Could my ex be bipolar? Please, please help me.

Hi, all. I know that a BP person can only be diagnosed by a medical professional, but please help me. I'm feeling very low and and lost and confused right now, in desperate need of some sort of answer or guidance.
My ex-GF and I dated for almost a year. It started out as a mutual crush, and when I asked her out, things quickly became romantic. We had an instant connection and within 3 months we began to "love" each other. We were in bliss.

Things were not perfect, though. She was always a little moodier than the average person. Around the 1 month mark, we had a fight because I was upset with how she treated me while drunk. She said something along the lines of, "I don't know if I want to be in a relationship because I don't want to be responsible for someone else's feelings." However, she quickly apologized.

She would have huge mood swings. She would go from a sweet goofy girl, to a vicious, hateful (her description) woman who blamed everyone else for her stress. She also suffered from anxiety. However, she's also a hypochondriac. She refuses to see doctors, and refuses to even research her own health issues, including her depression.

She had just graduated from College. Throughout the first 6 months, we were crazy about each other. Everyone else could tell we were in love. We were the young couple that made everyone else feel warm and fuzzy, because of how sweet we were together.

Throughout our relationship, her ex was always in the background. They dated off and on, but never had sex. According to her, he's an undiagnosed BP alcoholic, but also a really sweet sensitive guy. It took 2 months for her to tell him about me, because she didn't want to break his heart.

He seemed to be respectful of us, but still hung around. Our 2nd big fight occured when I objected to her having plans to get drinks with him, alone. She was very upset and mean about it, but I stood my ground. Months later, she said that her previous BF was controlling about her spending time with him and this made her extra-defensive and I believed her.

About 4/5 months in, we had a little mishap, and she got a bacterial infection (gardnarella) in her vagina. She, and the rest of her family, are major hypochondriacs, and she refused to see a doctor. Eventually, she was in so much pain that I managed to get her into a clinic. They treated her with antiobiotics and the infection cleared up.

For the next few months, things were wonderful. We were so happy and so content. However, in October, her cousin died. They had been close in childhood, but became estranged. Her cousin had major health issues (possibly mental health issues as well), and turned to hard drugs. She treated the family horribly, and became the "crazy one." Still, the death hit her hard.

In the same 3 day period, my aunt died. The services were on the same day, and I wasn't able to make it. She was very angry about this. She ignored me. When I finally got her to talk, we fought. She threw it in my face that her ex was there for her but I wasn't. I stood my ground and we apologized to each other. After this, her ex went into a manic state and they stopped talking.

Still, we were in love. We barely fought. But I started to realize that I was doing more and more for her, and she was relying on me to make her happy. We had a fight on Christmas day because she started panicking about seeing my family. She became very snotty toward me. After a long day with her family, I was offended and told her. She stormed away in public, but I calmed her down. The next morning I woke up to a vicious, insulting text. Hours later, though, she was extra sweet ("do you still love me?") This pattern of berating me and then being sweet only hours later is something that occurred throughout our relationship.

In January, she began to change. She was very irritable, rude, and selfish. During this, her infection came back. She refused to talk about it, except to say, "if I can't have kids I'll kill myself." We got her to a clinic (refused to see a GP or Gyno), and they didn't even examine her. Just gave her antibiotics and sent her off.

In the next week, she pulled away. She would hang with everyone but me, including her ex. She accused me of not being fun or and of being mean to her. I tried to be sweet and understanding, but she became like a different person. She hated me and everyone else. She completely ignored me. She started to drink more, and hang out with her ex, but told me that seeing me "would set back the progress I've made." I got very upset. I learned of something terrible that happened to my mother, and she was very sorry, but wouldn't see me because she was "too detached. I'd make it worse."

I got fed up. I asked to see her in the next few days. "Maybe." But she would still see her ex, and all of her other friends. We broke up.

It's been 1 1/2 months. Since then, she's changed completely. I know her infection came back a week after we broke up (I helped calm her down.) She was terrified of being infertile. However, after this she went totally cold toward me. We haven't seen each other since.

She's gone from not wanting to get out of bed, to working 2 dead-end jobs. She's drinking more, and hanging out with people she was literally repulsed by only a few months ago. And she shows me nothing but hate. I've been very sweet with her, but she's shown me nothing but contempt and disrespect. Her family has been nice to me, and her mother even posted a sweet picture of us on Facebook a week ago.

I'm really worried about her, but also very angry with her. We were going to meet up, but she canceled and then asked the next time if we could keep it short, because she was hungover. All of my pent up frustration came out. I told her exactly how much she hurt me. She tried to act like she didn't care, but I know it affected her. I don't feel bad for what I said, but I do feel bad that it's gotten to a point where I felt I HAD to say it.

She has her first Gyno appt. on Tuesday. I'm praying that this gives her peace of mind, and will help her start realizing how much she's hurt me, and the fact that she's heading in a bad direction.

But I still feel she my be bipolar. Her family has a history of mental health issues (suicide, addiction), and she really seems to be running from her problems and self-medicating. As I said, in January she would stay in bed literally all day. 3 months later, she's working 60+ hours and hanging out with losers and drinking to excess. I know that in high school, she suffered from debilitating depression, and missed months of school.

Sorry for the length. This has been building up for months, and I'm a wreck today. Her actions destroyed me, but I still care for her. I still love her. Please, any insight at all would be greatly appreciated.

No one on the forum can diagnose, I'm sorry. Your ex would need to admit that she had a problem and seek advice of her own accord.

I'm wondering who is there for YOU in all of this? I can see your confusion, your sense of loss, and can imagine that you have a million and one questions. Speaking to a therapist might help you to process the emotions that you're going through right now.

The effects of disordered behavior upon the significant others can be quite unique, with many conflicting emotions. On the one hand you love this person, and on the other you feel hurt by the effects of the behavior. Having a safe place to talk about your feelings can be therapeutic.

We now have a new forum for significant others, and I'm moving your thread there, and leaving a shadow thread in Relationships so you can find your thread and get the support of both forums.

There is nothing in this story that is suggestive of bipolar or any other psychiatric disorder. This story just sounds like standard relationship angst and somewhat less than ideal behaviour of average young people.