want to date bipolar girl, please advise.

Met a girl online last week. She is 31, 5 years older than me, I'm 26.

I am very inexperienced in relationships, never been in any kind of relationship before, but I am in a good place in life right now, and am looking for and ready for a serious relationship. My main issues have been serious anxiety disorders all my life, including social anxiety, where I have a difficult time interacting. But I have made vast improvement in the last couple years, and I feel I have a strong understanding of what it means to not be in control of your emotions and to be forced to act irrationally

I am kind of odd in this way, and feel like my conversational ability matches well with those I've known with bipolar. I easily follow the constant jumping of topics, and create my own meaning out of some of the craziness which is very special to me.

I met this girl online, and have been on one date. and she told me she had bipolar. She told me she takes at least 2 meds for it. However, She expressed herself to me as if she is already in love with me as soon as we met; she was very physical, could not keep her hands off me, kissing me on the lips within 5 minutes of meeting.

Since we went out, she says we are boyfriend and girlfriend, she already tells me she wants to move in with me in time, and that she believes we will get married. She sends me messages, calls, and texts around the clock. Quite over the top, and I don't know the best way to respond, and how to handle her expression towards me in a positive relationship building way. I really want to get to know this girl as a person, and understand her the best I can, and move toward a long term relationship and see what happens.

She lives with family, works part-time, doesn't seem to have any friends or social circle outside of family.

Is this relationship possible??, I am willing to assume the risks, and make a serious go at it, how do I proceed?, I know very little about bipolar, so what do I do when she goes into a depression? How difficult is this going to be?

nobody wants to 'pee on your campfire' here. bipolar people tend to have a difficult time maintaining a meaningful relationship outside of family, and inside for that matter. your description of her seems to indicate that she is manic right now. in that state, some bipolars are litterally the life of the party. it appears that you are allready aware that this state does not last for ever, and that eventually she will get depressed. it takes a strong friend to endure that for long, so hang on tight.

when she is depressed, support and understanding is about all you can do. she has to take responsability for her own treatment programme. you can encourage her to get into and stay in some sort of treatment regimen: ie. meds, therapy. (i say treatment, because as you probably allready know, there is no real "cure" for bipolar disorder.) you can observe and record her mood and behaviors which she may be unaware of or in denial of as long as you are not doing it in the least bit critical way. also, if she has a problem making and keeping appointments, maybee even offer to give her a ride to see the doc.

best of luck to ya!

Yea it sounds like she is in hypo mania state, basically "a party I want to do it all " kinda mood. But after the mania she might crash and she would be totally the opposite, depressed and sad for some time, and you really have to be patient and be there for her, if you have that kinda of dedications then I would say go for it.. I would also try and talk to her about Bipolar, and do some research online.
But I think over all, its a good idea to date someone that has similar problems or have gone through some kinda struggle with mental illness. I think the relationship can really bond sense you can understand her, and vise versa..

I'm leaving the speculation about her mental state out of the discussion and focusing on her behavior and plans for your life together after one date,

Run like hell.
She's a nutcase and I can see nothing positive coming from this relationship.
When you drop her, she's going to fight like hell to keep it going.
But don't back down.
She is bad news.

A pretty blunt assessment I know, but I want you to understand how I see your situation.

Take care.

skilsaw wrote:I'm leaving the speculation about her mental state out of the discussion and focusing on her behavior and plans for your life together after one date,

Run like hell.
She's a nutcase and I can see nothing positive coming from this relationship.
When you drop her, she's going to fight like hell to keep it going.
But don't back down.
She is bad news.

A pretty blunt assessment I know, but I want you to understand how I see your situation.

Take care.

Lol your saying shes a nutcase on a Bipolar forum, that is kinda blunt.. Everyone has a manic episode, unless your one of those " normal people ".. And I cant see why people cant give someone a change or atleast see if its going to work or not,

skilsaw wrote:I'm leaving the speculation about her mental state out of the discussion and focusing on her behavior and plans for your life together after one date,

Run like hell.
She's a nutcase and I can see nothing positive coming from this relationship.
When you drop her, she's going to fight like hell to keep it going.
But don't back down.
She is bad news.

A pretty blunt assessment I know, but I want you to understand how I see your situation.

Take care.

I'm very interested why you have such a negative reaction to this.

We will have another date on friday, and so far I have really enjoyed getting to know her, and honestly it has been a great week, and I have loved all my conversation with her so far.

As far as her planning our life together, it doesn't seem too strange, she seems to just be expressing her thoughts as she feels them, as I know I have had similar thoughts after one date before in the past.

To me its just her expression of what's on her mind; and I know her mind may change in very dramatic ways perhaps, but are you saying that some sort of love is not possible here? Maybe it can never be a "normal" relationship, but that doesn't mean there could not be great value here for both of us??

You say nothing positive can come of it?? I feel I've already become a better person just knowing her a week. Difference experiences affect people in different ways, it is a process of discovery. There are more possibilities in life than what is considered "normal" or "happiness"

But I take your caution, and perhaps very "bad" things will come if I continue this, and I would love to here your experience of what I should watch out for, and what I should be prepared for. Thanks for your response.

I am bipolar 1. I have never wanted to marry anyone after the first date.

I have been very attracted to them after the first date. I have wanted to have sex after the first date. And I have used the term "love at first site" after the first date.

I was very attracted to someone and grew to love them. I admit to saying I loved them too early and regret that. At that point it was only lust. I was hypomanic at the time. As I grew to know them, I did grow to love them in a more meaningful way.

I don't date anymore because i feel unstable.

It does take a special someone to handle a bipolar's mood swings.

I probably do not act loving when depressed. The person would have to know inside that the depression is temporary and It won't last forever.

Do you think you could handle that kind of moodiness?

skilsaw wrote:I'm leaving the speculation about her mental state out of the discussion and focusing on her behavior and plans for your life together after one date,

Run like hell.
She's a nutcase and I can see nothing positive coming from this relationship.
When you drop her, she's going to fight like hell to keep it going.
But don't back down.
She is bad news.

A pretty blunt assessment I know, but I want you to understand how I see your situation.

Take care.

I love your honesty lol.

Just follow your own instincts. No one can advise you who you should and shouldn't date. I don't think you should be influenced by other peoples oppinions to be honest. If I did that I'd have dumped my husband years ago and we've been married 20yrs now (happily). Dating for anyone is a learning curb and you're not going in with your eyes closed so keep an open mind and be mindful of her and your feelings and just enjoy each other while it lasts be that 2 months, 2years or eternity

Hey

Hope this finds you well

I am moving this to the Significant Others, Family & Friends forum but leaving a shadow topic here so you have the benefit of replies from both forums

Hope things work out for you whatever you decide to do

Cracked

Hi mjs...
My previous answer got some laughs. Here is a more thoughtful reply:

How you describe her:
- She expressed herself to me as if she is already in love with me as soon as we met;
- she was very physical, could not keep her hands off me, kissing me on the lips within 5 minutes of meeting.
- Since we went out, she says we are boyfriend and girlfriend,
- she already tells me she wants to move in with me in time, and that
- she believes we will get married.
- She sends me messages, calls, and texts around the clock.
- Quite over the top,
As I see it, Maybe she is manic or hypomanic right now. That would be the good news. The bad news could be that she is very immature and not ready for a serious relationship, no matter how grown up she thinks she is.

You are a sincere young man looking for a meaningful relationship that develops normally over time.
Here is what you say about yourself:
- I don't know the best way to respond, and
- how to handle her expression towards me in a positive relationship building way

Since you've planned a second date, keep it neutral. See a movie, or have a dinner in a well lit restaurant. Tell her that she comes on strongly and that you don't know the best way to respond. Tell her you want to take it a bit slower and get to know her gradually. If she can't respect your wishes, then gently back off. Tell her you are not ready for such an intense relationship.

Take care.