Does history always repeat itself? (HPD)

Hi everybody,
Interesting question for the group today. Would like to the perspectives of HPDs and NONs as well if I could.
After going through several cycles of friendly contact and then no contact with my HPD friend I'm at a point where I'd like to maintain the friendly phase that we're in now. Problem is I feel like I'm walking on eggshells with her all the time and that if I say or do the wrong thing she'll go No Contact on me again. Even minor, seemingly trivial things can trigger these no contact events. I'd like to talk to her about this, but any conversation that has that kind of depth to it seems to trigger a pattern of avoidance, limited contact or no contact.
So, what I've been doing lately is backing off when needed so as not to trigger any negative reactions.
This has been OK, but I feel like more of an acquaintance much of the time when I'd like to be more of a friend.
What do you guys think? Is there a way to do this or is this just the dilemma of trying to be friends with an HPD type person?

The push pull scenario must be really infuriating at times for you nons! Sometimes it can arise as a result of a BPD like fear of engulfment/abandonment.

It might be best to back off a little sometimes and not be so readily available when she pulls back. Fill your life with other interesting things, letting her know that you're there for her if she really needs you. It seems as if she is calling all the shots and you'll need to be calmly assertive. You'll need to find ways to show her that you're not into games, and prefer your dealings with her to be straightforward. Do you think straight talking would work in this case?

Thanks Masquerade for your insightful reply.

You're right - the push-pull behavior can be infuriating, especially for someone like me who has trouble dealing with "gray" areas. I like to know where I stand with someone and it's really hard to tell with this person.

I've tried being unavailable at times and it helps somewhat but there is a constant struggle between wanting to be with her and trying to avoid her. It's not real easy to do.

Straight talking and being straightforward seems to piss her off for some reason. It's like she doesn't want to deal with the negative aspect of anything and will only talk about shallow, positive or fun things.
Any serious conversation about us is taboo. I do think she realizes now that I'm not into games however.

Thanks again for your reply - it is much appreciated