My new friends*Possible Tigger*

So i say possible trigger cause well Im a man i am stupid, lol or so they all say. Anyways My name is Michael I am 34 my soon to be wife is DiD DX'd with 4 known alters, I had a feeling before she told me of the 4 that there was indeed for so one day i asked how many she was dx'd with she said 4, and I stated to her i have met them all and can tell her who they all are.

So I did and upon doing that it opened a gateway of sorts a flood of Switching never really co hosting it was either all wendy, or all her child alt hannah. Well now its come to a state where she feels that her gift is going to push me away wich is in no case true. Im here looking to meet people like her. of the 4 1 tried to destroy our relationship by any means possible causing non remembered switching blackout angry rage, wich did almost end our relationship it took a week for her to relies she wasnt her and to fight back. So im just kinda looking for help on how I continue my Relationship with my her and How do i build a secondary relationship with her Alt who is (12) wich at times makes for awkward moments but there the cutest moments of my day. My FB is **post edit** and my email is **post edit** if anyone here would like to talk with me more. thank you.

**post edit**

Wendyscowboy wrote:Well now its come to a state where she feels that her gift is going to push me away wich is in no case true.

Well it sounds like you are a loyal, patient partner, and that is wonderful. It's nice to meet you. Tell your significant other (SO) why you love her, why she is special to you. Don't just tell her you'll stay by her side, tell her why.

As for the alter trying to destroy your relationship, they have a reason for their actions. I'd say your best bet is to figure out that reason. Let this alter know you don't want to get rid of him/her, or push any alter away, you want what is best for your SO. Also, is your SO in therapy? A therapist may be able to get to the roots of this alter's behavior, as well as the reason for her recent change in behavior.

Best of luck!

Not to make assumptions, but as many people who have DID developed this in response to *trigger* (abuse, many times sexual) **end trigger** it might make sense that her 12 yr old who is resisting or rebelling against the relationship - is really just trying to protect themselves from another (man). When someone is a victim of abuse, trusting anyone who may resemble (even if it is just by sex) their perpetrator - can be very hard to overcome.

My suggestion would be to remind both your fiance - and her young alter, that they are with you now; that they are safe; that you care for them. It is not the same house, same person, same situation as when this alter was born/created... and it will take time. Trust is not a word...it is collected data....it is consistent behavior.

For example, my son has (9 now) alters; and I have to remind the little ones - they are NOT with their father. they are with me. I let them know that they are in a bigger body now - that (the host) is NOT powerless - he is big and strong and won't let anyone hurt them... As they get more and more experience seeing that this is True - they have become less scared and sad....

Take care and thank you for being supportive. Never forget this is not a 'game' - your SO and her alters need validation and compassion. With the angry one...try very hard to remember that it is not YOU personally they are so angry at. They are hurt. Hurt hurt hurt and they need love and understanding to be able to cope and deal with what has made them so angry. Sometimes all you can do is say "I can see how angry you are, is there anything I can do to help" and just listen.... Keep coming here...this is a great place to get support for all of you.

For my system the most important healing message has been that we are no longer a vulnerable child in a dangerous environment and we are no longer unaware. We are aware, a secure adult, in a safe environment.

It is hard for an alter who does not come out often, and then usually only to "take" abuse of some kind, to believe that a significant other loves her and is safe. It takes time.