DID/DDNOS?? New here member...*TRIGGER for Religion/SA*

Hello,

I have been reading this forum for a while and also researching other site regarding DID/DD NOS...

I can relate to some things that others have or are experiencing that have been Dx'ed on this forum. About 1 year ago, I entered counseling for depression and relationship problems at my church. I counseled with a lady who is a survivor of SA and is trained professionally. At the time, I felt the need to only talk about my relationship that was severely failing. After about 4 months, I quit because I just wasn't feeling it. A couple months later, I had like this breakdown where I did something totally not like me. I returned to counseling a couple months later to discuss that particular issue. I have always had a problem opening up to people. I don't talk much at all and especially about me. Anyway, I was asked why I was always so withdrawn and untrusting. I never really thought of it that way. ....

So , after a bunch of thinking I thought about my childhood SA and the relationship I'm currently in, where I have been abused on ALL levels. I had never talked about this in previous meetings. So, I finally got up enough courage to mention a couple of things that happened between 5-7 years old (not totally sure as my child hood memories are few) and also in my relationship. It was suggested that I joined a group T addition to individual sessions.

Group T has been very difficult. I hate talking social phobia/anxiety is an issue, unsure. I live in my head I guess. Then I tried to tell my story one time, and I felt very out of control. I proceed to talk, but ended up saying something that was very protective in a tone that meant leave me the hell alone. Afterwards, I started to researching various disorders and things started to sound familiar. The forgetting, feeling unreal, conflicting voices. I remember being in a individual session and every question that was asked of me, I had 2 answers/2 voices and couldn't figure out which answer I should give. I remember giving some answers in a voice tone that was very child like, which I didn't plan on sounding like that. I'm starting to remember more things in childhood, where I always felt alone, had many imaginary friends with names etc... I plan on starting therapy in a week and I'm not sure what to expect. Should I mention my symptoms?

Thoughts??
SOrry this is long...

Absolutely mention your symptoms.

It sounds like you are doing really well in beginning to open up but also making sure you take it at your own pace which is good.

Honesty is what will determine whether the therapist you see is the right one for you - who will appreciate the complexity of all that you are experiencing.

Welcome to the forum

B

Welcome to the forum. If you went to a physician for chest pains, would you avoid talking about that or would you be really general for the first several meeting, like "I haven't been feeling well lately"? You might do the latter, but that would probably delay progress. Apart from their own observations of you and their experience, therapist proceeds on what you tell them. The more honest and complete you are, the better they should be able to help you. As bourbon says though, you should proceed at a pace that's comfortable for you.

Finding a therapist who has some experience with dissociation and/or SA is advisable. Compatibility is very important and the first person you see is not always a perfect match for you. A therapist who is empathetic and validates your feelings is better than no therapist, but the best fit would be with someone all of you is comfortable with and who is experienced with dissociative clients. I went to a psychiatrist whom I was comfortable with, but most of my alters weren't and he wasn't all that experienced with DID, so that delayed our progress.

Thanks for your input. I will describe everything. Hopefully, I will remember once I'm in front of the therapist.

buter8137 wrote:Hopefully, I will remember once I'm in front of the therapist.

If you're worried you'll forget perhaps write notes for yourself?

Not to evoke those that commented already....The last paragraph, those inside I want to know what was so no go at sharing who closed the gate door so very suddenly to feeling out of control? No to sound like your walking on egg shells because the end is like what it is. When you have time and want to share more that would be great! It's kind of memorable I'd like internal communication of the experience around this time in session. At least more from the group I was in who might have got created at this time. Nothing like coaxing your own self out and actually getting it right lol because I was research then going from am I a fake or is everyone going to fast sharing the dx....

I could have interpreted that section a little better where was the thought to get angry to share no go and I'm get her out of control lost time the discontinuity although it was dsm iv during 2012..