I am scared

I have lived with my husband for 13 months now, married for 6 months. I don't think we are right for each other because I have a lot of mental health issues I need help with. I hit my husband in the back today for coming up behind me. I said to stay away from me and he invaded my space. Counseling isn't helping me and he makes me feel so scared after shouting at me which is what caused me to tell him to keep his distance. I was physically and verbally abused and witnessed domestic violence at home growing up so I feel traumatized. I do not trust people and am afraid of them. Should I see a psychiatrist for medication? I am scared for myself, I am not an abusive person but my husband blames me for everything and thinks he is always right. I don't know if I want to be with him anymore. I have had doubts from the beginning and we fight so much. He thinks we're happy. It is very hard to deal with someone so in denial of reality.

I suggest, stepping back. Seeing how things go for the next month. Honestly try and evaluate again.

All couples have issues and survivors like you will often suffer from self esteem and trust issues. Maybe do some research on that and also become more aware of your triggers.

If when you are rested, feeling okay, you can evaluate things and see you still have problems, then make a plan and take steps.

in the meantime and this may be bleeding obvious, but maybe avoid getting pregnant

I wish you luck, take care.

It sounds like you would benefit from both couples counselling together, and individual help for yourself. Go and talk to your doctor, they’ll be able to point you in the right direction for both of these things.

Good Luck.