Drug Assisted Interview - Anybody ever done it?

I'm troubled by not remembering some of the things that one of my alters did. She is extremely sexual and created quite the mess about 3 years ago. Not only did she have sex with multiple men, she videotaped it and uploaded it to the internet. This has only very recently been discovered and I was unaware of it until recently. This has been devastating to my partner. Of course, he feels extremely betrayed despite this was the actions of an alter. He has been very forgiving of the behavior, but he is still extremely in need of some of the answers of what exactly did happen. He feels that he really needs at least some details to get closure and put all of this into the past. Unfortunately, I have complete amnesia to all of it. This has really put a wedge in our relationship.



So, I've been googling around to see what might help. I tried hypnosis and had no luck. I am having no luck in remembering with my therapist either. I read about drug assisted interview. Sodium thiopental (pentothal) or sodium amobarbital (amytal) used to be used in an IV. But, now they are using Ativan or Valium in an IV. Anyway, they relax you so much and decrease your inhibitions so much that it helps in recall of supressed/repressed memories and in alters "coming out". I guess this used to be the standard way to diagnose DID or for memory recall.



My question is has anyone ever done this? And who does this? How can I find someone to do this? I know that we may have to live without every knowing how the pornographic videos came to be, but I'd be willing to try this.

Never done it, but I have begged my T to let me try hypnosis or sodium amytal to get at 'the answers' more quickly. He refuses, saying that it is not accurate & have been proven to create false memories.

HBO had a special 20(?) yrs ago on (then) MPD. I looked up & then contacted the Dr. who used S.A. on a women who he was treating and who was part of the HBO documentary. He declined to say much more than he wouldn't use that anymore.

I'm sorry that this happened to you. I can understand your pain & your frustration - & your partner's. I hope that you can both can work through it. That is certainly a very unfortunate occurrance that can be crippling if you let it, I suppose. I am so sorry. I don't really know what to say except that I hope the alter responsible can work through this issue in T so that it never happens again. Do the men know a vid of the activity was uploaded?

I have to say that I disagree that anyone would need details to get closure...would you? I wish you the best on this. This is a tough one for any relationship.

My husband has come to terms with some problematic behavior of my alters while I lost time; I am the one who wants details for closure! I don't know if having details would actually provide closure, though: that remains to be seen.

I would not use drugs to explore memories. That practice is so thoroughly discredited that even if you got something, Crazy Redhead, would your husband accept it?

When I read your post, all I could think of was recently when I told my T that I felt like I was drowning. He said that means too much of my unconscious is coming forth too quickly.

Maybe you have not developed the things you need to develop in order for your unconscious mind to allow these memories forward. This could be why your not able to access the info right now.

Pelirroja Loca wrote:I know that we may have to live without every knowing how the pornographic videos came to be, but I'd be willing to try this.

I think you will probably find out eventually because that alter should know the details. I would work on establishing a non-judgmental connection with her. You might be able to get some basic answers from her by speaking to her directly (aloud, internally) or journaling.

Journaling towards communication -- which for me at least is quite different from diary writing, or recording events and insights -- is a process of being seated comfortably in front of a laptop or a pen and paper, relaxing and letting your mind open, writing down what you would like to know, then listening for the answers inside. For us, this process puts us into a state of self-hypnosis -- which does not feel all that different from normal waking life -- or mild dissociation.

I think the most important condition is being willing to find things out, being willing to listen, being ready to get upset with what you learn, accepting that there are others in your mind who deserve fair treatment and are equally valid parts of the greater you. Obviously, don't interrogate and don't just ask about the videos. In fact, I wouldn't even start with those. The reasons for finding out need to be good, fair ones. Maintaining and repairing a relationship with a supportive, loving person is a good one. My gatekeeper has called this whole process "going inside."

Almost every day, I say "Please! Somebody wake me up from this nightmare!". The other day, I told my T "I think I've died and I went to hell. This must be what hell feels like!" Remembering all of this stuff can be so overwhelming. Mentally and physically exhausting.

But, the good news is that these thoughts and feelings are pretty short-lived. I'm learning to just ignore the non-believers and surround myself with supportive people. The negative people just drag you down, suck up all your energy and waste all your time. All they do is mess your head up and slow down your healing time.

I'm hanging in there! And no more pushing the memories. And no drug-assisted interviews for me!

Great, it sounds like you turned a corner of sorts. You said a lot of wise, self-accepting, and self-protective things.

I'm currently in the position of pushing strongly for the memories but that's largely to counteract what I now can distinguish is a strong push in the opposite direction -- against the memories. If I hadn't spent some time with a sister recently who is in an automatic state of deep denial (probably DDNOS), I wouldn't be seeing it as well in myself.

I have definitely needed to go thru periods of respite, where I don't push but allow myself to adjust to what I've learned thus far. Even when things don't appear to be happening on the surface, if I'm spending time with my alters and/or allowing them time in the body, we all continue to move closer to one another, our sharp differences fading over time so that we become more alike, just as friends who spend a great deal of time together grow alike.