Arrested and my kids got taken away

Hello,

I am looking for a support team and someone who can help guide me from experience on what to do about my husband. I married my husband a few years ago, at first things were fine but they quickly dissipated. My husband can go days without speaking to me and he is never home. Recently I asked him to give me the day to myself because I am always home alone with the kids while he is out and about. We agreed so he went out for the day. I went out for the day while the kids stayed with grandma. I got home about 12-1pm. Before I got home I stopped and got me a bottle of wine. My husband bands me from drinking unless he is there. But keep in mind he has wine in the house all the time. I don't drink but I decided to do so this day.

I drink one glass of wine and made dinner. My husband got home early which was unexpected because he never gets home that early when he goes out. I had a glass of wine by two and they got home about 6:30 pm. I fixed them a plate of dinner and went off to bed to sleep. I woke about eleven o'clock when I saw that the bedroom door was open, the kids were sitting on the floor in the bedroom and all the lights were turned on.

I asked myself why he did not put the kids to bed already. So I picked my two kids and as I was taking them to bed. He was sitting in the living room and he started stating to me oh that is why you should not drink. I asked him what he was talking about? He stated that I see that bottle of wine that you bought. I ignored him and kept walking towards the kid's room and I put them to bed.

When I went back to the bed room he had moved from the living room to the bedroom and he started off a gaining saying that is why you should not drink. I asked him again what he was talking about and told him that he drinks too and to leave me alone. The only thing that was on my mind was to get back into bed.

I guess he got upset because I ignored him and before I knew it he came at me and punched me in my breast and my stomach. I was so hurt and shocked that he would actually do such a thing. So I defended myself and when he back off I went to go for my phone and my keys and he wouldn't let me have them. I was scared for my life.

To make a long story short the police was called and they report to DCF that there were children present in the home and now it has become this huge case. I don't want to lose my kids. I was arrested. They said that my husband had more bruises on him than myself.

Through out this process, my husband has made it out to be like I am the one who victimized him. Now he is sending me flowers. But I know that he just took the opportunity to make me look like something that I am not.

Omg does anyone understand what I am going through? I don't want to lose my kids. I spent two nights in Jail and I do not want to go back. Please any advice......

Your post doesn't give enough detail to really make a judgement on what happened or really who is at fault here. We can only move forward from this point.
Alcohol destroys families. Maybe the court will order screening and possible treatment?
This sounds like this tension has been building up for awhile and that this was just the breaking point? There seems to be a lot going very wrong right now.
Follow the advice of the Child Protection Agency and the Judge. Counseling may help. Securing an attorney may help. You have options, please choose the correct ones.
Best of luck to you.

Do you have family or friends to lean on.

Are there stressors around that may be an issue. Money jobs ??

How old are the children ?

I wish I could do more but I am on the other side of the world and your situation would be different than it is here.

Kids are unbelievably resilient, believe me. One day they may ask about it and try and work out the "why", but right now they will be okay (as long as it does not become a trend ).

I hope it is all coming back together for you.

Terry,

I do not really have a great support system. I do have a sister that I can communicate with but I haven't been communicating with my family as much because my husband made them out to be the problem in our marriage. That I should not have contacted them and to solely stay in touch with his side of the family. So I choose to keep them at arm's length until I could pinpoint what the problem was and what I should do.


I never felt comfortable around his family no matter as much as I tried. They never respected my boundaries and it was as if I was wrong to have boundaries. The little that I did have at first.

I have been able to keep my job by the grace of God but work is stressful for me. But it has helped me keep my mind off of all the problems I am facing at this point in my life. Money is not great but manageable.

I am feeling so guilty and ashamed right now. I am going to file for divorce and try to get my own apartment. I am now living with my mother which has never been the most healthy situation for me.

My kids are safe so my mind is at ease when it comes to them. I miss them so much and I hope that they are not in so much pain as I am for the lack of their presence.

We just purchased the house a month ago and he is telling everyone that he never wanted to move to the location.

I feel so betrayed, confused, hurt and alone. But I know this will make me a strong person. I just want to make sure that I am making all the right choices.

I don't trust anyone right now. Not my family, lawyer and especially not my husband. I just need time alone to sort things out. To build better boundaries and relationships.

My family relationship has never been a good one. I think it is the time that I move on and do what is best for My children and myself at this point.