Is this abuse ??

My girlfriend and I have been living together for five years.
In the first year she was so helpful and eager to please, however she became increasingly difficult and argumentative. We never seem to get anything sorted out. She blocks anything that I suggest and never apologises for anything that she does wrong. She always twists and distorts the situation to make it sound like it is all my fault. I run a home business, and she pushes into my conversations with all my customers if she is home. She is not otherwise involved in my business. She always tries to dominate social conversations and speaks loudly right over the top of me. I have complained to her several times about this, snd she backs of for about a week and then ramps it up again. She is a big flirt and chases other guys especially the young ones. However if I talk to another female she tries to take over and tries real hard to make friends with that other lady. She is a real gossip and starts rumors about others who then stop talking to both of us.
She has upset my mother and my brother by talking out of turn .
She will not see that she needs to back off.
She acts loud and shows off and tries to get others to look at her.
She exaggerates everything and I never really know what I am dealing with. She claims to have a lot of friends but they do not see it that way. Does she have a problem or do I ???

I wouldn't call it abusive. My personal opinion is this is simply her personality and you have to decide if this is someone you feel you can continue to have a long term future w/. Are you considering marraige or in your mind are you already married and just are the type of couple that prefers it not be on paper? Well either way....you are not legally bound to her and you need to decide just how deep your love for her runs...in other words what you feel you can continue to deal w/ without change on her part.

If you feel you've talked this issue to death w/ no prospect or willingness to try and change on her part....well...can't say it enough that you have much to think about as far as the future of your relationship. She does need to respect your privacy and your clients' privacy when it comes to your business. That much you should be able to expect from her, no question. But as far as how she acts socially and around other people, all you can do is bring this to her attention. Either she can see it and want to try and work towards improving in those areas....or she can refuse to see it and continue like she is!

Thanks for the reply - I am on the edge of leaving her. Her interfering and domineering is driving me nuts. I saw a counselor today and he had the courage to tell me what he thought - she has Histrionic personality disorder with some Nacisisstic characteristics. He pointed out that these folk rarely present for treatment and when they do they make poor progress. He said that there is just no talking to these people. He`asked me if I had made any progress in talking to her about HER BEHAVIOR in the past five years. I replied that she gets snippy and then real defensive and then tries to blame it all on me. He said that if I stay with her then I will need to accept that she will never change because she does not give a s**t about what I think or want. She is only concerned about what she wants.
I think that I deserve a better deal..

she sounds just like my next door neighbor rude and obnoxious, this girl is just loud and needs everyone to look at her, in a group she has to be the loudest and get everyone to hear and she only her. she is a flurt from hell and she will get out side in her bikinie and cut grass so all the guys can see her that ride by (does not have the body to even do this ). i have even told here to stay away from me and my house and she still trys to come over here , and when you try to talk to her she will not let u get a word in edge wise.... i can't stand to be around her so i can see what you mean. i would have to say you need to do a barney 5 ( U need to nip it in the bud). If you don't stop it now you will have to deal with it for as long as you are with her and in the end may end up even hating her.

I wouldn't call your situation with your GF abuse. However it does seem controlling, that she has to control everything that is going on.

That in it self can be a problem.
But no I wouldn't say that it is abuse.

Hey Jophil28,

just thought I'd check in and see how things are going for you and this situation.

That's what we call...marriage.

Its not abuse, at least I dont think it is. I would leave her.