Dating Dissociative/Bi-Polar Girl - Need advise

Hello everyone,

I've been dating a girl with this disorder for a little over 2 months. I think I'm falling in love with her, but I'm worried about her motivations and true feelings towards me and the relationship. To give you some backround, she is 24 and was sexually abused at a very young age. She has never been in a proper relationship, and has had a very large number of sexual partners in her life. She self abuses with both drugs and alcohol. A couple of weeks ago, she hooked up with a guy in a bar when I was out with her. The next day she told me she hadn't slept with him, and we made up. Yesterday I told her I thought I might be falling in love with her, she took this at first quite well, but today she told me she doesn't think it's going to work out. I pleaded with her to give it a chance. She then told me that she doesn't have the capacity to have real feelings for anyone, that all her emotions are fake and she often uses manipulation to get what she wants. She told me it would be unfair for me to love someone who cannot reciprocate. Finally she said she had slept with the guy in the bar after all. This made me cry, and that's when she started to change her tune. Told me that she does have some feelings for me, but doesn't know if she can ever properly express them. She told me that she has been trying to scare me away, but only because she doesn't want me to get hurt.

What I'm trying to understand here, is whether or not she has feelings for me, or whether I'm being duped by a pseudo-sociopathic mindset. For those with first hand experience with this disorder, what is the more likely scenario? Is there any chance for her to experience love with me, or am I fighting a losing battle?

Is she in therapy? Because if she isn't she needs to be.

Secondly, if she has DID like you claim, was she diagnosed with it? What are the signs (pitch changes in her voice or even full accent change, periods she doesn't remember, drastic action changes, have any alters actually talked to you, what are her triggers etc.) and you'll have to be very observative of her. We're really going to need more information.

I really don't want to come off negatively, but from a dating standpoint, I'd say stay the ###$ away from her. Even with her DID, if she has it, her actions are simply going to lead to you getting hurt, and she doesn't seem like she will care.

I may be generalizing, but that's what I'm getting from the evidence you posted.

Hello Profitors. I have to say what you describe does not sound typical of a dissociative disorder (DID or any other) or bipolar disorder. It does sound fairly typical of an alcoholic, though. Are her DID and (or?) BPD self-diagnosed? The professional literature about DID is very clear that useful diagnosis and treatment of DID is not feasible until the person is clean and sober.

This picking up and leaving with some other guy while on a date with you is frankly abusive toward you. Did she at any point seem to have no memory of her behavior that night, or does it appear she lied to you about (minimized) the details?

Dating is a discovery process and I think you are discovering this woman is very unhealthy in a whole lot of ways. This is a relationship you probably should not invest in at this time.

This don't seem to say DID to me. She might have it, I ain't saying she doesn't, but she has some other problem too. I agree with Una+ on this one.