My kid got taken away because I'm a Multiple PLEASE HELP

So, my daughter's father found out that I had DID and got the courts to file a motion to take her away from me. I'm currently going through court to get her back. I have never done anything to abuse/neglect my child, there has never been concern for it, and I have no record with Children Services or anything like that. His case against me is that I loose time, I switch, and I have gotten suicidal. That's it.

I can't afford a lawyer as I do not have an income.

Anyone got any good ideas, tips, advice, things I need to bring up during court that might help?

See if you can find a pro-bono lawyer. The only thing that I can see where you might have the problem is the suicidal tenancies. But if you can prove that you are able to function normally and care for your daughter, then the court has no choice but to return her to you.

I am not a law student, and I do wish you the best of luck.

I am so sorry this is happening. Child custody disputes are so hurtful to everyone involved. Who exactly filed the motion? And has the court already taken action?

Is it true that you lose time? When does this happen? Does this happen when you are alone with your child? Is there evidence that the alter who is out with your child is not competent to look after your child or not safe for your child? Is there evidence that this alter is competent and safe? In what ways have you "gotten suicidal"?

This sucks hardcore, sorry to hear 'bout it. Hope you get your kid back. Think the best thing to do is figure out all the sh*t that Una+ is bringin' up. Make sure there's no negative proof of sh*t involving your switching, time loss, and suicidal moods. If there is, be prepared for it and have rebuttals and sh*t planned.

-Damone

w4rp3dh4l0
Have you checked to see if there is a legal aid office in your community? Some times low income people can get help through such an agencies.Most states and cities have a legal aid.It is worth a shot better than waking into the court unprotected.
Us

Una+ wrote:I am so sorry this is happening. Child custody disputes are so hurtful to everyone involved. Who exactly filed the motion? And has the court already taken action?

Is it true that you lose time? When does this happen? Does this happen when you are alone with your child? Is there evidence that the alter who is out with your child is not competent to look after your child or not safe for your child? Is there evidence that this alter is competent and safe? In what ways have you "gotten suicidal"?

I sometimes loose time for a couple minutes when I'm not actively doing something, like taking care of the kids. If the kids are in bed and I feel safe, I'll loose time because I'll switch and have nobody "watching" if that makes since. It doesn't happen around my children at all. There is no evidence that there is an alter that would not be safe around children. My child alters come out around my kids and play with them, but a big is always around to watch to make sure we're all safe. I've gotten suicidal, but it's because I needed my medication changed, which I can prove as soon as I get my medical records.

I think that as long as you can provide proof, such as with your meds, and as long as he's got nothing concretely negative on you, you'll get your daughter back no problem. I certainly hope that happens for you. You sound like a wonderful mother, and it's not right what your ex is doing. If you're able to, (I noticed you mentioned it on another thread), also prepare things that show he doesn't have his daughter's best interests in mind, such as trying to evade child support or something (not sure how you'd get proof of that, but it's just an example). You don't have to use them in court if it's not needed, but it always helps to be prepared. -hugs if wanted-

w4rp3dh4l0 wrote:So, my daughter's father found out that I had DID and got the courts to file a motion to take her away from me. I'm currently going through court to get her back. I have never done anything to abuse/neglect my child, there has never been concern for it, and I have no record with Children Services or anything like that. His case against me is that I loose time, I switch, and I have gotten suicidal. That's it.

I can't afford a lawyer as I do not have an income.

Anyone got any good ideas, tips, advice, things I need to bring up during court that might help?

The problem: courts are stupid and believe whatever so called expert is brought in. The defense will try and bring in a false memory expert - who is an expert on just that - false memory, but to my experience they are downright stupid when it comes to DID - and any dissociative disorder, they are lost in the 80's and 90' - see Loftus and false memory society for the types you might face. An up to date psychologist who's focus is dissociative disorders should be able to make this person look like a fool on the stand. Treatment of DID does not depend on memory - period! They are experts on memory. The DID therapist is an expert on what you have - DID.

You need to show that someone with DID can be the best parent ever! You probably have parts that do nothing but tend to children, but of course do not focus on a part doing it - it is YOU that does this and you make sure that part is out whenever your children are around!

How long have you been in treatment?
After 5 years of treatment you are probably better able to handle things better than most humans - including your husband.

Have you done anything wrong in the eyes of the court? Do you drink, use drugs, have an eating disorder (all typical in DID), but certainly not mandatory. If drugs or drinking are your problem, get into rehab and stop!

A daughter NEEDS her mother!

Remember that the legal system has little to do with reality - it's whoever puts on the best show wins. Don't let them win.

Parenting is not an exact science and your husband has faults too - and again, a daughter NEEDS her mother!

Having DID does not mean that you act like your parents did and it certainly does not mean you are an unfit mother. In fact we often have alters that excel at parenting with the exception of still being dissociated. This can be a problem, but you can work hard to overcome this when it comes to your children.

I have 5 kids and 4 grandkids. I know how hard it is and I often say I have the perfect husband - a drug free, bodybuilder who teaches our children to take care of themselves and who has the discipline they need to follow and learn - but at the same time, my kids need the parts of me that I let them see as well. Of course don't actively show your DID to your kids - this is important. Your kids are not your friends, they are not your therapist and they don't need to see your DID if you can help it. If you can't work harder in therapy. DID is not a show. What I bring to my kids is what every mother should - love, compassion and caring. Every child needs 2 parents - the male and female side, but the courts usually deem those things that the female gives the child as more important. Show them to the court! You have them! You are a woman!

Bottom line - court is not therapy! Go there with your gun loaded! Do not play into their games. Have your experts. Do not say things like "we", etc... You are YOU! You are a good parent and YOU deserve your kids!

As others have said, there is legal aid, but educate them about what DID really is.

Erm, hello.

I feel qualified enough to give legal advice here, at least to some degree. My parents are both lawyers, and I know enough legal jargon to hold a conversation with anyone in the law field.

There are lawyers who WILL take your case for little to nothing. You just need to look carefully, and you will find them. Try looking online, scout out lawyers in your area who offer free legal advice. They may reccomend you to someone after hearing your case.

Do you have a T you've been working with? S/he can (often) send detailed reports to the court in your favor. Law has a HUGE respect for T's opinions, and they can sometimes turn a case around. I have personal experience with this, when my own child custody hearing took place and my T's notes made sure my father had -no- custody over me. (This was an entirely different situation, though. He was abusive.)

Also, how old is your daughter? I only ask because -sadly- the court does not really consider her opinion until she is 13-14 years old. If she's around that age she can ask to be with you and the court may very well make it so.

Your husband, btw, does not have an awesome case against you unless he can prove that your DID impair you from being a mother. Remember that.