A bit of a surprise..

lifelongthing wrote:No one will believe me..

I'll believe you

lifelongthing wrote:One thing though: Anyone out there have a clue about boys that age? Boys in their late teens is a trigger for me and I find I know next to nothing about boys in that in-between really. Anyone with any info?
- Nin

I think you're halfway to answering this question with the music thing. Boys that age usually love their music! Certain bands are cool, certain songs, they want to be in a band, all that. Jake definitely responds to music, in fact he actually 'holds' my ability to respond emotionally to music. And repeating the same song over and over is pretty standard behaviour, too, even if it drives everyone else listening to it insane! It probably means a lot to him. Try asking him what bands he likes, whether any other songs mean something to him. Give him free access to your i-pod! Hopefully that will get him talking

lifelongthing wrote:Been there so many times! This morning I woke up with a pretty intense with to get this haircut:

I keep wanting to get that haircut too! In fact, that's pretty similar to the one Jake gave me 20 years ago (God I'm old ) except it was shorter.

There's nothing wrong or unbelievable about having a name that someone else already has. It's just like when you find a person on the street who has the same name as you. It's certainly not a strange thing

I'll try to relate this to her. Thank you!

Consistent reassurance that she will be believed and accepted, and that you guys don't care if her name's the same as someone else's. And that if she doesn't want to say her name, that's ok, you still want to get to know her.

I get that she worries.. The reason I didn't bring it up (and why Anastasia did, I imagine) is that I have already questioned her name. She, in a round-about way, told me her name (her possible name as I thought). My first instinct was "I'm making this up" and it made her back off completely. And I so thoroughly understand that - it must've been very painful to be met with that after so many years of hiding. She is the first of my alters I've had this reaction to, and it was both hurtful and very much uncalled for. I am trying hard to apologize to her and build some more communication on her terms.

Just because they can't hear you right now, doesn't mean they never hear you.

Very true - I will definitely keep this in mind.

Maybe try singing back to Jacob? He might only be able to hear in song or something as a reply. It might be his way of communicating right now.

We've tried singing as per your suggestion and keeping the song going several times over the night and it seems to be helping some in quieting the song (on the inside) down for periods of time at least. Thank you

And repeating the same song over and over is pretty standard behaviour, too, even if it drives everyone else listening to it insane!

Thankfully all but a couple of people in our system are heavy on the repeat button already (generally having the same song going over and over, day and night, for give or take two weeks in a row or more ). So we should be fine with that at least

I keep wanting to get that haircut too! In fact, that's pretty similar to the one Jake gave me 20 years ago (God I'm old ) except it was shorter.

I'm trying hard to resist but it's definitely a strong urge.
That's cause it's coming from both Jacob and me

- Nin

I tried to say my name again today but no one listened.. No one believes me inside just Jacob..

maybe they aren't hearing you. or maybe they don't know you're saying your name instead of just a name. it could just be confusion and mistakes. i'll believe your name! you could type it here if you'd like. or maybe you could write your name out for nin and the others so that there's no mistaking anything. or maybe jacob could help you share your name. maybe he could sing your name? the others heard his singing last time. don't give up. i know the others want to know your name. they said so. they just might need help hearing/knowing it. and knowing it's your's. cassandra had a hard time with marie's name cuz marie was our mom's middle name too. so cassandra just thawt she was making it all up and that marie wasn't really her name but just a name cassandra put on her. it took a bit to get used to marie being real and her name really being marie. but it happened. and i know it'll happen for you too! *hugs if wanted!*

I'll ask Jacob to sing. I know what song too. Very good suggestion, thank you. Nin still won't hear my name. She hears it and I guess she tries to believe it but she doesn't really. It hurts. Elisa and Jacob believe me.. I wish I wasn't the only one Nin didn't believe.

*song lyrics*
It's like no matter what I do
I can't convince you
For once just to hear me out.
So I
Let go
Watching you
Turn your back like you always do.
Face away and pretend that I'm not.
But I'll be here 'cause you're all that I've got.

lifelongthing wrote:I'll ask Jacob to sing. I know what song too. Very good suggestion, thank you. Nin still won't hear my name. She hears it and I guess she tries to believe it but she doesn't really. It hurts. Elisa and Jacob believe me.. I wish I wasn't the only one Nin didn't believe.

How did it go? Did Jacob sing? I'm sorry you feel so upset at Nin not believing you. I am absolutely certain she doesn't mean to hurt you. I can tell from the way she writes on here that she cares deeply about all of you and your feelings. Sometimes it's just hard to accept some things straight away. You know your name, you've always known it. To her, it's new and it might feel strange. We (the 'grown-ups') aren't perfect. We make mistakes and sometimes that hurts you. I know I hurt my 'little ones' by not believing them sometimes. But it's never about you, it's never anything that you've done wrong. It just takes time sometimes. You're very brave for writing on here. I would love to know your name if you ever feel like writing it, but I know how scary that can be, so please don't feel like you have to. I'm glad you have Elisa and Jacob to help you. And here are some smiles for you!

Jacob did sing. He's a good guy to have around. I'm surprised none of the others knew him.. We were made in the same trauma though. He's kinda my sibling/twin only not totally.

Thanks Marie & Owleyes.

...Well here goes nothing: my name is Cassie.

Hi Cassie Cassie and Jacob! You're so brave, Cassie, I really admire you. You don't have to answer this next question, I was just wondering. Do you think Nin has trouble accepting your name because there is already a Cassie on this site who she talks to, or is it some other reason? I only ask because I had a bit of difficulty accepting Jake's name, or writing it, because there are others about his age with such similar names on here (including your Jacob!) and it made me think maybe I was making it up. But I know that's not true. After all, there are lots of people in the world called Jake, Jacob, Jack, etc. And there are lots of people called Cassie (I know at least five!). And none of them are making their names up just because it's the same as someone else's. Anyway, I'm rambling on and all of this might not even be relevant, sorry Welcome!

Yes that is exactly why. She keeps thinking she made it up cause of Cassie/Cassandra. That was her first thought when she heard it.. It hurt cause I like my name and it's been my name since I was made. I can't help that and it was mine long before we were on here. Hopefully Cassie won't get upset I share my name with her I'm glad you've accepted Jake - it's a good name and plenty of people have it anyway.