Is this time loss?

Owleyes wrote:I was on this site last night, started feeling thirsty so reached for my glass of water and it was empty. Got up to go into the kitchen and get more. The next thing I knew, I was back on the sofa, reaching for the glass and it was full. As hard as I tried, I could not remember actually going and getting the water, still can't remember it. Is this time loss? It was very odd.

It sounds like time loss to me. As other people have said, time loss can be any length from seconds to days, and it's not always caused by a trigger or an uncomfortable environment. You could've been reading something that made someone else come out, or maybe someone else wanted to get the water for whatever reason, who knows. I don't have time loss with my little, Cassie, but I know that she jumps out randomly because she wants to for whatever reason. One time she shoved me out of the way because she wanted to "be a big girl" and pour the milk for the cereal herself. It's a small thing to me, but a big deal to her, and for that minute or so when she was pouring I was in the "backseat" for control.

Owleyes wrote:So how do you tell the difference between time loss and just zoning out and doing things on autopilot? Because I do that a lot, but this was the first time I'd noticed an actual 'blank', if that makes sense.

For me, zoning out and auto pilot will still leave me with vague memories, and that's how I tell the difference from time loss. Example: ambulances are a trigger for me, and when I see one while driving, I go into complete auto pilot to prevent any possible switching or freezing that might cause an accident. I go into complete "just get to wherever I'm going" mode. I won't remember details of the drive, I won't have much memory of any thought processes I had to get wherever I was going (like if I had to turn somewhere I don't normally turn at), but I will remember fuzzily that I was in my car driving.
Auto pilot versus time loss is kinda like being drunk versus being unconscious, at least for me it is (horrible example, but it's all I could think of. And obviously I don't mean black-out drunk). Being drunk will still leave you with spots of memory, or a fuzzy memory, to where to might not remember all of it or any details about what happened, but you remember that it did happen. Being unconscious will leave you with nothing but a blank spot, a black space where the memory should be. Does that make sense? If I was on auto pilot or zoning out while getting water, I'd either have a spotty memory to where I only remember something like turning on the faucet, or I'd have a vague/fuzzy memory to where I remember going to get the water, but I might not remember details such as turning on the water or something. Time loss however would leave me with no memory of getting the water at all.

Your glass of water episode was like when I first started to experience time loss, but it could also be zoning out.
I don't usually lose days, but I'm never able to tell you everything I did yesterday. It's like, it takes some hours for me to lose it, the memory of one especific event, commonly something stressful. I may get it back if someone helps me. Otherwise, my days are just filled with gaps of blank memories.

Owleyes wrote:So how do you explain this kind of thing to yourself? Is it caused by switching, or just zoning out in your case, do you think? I'm just interested in other people's experience because thinking about all this is kind of new to me.

I rarely have fully black-out time loss, but when I do, it's either caused by switching or by a trigger, because I don't always switch when I'm triggered.

Right now, I only have time loss when "Hannibal", Rebel, Kyra, or Lynn comes out, and I think there's reasons for that. "Hannibal" doesn't see himself as a part of me; Rebel's memory often stops at the summer of 2009 and she's still getting used to the idea of being DID; Kyra knows nothing of reality, she's constructed her own reality inside, and doesn't realize she's an alter; and Lynn's only 2 so she doesn't really understand the whole DID thing. I think I've had minor time loss when Marie has come out, but that was because I'd already been triggered badly and "ran off".

When I'm triggered and a switch doesn't happen, that's because the trigger was so bad that no one is "home" anymore. Everyone ends up in a place we call The Darkness, and I end up being an empty shell where I only breathe, swallow reflexively, and maybe blink. Though I'm still aware of time passing, I equate it to time loss because I have no idea how long I'm in The Darkness, I don't have control, and I'm not aware of anything that's going on. It's like I'm in a completely dark maze where all I can do is feel my way around and hopefully find the way out, or at least find the others so we're not alone (we get dropped into The Darkness separated, so we each have to find our way out or hope that it ends and we all end up "back" at the same time). Sometimes I'll be able to hear, like if someone's calling my name trying to "wake" me up, but that's only if I'm close to "coming back". Sometimes The Darkness happens and someone gets left out alone, like Cassie or Ray or Lynn; usually it's a little because a trigger will make me feel like a little again, what with needing comfort and not knowing what to do and stuff like that.

I think I've had one or two times where I've had just straight time loss, no Darkness, I just simply skipped over time and couldn't remember anything. This happened with Rebel, and I think The Darkness didn't happened because no bad trigger happened, but she did get triggered out, if that makes sense.

Ok, I'll stop rambling now. I hope this helps.

Thanks for your replies. What's interesting to me about this particular incident is that there was definitely a trigger. I was reading an old thread, and it was one of those real OMG moments! I've been thinking about starting a thread about it, does anyone know how to post a link to an old thread? Anyway, it seems like a possibility that someone got so excited by it that they decided to come out for a few seconds and take a trip to the kitchen

Owleyes wrote:Thanks for your replies. What's interesting to me about this particular incident is that there was definitely a trigger. I was reading an old thread, and it was one of those real OMG moments! I've been thinking about starting a thread about it, does anyone know how to post a link to an old thread? Anyway, it seems like a possibility that someone got so excited by it that they decided to come out for a few seconds and take a trip to the kitchen

That definitely sounds like what happened, then, if there was a trigger. Someone must've gotten so excited that they popped out for a bit. Maybe you could ask your others to see if that was what happened? Maybe someone wants to do something about whatever it is they're getting excited about, like writing about it or something. Never know.

Owleyes wrote:So how do you explain this kind of thing to yourself? Is it caused by switching, or just zoning out in your case, do you think? I'm just interested in other people's experience because thinking about all this is kind of new to me.

Sorry for slowpoke answer
My main criteria of switching is a slight feel of surprise. Something changed and I'm surprised with the fact. I'm in lab room wearing trainers not slippers. That is odd. I change footwear everyday why I didn't change it today, if it is a reflex already? My cup disappeared and I'm surprised, I remember me putting it on this very spot. The main criteria for me is suddenness of environmental change and surprise about it. Then I try to remember how it changed. Sometimes I have a foggy memory of me taking my cup to wash it. So it was not a switch. But sometimes after a 5 minutes meditation and observing ceiling I got a foggy memory that I've met an ex-girlfriend of my SO and she triggered me. Any attempts in remembering what was between meeting her and finding trainers on my feet are unsuccessful. So it was a time loss.

I think, btw that all the brownie and poltergeist evidences are the effects of dissociation.

Schrodinger's cat wrote:Sorry for slowpoke answer

No probs! Thank you for replying. I think the suddenness of it was what made it seem different from my usual zoning out, and, like you say, I couldn't even conjure up a hazy memory of going into the kitchen. It's interesting thinking about it now, because even a couple of weeks later, it still feels like an unusual event to me, rather than my normal absent-mindedness. No other episodes recently that I'm aware of