is it okay to tell people?

Alethezeia wrote:It's okay. When I get sucked into a depressive state (it's more rare than common these days), it's hard to see how I would ever feel any differently. It's not quite so bad as I may have made it sound up there.

-Edward/Unicorn

We know how that feels. I wanted to stay and chat a bit to see how you were doing last night but someone was getting really scared We're glad to hear that though!

I am not sure how I feel.

I've met someone new. Well, no - I haven't - this is a person I've been talking to for years now. It's mostly rather one-sided, though - they usually talk to me, and tell me what to do. They're pretty good at it, though, so I listen to their advice.

They seem kind of...autistic. Or sociopathic. Very...cold, emotionally speaking. Rather sadistic in nature. I'm not sure how to feel about them.

I rather like them.

I am not a sociopath, thank you very much. I've merely found that emotions are not conducive to survival.

Alethezeia wrote:I've met someone new. Well, no - I haven't - this is a person I've been talking to for years now. It's mostly rather one-sided, though - they usually talk to me, and tell me what to do. They're pretty good at it, though, so I listen to their advice.

An alter, or someone on the outside?

An alter. They go by Raine, which I find a little insulting, as that was a name I used to go by. They're a ######6 condescending prick, but they're usually right, so I don't know how to feel about them.

Oh! okay. Well, I would say just give them respect. You know.

"You know."

No, I don't. Care to explain?

Hello to Edward, Unicorn, and Jenny. Telling others is a complex issue. It is so common (as you've experienced) for there to be disagreement in the system. Some of us want to tell others, so that we can bond more closely/express more of ourselves. But many of us are like you Edward, fearful of trusting (for good reason), vulnerable to reactions we may receive.

When making any difficult decision, I find it helpful to make a list of pros and cons. For example:
Pros in telling friend
- my friends can better understand who I am
- I can feel freer around them

Cons
- they may react badly or think badly of me
- I may cause myself lots of inner turmoil and anxiety

I know I am not ready to tell our friends. But sometimes the urge to do so becomes really strong. It's normal to want to be understood, and noble for you to want to be honest with those you care about.

You have a part of you (an alter) that wants to tell others, and a part that has their doubts.You may never be in complete agreement on this decision, and you may decide to tell someone, even if some alters are not in agreement. If this is the case, I think it is important to ask yourself, "If this person reacts poorly, am I in a stable enough state of mind to handle it?" Honestly, this is a question we've been struggling with for a while. Sometimes our state of mind is fine, even better than fine, and other times we have awful panic attacks.

I also wanted to mention that that depressive state you went into in an earlier post, closely resembles some depressive states I find myself it. It was helpful for me to read that. Thank you.

Alethezeia wrote:"You know."

No, I don't. Care to explain?

I meant that it would probably be easier to just give them their own space and not take anything they say *too* seriously until you've thought about it. I wouldn't think it would be a good idea to disrespect someone like that, is what I was saying.