A poem I wrote to psychologist who claim they feel my pain.

Who Am I

Who am I? You told me my parents pasted down neurotic symptoms, this is why I have neurotic disorders. You told me through my parents abusing and neglecting me as a child, I have some form of personality disorder. You told me do to my misplace emotions, I don’t know how to emotionally deal with events that transpire. You told me tragic events cause my mind to break up and scarred and nothing but defense mechanisms is left to protect my self from further mental harm.
You label me, you study me, you told me the way I act, now tell me who am I? Who was I before my parents past down their symptoms to me? Who was I before my parents sexually abused me and cause me to shut down with no hope? Who was I before my emotions gotten mixed up? Who was I before the tragic events? Who was I before I used drugs to mend my pain? Who was I before I used violence and anger to express my rage and thoughts? Can you tell me who I am? Please don’t tell me human, because being a human made me a product. If you want to find an answer to my pain, just tell me who I am then you have found a cure for whom I became.

Sadly there is no answer to your question. It's messed up the our lives and who we are can be forever altered because of what someone else did to us. The only answer is that it no longer matters who you would have been. You are who they made you and now it is your job to put the pieces together and become the best you can be in spite of them.

as i said in reply to your other post, the answer is within.

please dont worry. its in there.

its just gonna take a lot of work to find it.

hey, i hav no idea who i am either.

but i have hope, and i jus wanna share some of it with you.

hope it works...!!!



ps im sorry for your pain...i understand it so well and i know how much it hurts....i think your poem was very striking and shows so exactly and so beautifully how so many of us feel....hoping you feel better soon...

Yes I’m a product of my environment but I won’t accept that this is who I am and I have no choice but to live with it. I don’t think that the attention that God has for me. This is why I started studying spiritual warfare because man has no answer or cure for me only drugs. A so call psychologist/teacher told me that many has no hope for rehabilitation or help because to be rehabilitated is to restore to health or normal life or former condition. If a person that has been sexually abused by their parents/family all their lives, there never experience normal or a health lives so they have nothing to go back to. That hurt me really bad when I heard those words. Basically he said that if you take an innocent child/person and abused them sexually, mentally, and so forth and when they become older and be lost in their minds, there is no hope for them. I refuse to accepted that basic on my spirituality. I’m trying to reject everything I know, every image, every lie, Yes my family is all messed up, I’m trying to forgive them for everything they did and separate my self from them. I have a new family that loves me and would never hurt me. I been born again in God’s spiritual family. Now I striving to have the mind set as Christ in which he said we should have. His name alone gives me hope and I see myself over coming and being happy. Who am I? A child of God (I found my answer).

DID isn’t bad or evil it is how some of our mind defends itself from pain cause we don’t know how to deal with it. I’m trying my best to take authority over my life. One thing that is helping me is support.