DID without memory loss?

The Great Big Mouth wrote:Another question, if I may...do you know who you really are or do you get lost in your alters. I can't find myself. I mean, I'm typing this, but I dont know that the I that is typing this is the I that truly is. Forgive me if Ive lost anyone. Its hard to describe.

Hard to describe but I get exactly what it is you're saying. And the answer is yes. I get lost in my alters. When I have switched, sometimes characteristics of them linger about afterwards and I don't know if I'm them, me, or both. Sometimes in therapy I will stop speaking and think: "hmm, who is this right now?" More often than not it is me with some passive influence from inside that my therapist has picked up on.

Interesting. Thank you for the info. Its reallly helped to clear my head. In fact, since posting on this website my alters have been eerily quiet. Not sure why, but I think I've shocked them into remission. It feels great, but I know it's temporary. I guess that I'll just have to figure myself out as this progresses. I especially like the thought that each of these alters has beneficial qualities than can be explored. If I can get myself to work together, perhaps I can see this as a positive thing.

bourbon wrote:

The Great Big Mouth wrote:Another question, if I may...do you know who you really are or do you get lost in your alters. I can't find myself. I mean, I'm typing this, but I dont know that the I that is typing this is the I that truly is. Forgive me if Ive lost anyone. Its hard to describe.

Hard to describe but I get exactly what it is you're saying. And the answer is yes. I get lost in my alters. When I have switched, sometimes characteristics of them linger about afterwards and I don't know if I'm them, me, or both. Sometimes in therapy I will stop speaking and think: "hmm, who is this right now?" More often than not it is me with some passive influence from inside that my therapist has picked up on.

What both of you described, definitely. It's frequent when typing as journaling but not when typing here because we're not so much in our head while on here. This happens to Jonathan too. He's asked aloud many times, "wait, who am I?" and sometimes "am I me?" (as in Jonathan.) We both think that is absurd but kind of entertaining most of the time.