Done living this lie

Duh. Who else's? You going to call me a thief now, too?

-- Fri Sep 21, 2012 10:26 pm --

No, you're not a thief. You're a liar. And oh, I don't know, it could just maybe be Cassandra's laptop. It's a Toshiba, right?

-- Fri Sep 21, 2012 10:28 pm --

You mean YOUR laptop, because YOU'RE Cassandra. At least you stopped signing your dumb little "name" at the bottom.
Like it means anything that it's a Toshiba. Lots of people have them.

Does your laptop have stickers with their eyes blacked out on it?

Well, does "my" laptop look anything like your's? '68 drag race Camaro as a background, bunch of DND programs on it, little ripped sticker of some ninja dude...any of this ringin' a bell?

(D@#mit, Mike, I thought of it first! )

No, nothing's "ringin' a bell" because nothing sounds familiar. You guys are f*#king weird.

Weird, eh? How's this for weird? Look! I'm writing on your page, your screen, your post! Weird, huh? And look who's lying now! Let's just take a look over here- yep, there's the little ninja dude sticker. I think that's all we need to see, eh? Would you like to look around some more?

How the ###$ are you doing this?! Did you hack into my own laptop or something?! Get the ###$ off my screen!

It's not your screen! Would you like to look down?

WHAT THE ###$ IS WRONG WITH YOU?! Why would I want to look down?! It's not like you can make me look down!

Oh, I think we should look down.

I'm so done with this crazy @$$ bullsh*t-

Let's LOOK DOWN! Yeah, check that out! Your hands move as I type! Pretty trippy, eh? Whatcha think of that "bullsh*t"?

KATHERINE! This is NOT how things were supposed to be done! What do you think you're doing?
I'm thinking I'm shocking someone into being a believer and getting off our @$$es about being f*#king lies/liars, that's what. Sometimes you gotta shove the truth into people's faces. Huh. Seems they ran away, though.
Of course they ran away! They just witnessed an extremely strange phenomenon of their hands moving on their own accord! This is completely unacceptable, Katherine! This could ruin any amount of progress we were obtaining!
Please, I just made all the progress you need. They can't live in denial after that.
And what if they can? What if they decide to run away, hide away, and never again show themselves again? What if you have simply pushed them into further blinding denial? You thought this was difficult before? Unless your little half-planned idea works, reversing this damage will become more difficult than ever. You may have just ruined any chance this part had of coming forward and healing. Consider that possibility, please.
Oh I'll f*#king consider it, Little Miss Perfect and Proper. Already have. See, either way our problem's solved. Whether that thing decides to believe or run away forever, we come out on top.
Katherine...you disappoint me sometimes.
Yeah? Well you almost always disappoint me, so f*#k off!

I would like to make it clear that the fight Kat and I just had was nothing serious. She expresses all emotions of her's through anger, and she cannot stand to admit when she is in the wrong, especially if it happened recently (such as this situation here). So do not worry about either of us because there is no trouble between us. The only problem I fear we have now is awaiting the still-possible return of the Salmon-colored text.
Again, thank you to all who have responded.

~Rain

I think Kat had the right idea but took it a little too far, a shock to the system was needed i think, but im with you Rain i hope they decide to come back and maybe break through their denial. I would also like to thank everyone who tried helping

I wish you all the best of luck with coming to peaceful terms on this. It's probably not my place to say, but I agree with Mike here - I think it was the right idea, but maybe taken too far. There is a cognitive dissonance between her posting here and being in the body, and her not being an alter or being with Cassandra at all. How else would she know what she thought? How else would she know everything happening in her life? I'd read up on introjects - not because I feel one way or another that she is one, but because they sometimes don't feel like they are a part of the system - and maybe someone could give some tips for how to let her know that she is, and always will be, a part of Cassandra and the rest in one way or another.

I really do wish the best for her and for all of you in working through the denial and the things written about here. And should you be worrying Cassandra (or anyone else), it might not help hearing from me since you don't know me well, but I/we think nothing different about you than we did before all of this. You are kind and helpful and you've (in yourself or other alters at times) helped my system a lot by (all of) your postings. So thank you

I AM NOT AN ALTER! I AM NOT "WITH" CASSANDRA! I think it's becoming quite f*#king clear just how far her lies have stretched.

I know all this sh*t about her because SHE TELLS ME. She lies to everyone, and she tries to lie to me, but I see through her bullsh*t. Though usually she's spilling her guts to me, telling me about the f*#king lies she's fed people, instead of trying to feed her lies to me. I think it's because she mostly knows better by now. If only she could fully know better all the time.

I don't know what the f*#k happened last time, and I don't know how the f*#k it happened, but I'm chalking it up to being "strange sh*t to be forgotten".

Cassandra, I'm not going to put up with this bullsh*t forever. The more you lie and hide behind these false names, the closer I get to saying "f*#k this" and leaving you. Either you come clean, or I'm walking. STOP LIVING THIS LIE.

Hey look! They're back! See, Rain? No reason to get your panties in a bunch. D@mn, the f*#ker is sure blind to the truth, though. You hear that? You're f*#king blinder than a f*#king bat to the truth! That WAS me moving your hands! That "strange sh*t" really happened and I won't let you forget it! Here! I believe that was your first does of f*#king enlightenment.

I'm the blind one??!! Do you see what you are doing?!! Do you even comprehend it?! Seriously! YOU NEED HELP AND YOU NEED TO STOP LIVING THESE LIES!! This whole bullsh*t with the supposed "new alter", making her Autistic and everything, NEEDS TO STOP! You're LYING and feeding yourself and everyone else LIES. And you KNOW IT. You're even going as far as to mold memories and make things "fit better"! You're making these fake personalities "fit" into your life and your memories when you know the truth- THERE WAS NO ONE THERE. THERE'S NO 2+2 TO ADD UP. You're putting things together when there's NOTHING TO PUT TOGETHER. YOU NEED TO STOP. NOW. This is the last f*#king straw, you're getting in way too f*#king deep. Stop LYING, stop playing these GAMES, stop making yourself believe your OWN LIES, STOP EVERYTHING. Come clean, STAY CLEAN, and STOP LYING. YOU ARE JUST ACTING AND YOU KNOW IT. You're aware of every single f*#king thing that you do! You know what you're doing! You've made yourself believe your own lies and it needs to stop! There's NOTHING to "explain" about your past! Stop using these fake personalities to "explain" things that don't need explaining! So you're a little weird...SO F*#KING WHAT?? STOP USING FAKE PERSONALITIES TO TRY AND JUSTIFY YOUR WEIRDNESS. Stop running from responsibilities, stop hiding behind these false names, stop justifying your UNACCEPTABLE behavior by saying it was a fake personality! You are a LIAR, you are a HORRIBLE PERSON, you are WEIRD, you are IRRESPONSIBLE, you are SELFISH, and you are MANIPULATIVE. ACCEPT IT and stop living these LIES! I won't put up with all this COMPLETE BULLSH*T for much longer. If you don't come clean soon, you and I are THROUGH. Either you STOP LYING and STOP HIDING, or you F*#K OFF and NEVER CONTACT ME AGAIN. Never SPEAK to me, never go LOOKING for me, NEVER TRY TO INTERACT WITH ME. That's you're f*#king choice. I'm DONE with your LIES and I won't put up with them ANYMORE.

Why do you think I'm lying?? Why are you so convinced of this?? Yes, I've lied about things, but I already admitted to what I lied about! In this thread even! I'm not lying about this! I swear! Besides, I don't even know who you are! Who are you??