Need Someone To Talk To

I need help... I'm trapped in what has become an extremely abusive relationship. I love him still. I know this is bad though. He tells me I can't find anyone better than him and, in fact, he is too good for me. He tells me that I should never want to get him in trouble no matter what happens. He tells me I'm a bad mother. He tells me my house is white trash. He tells me I'm a waste of his time. These things run around my head all the time and I don't know what to do. He hurts me too. He breaks my stuff, he threatens to throw my stuff out, he threatens to hurt me. He shoves me, he will take a swing "at me" and either go over my head or stop right in front of my face and then get his face in mine and tell me "just like that" meaning just like that I could be knocked out or dead. He steals my phone any time we have a fight so I can't call anyone. He won't let me leave the house. I'm so trapped... so alone... so scared.. but I don't know what to do. I just need someone to talk to right now...

Jane, you're right, he's very abusive. You have to take your kid or kids and get out of there, the first chance you get. If he becomes violent or just won't leave you alone, you have to call the police. Is there anywhere that you could go? There might be shelters in your area if you don't have family or friends to stay with right now. You can't let this go on, he could do something much worse. You owe it to your child or children to be safe, you have to put them first.

I know I should... I just can't yet... I know I have options, I am very very aware of them I just can't bring myself to leave yet.

Why can't you bring yourself to leave? Ask yourself this: would you treat someone that you love the way he's treating you? What makes you think that he's worth your time?

I know it sounds stupid, but I love him. No I would never treat someone the way I am being treated, but it doesn't make me want to give up on this. He used to be someone different. When we first met he was a guy who would never hit a woman, opened doors for them, offered his coat... then he changed. He blames me. I blame the courts, him, and his ex personally, but it doesn't make me want to give up on him. I love him. I love how he treats me when he isn't acting like a jerk, I love how he looks at me like I'm his entire world, I love how he can be so good with my kid. I love lots of things about him. I'm just struggling with these parts that bring me down all the time... It hurts and I don't know what to do about it.

Does he seem to realize that he's hurting you and like he might want to change? If he's hurting your kid's mother, he's not being good to your kid..

Hi there. I know exactly why you stay. Its the same reason why all of us have. You have been conditioned to believe what he tells you. And out of fear of what might happen-you also believe that this is some form of love. This is not love. It is NOT. At this point you are so screwed up by his lies you don;t even have a grasp on what love is any more. And you need to know that things are going to get worse. I vow with all the blood in my body they will. Don;t take my word for it either.
Take this free online test-IN PRIVATE. See the results. Men like your escalate in violence. You want support well here you go my babe.
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I'm on your side- I got out barely alive ,and I pray you are smarter than I was and get out sooner.
A friend who offers you support, not pity,
One

I was in the exact same situation from the age of 17 to 25 with my child's father and he did just what your bf is doing. He humiliated, controlled, cursed, hit, kicked, threatened, etc. But, I stayed nearly 8 years and even i couldn't understand why. I cannot give you the answers. Nobody can, but YOU. I know that's not what you want to hear but it is true. Because the only one who can change/help the situation that you are in is YOU. You have to get to that point that you know that you are ready to let go. That you are ready to love yourself and not allow him to tell you who you are or what you're worth. Girl, you're more precious than gold, but YOU have to see that. Right now, you are seeing yourself the way he wants you to. My breaking point was when my bf brought out his leather belt and made my 4 & 5 year old babies watch him beat me until he nearly broke my hip. The next week, I called my mom who lived 2 hours away and told her I was ready. I left with nothing but our clothes and never looked back. Never. If I made it out, anyone can. He beat me through two pregnancies, raped me regularly, did not allow me to work, did not allow me to have friends, did not allow me to drive, regularly told me I was white trash, a slut, fat, bad mother, and even urinated on me. If there was anything he could do to hurt me mentally or physically he would do it. There is hope. There is a life after abuse. You just have to decide that you are ready for it.