Scared to Talk to Partner

She thinks I'm faking this.

And I'm scared, because I don't think I am.

And now I don't want to talk to her anymore, not about this, not until I get into therapy. Not until I have someone who can help me get everything straight.

I'm upset because Raine was really #######5 to one of my oldest friends, and they ended up being really pissy at me afterwards and blamed me for it all. And I can't handle this. I'm scared and I want to disappear but I don't want someone coming forward now, not with my partner coming home soon. She doesn't need to deal with this.

I'm walking to a nearby counseling centre tomorrow. They work primarily with LGBTQ persons (which is wonderful, as a non-binary lesbianish-type), and they're only five minutes away and they accept my insurance. I was trying some other routes that were recommended, but that's not working in my favour.

Sigh.

She thinks I'm faking because her other partner has DID, and apparently, they are telling her that I am faking (through what she has told them, not much in the way of our experience with them). So now I'm scared to trust them. I feel like I'm faking a lot, but being told I'm faking makes me feel really hurt and really angry and makes me want to lash out at them.

I don't know what to do.

I'm sorry to hear that. I remember when my boyfriend first told me about his DID, I was skeptical. Although, he told me about it before we started dating, and he said it very casually. It was when I had finally saw one of his alters and saw the immediate change in his attitude, how he carried himself out, his voice change, that I was starting to believe his disorder.

I would suggest going into therapy and see if you can get an official diagnosis if you already do not have one.

And for your partner, give her time. This kind of information is just very out there. It's not every day you find somebody who does have DID. There are those who do not believe in the disorder. I know a friend of ours stated to both of our faces that he felt that my boyfriend was faking it. Although, he believes that most disorders do not exist because people want to use them so they can blame their actions on something and not take responsibility for their own actions. Which is too to an extent. I have seen many people with disorders, not just with DID. But that does not mean that the disorder does not exist.

And you know what? People will talk crap all day everyday. It's something I am still learning. I'll tell you the advice my boyfriend gives me just about every single day, "Don't take it personal".

Your therapist cannot be biased to them, or you. Honestly, I am curious into how she was able to get a hold of this tit-bit of information... If she got it from one of your friends from a therapy session, she can get in trouble for revealing information from a person's session because those are meant to be confidential. I would be PISSED if I had found out that my therapist was telling somebody I know my problems and they were able to more or guess who I was. I would have just stopped going to the therapist because that is just an instant trust breaker for me.

Go find a therapist that is going to be non-biased.

I do wish you luck

I think you misunderstand; I don't have a therapist, and my partner's other partner (her Mistress) has DID. All this:

Alethezeia wrote:She thinks I'm faking because her other partner has DID, and apparently, they are telling her that I am faking (through what she has told them, not much in the way of our experience with them). So now I'm scared to trust them. I feel like I'm faking a lot, but being told I'm faking makes me feel really hurt and really angry and makes me want to lash out at them.

I don't know what to do.

was about my partner, not my (non-existent) therapist.

-Edward/Unicorn

OH, my bad.

I'm very sorry that nobody believes you guys. It must be very frustrating to have that happen. But is the girlfriend a certified therapist who can clinically diagnose people? If she isn't then really, her view should be taken as a grain of rice.

If you feel that you need to have an official diagnosis, then go see a therapist and talk to them about it. I really do hope for the best.

I know that it's very scary to talk to somebody about a mental disorder. I recently came out to my grandparents about having BPD and they took it in a negative way, so I have been avoiding them so to speak... Although it's hard because I live with them...

Please do understand that not every singleton will act the same. I'm a singleton and I believe that DID does exist, and that you may in fact have it. The mind is such an amazing thing that it will do just about anything to try and survive from a specific event, even if it means destroying the body.

I hope that your girlfriend will turn around, or that if she doesn't, that you are able to find somebody you may be able to love and that they will accept you for you, and your alters.

It's her partner that doesn't believe us. Her partner, who is also multiple.

And we're supposed to talk tonight about our needs in our relationships.

This is going to be really, really hard for me. All my life I've been trained that stating my needs is an attack on the person that I'm stating my needs to, and it's hard to break that habit.

And, on top of that, my needs aren't as great as the needs of Jenny - the person I can't talk about openly because of anxiety and the feeling I get from those whom I would be talking to, and who I feel would not be welcome if she came forward.

###$. ###$ ###$ ###$ ###$ ###$.

###$.

-Edward/Unicorn

I want to know, do you believe that your partner right now is just on the fence because you have DID and they are not sure how to handle it because one of their ex's also has DID, or do you believe that it has nothing to do with that?

I don't know why, but a part of me would just not even bother with keeping this partner if it were me. I want to have a person who will accept me for me. A person who can see through my rough parts and my crazy parts and actually love and respect me for myself. I want a person who can accept my condition and have the patience to help me, but at the same time, be firm enough to make me do those steps alone. And if I were to fall, that they be there to give me a hand.

You need to have somebody accept your DID. If you believe that your SO is not going to accept it, believe it, then you do not need them in your life. Especially if you are trying to better yourself. May that be through learning how to co-exist, or even integrating with the system. If your SO is more willing to listen to their ex, and disregard your feelings, then it's clear, for me at least, that they are not worth your time and you deserve much better.

Then again, this could be my black/white view talking...

It isn't their ex. IT IS THEIR OTHER PARTNER THAT HAS DID. I just said this three times in this thread - make that four times, now.

And that partner says that I'm faking.

Also ###$ you for telling me to get rid of my partner. Seriously, ###$ off right the ###$ now. I love her with all my heart and having this one disagreement isn't enough to change that.

You've proven to me that you've a consistent inability to either listen or comprehend - I do not know which, nor do I care. You've now upset him rather much, so I think you would do best to leave this subject alone. Run along, now. Amy - his partner - doesn't understand the full implications of that which he is dealing with, and that's why he's getting therapy, so as to obtain a professional viewpoint and diagnosis of what he is dealing with. What a good boy.

Shame he's an idiot in just about every other respect. He's so easily swayed, that just by saying I don't exist, he believes them! I'm not sure how much more proof can be made. I could ruin him, I suppose, that would be fun, and he would not be able to deny me or mine any longer.

Anyhow, I digress. You speak from ignorance, and I highly detest such. Don't do it again.

I'm sorry. I was trying to help. I sometimes end up having a hard time with English. But it's alright.

I'm sorry if I upset you. That was how I understood the situation. Forget my advice and do what you think is best.

Jesus. I'm so sorry. I was irritated, but that was...

I'm sorry.

-Edward/Unicorn

No, you had every right to be mad at me. I'm always doing $#%^ wrong. I'm an idiot. Everybody pretty much knows I'm stupid. I don't do anything right and I'm "una mal criada". I'm always doing bad things. I'm a very bad person. So you had every right to be mad.