I was raised by a domineering mother who was verbally abusive. She was always yelling at me, talking down to me condescendingly and saying hurtful things to me. I'm not sure if it's considered being physically abusive but she frequently spanked me..often for no good reason..she would just fly off the handle. She was a high functioning alcoholic and yes she was all the meaner after a few drinks.
So here it is a couple of decades later and I am close friends with a lady who has anger issues. Yes she reminds me of my mother in many ways. It's not all the time but she has gotten really angry at me and said cruel things.
She has been pressuring me to move in with her. My gut reaction is that it is a terrible idea that would bring me much sadness. Yet sometimes I get tempted to do it. Strangely this often happens hours after she verbally abuses me. When she does it I don't like it and think of cutting off the friendship. Then we part ways for the day and a few hours later I romanticize the idea of living with her, her yelling at ms and being verbally abusive (I knownit would be all the worse if I lived with her) while I am stuck with her...i won't be able to leave and go home because.I'll be home. The concept of being captive gives me a tingling feeling of excitement. I am sure this is because it reminds me of the captive feeling I felt with my mother. I also realize the reality would be much worse than the romanticizing of it that I'm doing.