Daily how are you?

Oh, Bourbon, losing a pet hurts so much! I'm sorry..

Sorry for your loss Bourbon

*possible trigger warning, traumatic dreams about death etc* also boredom warning
As for me, I could be better. I'm being haunted by irrelevant bizarre thoughts and feeling like I see things out of the corner of my eye, and generally jumpy. It's all got to do with unpleasant dreams I've had all week, featuring me being dead (multiple dead bodies) and burying myself in different graves, also having to deal with dead relatives and so on.

Last night I thought I woke up but it was in a dream where I was a completely different person, and found out that my real life isn't real. The dream people told me I had been in a coma and hence I had complete amnesia of my "real" life. I was a young girl who lived among homeless people, all I owned was a long white cape, a funny hat and some clothes I was wearing. My best friend was a psychotic man who was in constant trouble with the police. I went through very painful physical withdrawal symptoms in the dream. Of course I have no experience of such in real life, and since in the dream I had no idea of my past as an addict it was scary even though the others told me what it is . Then the police arrested me for some reason. The police in my dreams are always scary and evil.
Like always, the feelings in this dream were more realistic and intense than my real life emotions.
I woke up exhausted with headache and backache. If it's this type of dreams that I usually dream when I don't remember them, no wonder I often feel #######5 when I wake up in the morning.

Thanks peeps

under ice wrote: I'm being haunted by irrelevant bizarre thoughts and feeling like I see things out of the corner of my eye, and generally jumpy.

I'm struggling at the moment with hearing voices (externally) that aren't there that feel very qualitatively different to hearing my alters inside. It's freaky things like that. Sorry to hear you're being haunted by it all.

Your dreams sound really confusing and distressing. Thinking you had woken up but you were in a dream and having to face a sharp "reality check" that wasn't actually reality at all.... no wonder you're tired! Can you find any meaning in the dream of what it might mean for you as your life is currently?

B

I'm so sorry Bourbon. Poor Kerry! ((Hugs if wanted for everyone))

I'm being haunted by irrelevant bizarre thoughts and feeling like I see things out of the corner of my eye, and generally jumpy.

Ugh. That happens to me too. Are you stressed? It sounds like you are doing alot of processing in your sleep(or something). I wish you some much needed rest and a fun dream tonight though.

Potential trigger: nightmare

Ugh. Just woke from a dream where my current therapist tried to kill me through guidance from his wife & supervisor that DID doesn't exist. He said it was "experimentation". blah. Brain is off balance right now.

B

Bourbon, I'm really sorry about your pet, and about the bad dream. I hope you can get some rest. Hugs to Kerry if she would like.

I've had a sh*tty week, culminating in visits from BOTH my parents today. One of them is usually more than I can handle. Really feel like posting an angry rant about both of them but am going to refrain because I feel like it'll only get me angrier and what's the point. Grrr

Bourbon, that's an awful nightmare.((Hugs if wanted))

I've had a sh*tty week, culminating in visits from BOTH my parents today.

Ouch that's rough, what kind of things do you find helpful to discharge in times like this? Or do you have anything fun to get your energy out?

Owleyes wrote:I've had a sh*tty week, culminating in visits from BOTH my parents today. One of them is usually more than I can handle. Really feel like posting an angry rant about both of them but am going to refrain because I feel like it'll only get me angrier and what's the point. Grrr

My parents are also the cause of a great deal of stress in my life. It sounds like a really overwhelming day, and no surprise that you are left with yucky feelings.

I hope you feel better soon. Perhaps indulge in an activity that you enjoy?

Also, sometimes ranting gets all those angry/upset/depressed thoughts out of your head for a while since they are expressed in words. That's how it is for me, anyways. If you did choose to share I know I and many others on this site would be more than happy to listen.

Best wishes.

Thank you both. I'm calmer today, they just get me so wound up with their delusions that our family was fine and they were wonderful parents. And taking credit for 'How well I've turned out'. I want to yell at them that it's mostly despite their input, not because of it. Someone had to be a together adult and not a f*ck-up. OK, that was a slight rant I suppose, but nowhere near what I was wanting to post yesterday

^^ Owleyes and doe-eyed, sorry to hear that your relationships with parents are a source of stress.

bourbon wrote:
I'm struggling at the moment with hearing voices (externally) that aren't there that feel very qualitatively different to hearing my alters inside. It's freaky things like that. Sorry to hear you're being haunted by it all.

Your dreams sound really confusing and distressing. Thinking you had woken up but you were in a dream and having to face a sharp "reality check" that wasn't actually reality at all.... no wonder you're tired! Can you find any meaning in the dream of what it might mean for you as your life is currently?

B

Borg wrote:I'm so sorry Bourbon. Poor Kerry! ((Hugs if wanted for everyone))

I'm being haunted by irrelevant bizarre thoughts and feeling like I see things out of the corner of my eye, and generally jumpy.

Ugh. That happens to me too. Are you stressed? It sounds like you are doing alot of processing in your sleep(or something). I wish you some much needed rest and a fun dream tonight though.

Thanks guys, I guess I've been stressed due to a sudden delay in a new work project, there was a real risk it won't start after all. Now that it finally did begin, my mind is dragging behind when dealing with stress. The last twelve - eighteen months have required a lot from me work-wise since the circumstances and the people have been anything but easy, and I'm glad I've left that behind.

I've been in the new project for a week, and this is the first weekend for a very long time I haven't felt completely exhausted. So it could be that my mind is trying to reboot itself now that things are looking better, but also the uncertainty regarding the start must be one source of strange dreams.
As for this particular dream, withdrawal symptoms and amnesia could be symbolic of the way I always change to a new workplace or a project when I feel I have nothing to give to the old one anymore, or rather, when I feel I can't stay no matter what. Maybe the skill to break away by ending something hastily and starting a new chapter is something I need to survive, but maybe my subconscious is telling me I'm like an addict who needs a fix to get well .

I drew a picture of the girl I was in my dream, and her expression is desperate.
I've always identified myself with individuals who have nothing because having something has never made me feel safe, but when I woke up from the dream I saw how immature it is to think so, because unlike me they don't have the option to have anything. I can't say that a dream taught me what it feels like in real life, but it sort of made me aware of it.