Problem with erection

I don't know where to begin, so i'll just put it out here.

For about 6 years, i had no girlfriend though i did get laid a couple of times. In 2017 I began feeling pain on my balls, which would only last a few minutes and disappear. At times it would feel like the pain is stretching up to my chest. I never gave it much thought or attention. Around the same time, my sexual urge was high that one time i went to see a doctor to have it lowered down (was just advised to control my thoughts)... and when i couldn't hold it any more i began to masterbate in 2019. I however found masterbation to be grose, as it brought lots of guilty in me. I tried my best to quit and have so far managed to (have done it a few times last year and twice this year).

Last year when the pandemic hit, i got a girlfriend and when i thought it was time for me to experience sex in the best way possible, it turned out i could't erect as much. My erections were distorted. At times i would erect for a few minutes and other times i would go for about an without ejaculation. We can't have sex in the morning as my erection is not there, and even on the rest of the days i only erect for the first round. I feel like there's a disconnect between my mind and penis - sex can be the only thing running in my mind, but the penis fails to collaborate.

This past month of July we stayed apart, as we were on different towns, and when we finally met a few days ago, i couldn't last more than two minutes. This has made her frastrated since day one, even through we've had the conversation severally, and more so recently, that she doesn't want anything that will arouse her only to leave her with frastrations.

I have tried exercises, i quit masterbation and porn. I visited a doctor a few months ago and she recommended a scan. The scan showed everything is okay, so she said i avoid stress - yet that is not the cause. I was prescribed some antibiotics, but still no improvements. My balls still pains every now and then - two weeks ago was the worse, with a whole week of constant pain that went all the way to the chest and made me feel like i have tonsils.

My lack of proper erection is really straining our relationship, and a divide is already emerging. I was to propose to her this year, but she already seems dis-interested and have already initiated the process of relocating abroad. She rarely wants us to meet, since it will always end with her being sexually frastrated. I am begining to lose my confidence, and at times i breakdown since i don't know what is wrong with my body.

Kindly help.

Hello and welcome!

I'm not sure what to say about the pains you feel- I can speak from experience that sometimes back/hip problems can cause pain in the groin, but beyond that, if a scan showed your stuff to be normal, I'm not sure. I might look into back or hip problems, if it were me. I get sciatica sometimes and it can make your balls ache.

As for the erections, I don't know. Erections are a 'use it or lose it' thing, so I've heard- as long as it's not excessively done or in my opinion, hinged too closely in the mind with having to depend on porn to have orgasm- then I've read that some masturbation is healthy.

If you're not having overnight/morning erections, I'm inclined to think something physical- I have erection problems in the presence of partners or other people but it's psychological- even though I am getting old and my erections aren't what they used to be, I still often wake up to find myself erect, more or less. So I know it works- if that's not happening, then again, I'd see more doctors.

If it's just because you're having problems with your g/f and not other times, then all I can say is that once we get it into our heads that we feel pressure to perform, or worry we won't be able to, it's awfully hard to get past that. The times I've managed to, is by managing to get my mind completely off myself- but it's hard, very hard to do.