothing you can do about that, whether she has chosen to be a brat, an emotional mess, a victim, to not grow up, or just to be disagreeable, she chose to screw her life up.

Whatever her reasons were/are, she knows everything that is knowable, and still she chooses to screw it up, so there really is nothing you can do.

p.s., you can take BPD out of the picture, and replace with Anti-Social Personality Disorder, a disorder that tends to be attributed to males. Notice something? No matter how much info they have, some of them still choose to screw their lives up and others. In fact the more info they have, the more they dig in their heals, I am not going to change ever, don't tell me what to do, and I am going to screw it up so get over it.

p.s.s some think BPD and AsPD are related, just a role different version of the same thing.

At some point you just got to go whatever, you chose this, and that is that, but I am not going to go down with you.


She didn’t choose her friends. I left her. I couldn’t handle what she was doing anymore and it took me leaving for her to be diagnosed. But I am struggling with getting back with her due to the risk I view her as. My family and friends are afraid of her. They’ve seen what she’s capable of doing to me. I’ve lived it.

I wish I could be there and support her through her treatment, but I don’t feel she’s taking it seriously. She still blames me for her suicide attempts, blames me for not doing enough. She wanted to meet soon to talk but still wanted me to admit my faults were worse than hers (not saving her during suicide). I felt meeting wouldn’t work out. I will discuss with my therapist ultimately though.

I just don’t like she’s insisting on dating someone else if I don’t meet her soon. If she loved me as she says she does, why insist on such a timeline? Why be desperate to date others? Doesn’t make sense to me. I’m certainky not dating at the moment.
southside420
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