NOT SURE WHAT TO DO

by **bleedforme** » Thu Oct 11, 2012 3:06 am

I am the SO, mind body and soul to a very glorious and amazing man.. This man is DID, has posted numerous threads and at this point, I feel and my husband Jack who is alter of the Core will say differently, that we are in a CRISIS at this time.. Jack took it upon himself without any regard for the core, my husband Chase, the other alters, or me when he made the decision to just recently (today ) get rid off/lock up/ i dont know what of Chase and also of Blake and the only ones left around, is Christian who is new as of last night, and Dylan-ish as of last night and also our one little Scottie.. I do not know what to do in this situation, Jack is now posting ranting about how he wants his life, and is sick of Chase and how he runs the life... CHASE IS A GOOD AND AMAZING AND STRONG MAN, who has done nothing but love them all and our relationship, is willing to do whatever it takes for the better of us all.. he is not an alcohol or drug abuser, he is kind and compassionate, some times loud and direct, but has the biggest heart and soul of anyone I have every known...he takes care of the outside body, our children, and is trying to take care of the inside mind at all times... to me he has no flaws.. Not sure how to feel about this situation except for hurt right now, scared and at a lost as to what to do for Chase, who I know DOES NOT WANT, to be hidden or away and will be furious when he comes back.. I love my husband Jack more than life itself, I love them all more than life, but how can I carry on when an alter has just betrayed the rest and is threatening them all.. how can I get Chase back, what can I do to find him??? Any help is appreciated.. I do not want to lose this battle, as in the battle they are having in their mind as well as our relationship, and thats the only place I see it going.. gone..

Try calling for him by name, putting on music he likes, serving favorite foods of his, anything that might "jar" him back. Even if Jack gets mad, try anyway. Tell him why you're doing what you're doing, and talk to him about all this sh*t. Tell him you understand what he's saying and how he feels, but then explain how you feel and what you think. Write notes to Chase and the others, literally try anything that might "jar" anyone back. Even if you can't get Chase at first, if one's able to break through, usually it'll help the others come back too. If nothing else, just don't give up on him. But also, respect Jack and what he's trying to do. Understand where he's coming from. It's not exactly a cake-walk being an alter, sometimes. Lots of communication is needed here, lots of listening and understanding each other too.

-KAT

by **Una+** » Thu Oct 11, 2012 3:47 pm

Why is Jack out front now? Do you have a handle on what is going on? Is it all internal to him, or is there something more going on in your lives right now?

by **bleedforme** » Thu Oct 11, 2012 5:27 pm

Una, there is nothing going on in our lives that hasnt been going on.. We are pretty boring, the usual take care of children, dealing with life-ie doctors or whatever..It seems to be all internal, there are no issues in our relationship except for JACK feeling like JUST JACK AND DANIELLE ARE GONE... Chase in no way wants to be away from our lives or me..I currently am trying to convince Jack to release Chase and Blake before things get any worse inside, because I know if time goes by Chase will somehow get out and be furious and will have no other option but to feel betrayed by a piece of himself and make the choice to then lock Jack away (I'm assuming)

by **Una+** » Thu Oct 11, 2012 5:33 pm

Hm. For parents with DID, often triggers emerge when the children reach a certain age or begin to display a certain behavior.

For me, a certain preschool play material, certain unusual textures, can trigger a panic attack. And one of my kids for a year or so triggered some very disturbing feelings in me.

by **bleedforme** » Thu Oct 11, 2012 5:53 pm

I dont know, the children actually seem to be better, my grandfather who lives with us gives us daily stress, but again thats nothing new.. its all so confusing

by **Chasenawaythepain** » Thu Oct 11, 2012 6:03 pm

You only need me Danielle, It was always just you and me. and now your not satisfied with me any longer. I only want US, for us to have what we had. Im still here taking care of the kids, doing daily things. Ive done nothing wrong except try to have just me and you. I love you, please dont feel betrayed.

by **bleedforme** » Thu Oct 11, 2012 8:17 pm

Jack, I need the body and heart and soul, which includes all parts of Chase, you all have to be happy, and right now you are taking away the happiness of others for JUST YOU AND ME.. Please stop saying I am unsatisfied with you, IT IS NOT YOU, ive never been unsatsified in anyway in who you are, or who we are as a couple.. the FACT IS, that you are who you are, inside of Chase, who is amazing and has giving you life, and has done all he can do to share time with you and the rest and do whatever it takes for all of us.. ALL OF US...In a perfect world you in fact would have your own body, and yes we would be a couple because we met first, but the rest were there, and reside and share a body and heart and soul with you...as well as I do... I love you endlessly, just as I love them all..

by **Chasenawaythepain** » Thu Oct 11, 2012 10:16 pm

If its all of us then I will not be happy, weve tried that already. This is why Im doing what Im doing, and by thinking if its just me, youll be happy, and now knowing I was wrong then that leaves me to not know what to do, because I am not happy sharing my life with you with others. I just want US danielle. Thats it. Just us, and you say that cant happen, but its just me right now, I cant go back after what Ive done to just be sad and depressed. because that makes you unhappy aswell babygirl. Theres only 2 ways about it right now, I stay in control and live happily which in turn makes you unhappy, or I let them out and sit in sadness and you be unhappy about that too. So how do I really make you happy now? I love you so much and I just want us.

by **bleedforme** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 2:21 am

You do what rightfor everyone and makes your mind, that includes the Core and all its pieces happy as well as realize the reality of our situation.. for all of us and our relationship

NOT SURE WHAT TO DO

NOT SURE WHAT TO DO

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