Need help from anyone who has reported their abusers.

I'm writing a novel based on Dissociative Identity Disorder and I am considering having it end in a court case. If anyone has any experience in the area of pursuing legal action against a childhood abuser and what it involves, I would be very grateful to hear these experiences (if it isn't triggering for you to share them of course). If you can help me, please comment here or if you would rather keep it confidential you could PM me.

Thanks,
Kaz x

It never went to court, but my parents made me sign off my belongings to the police and I had to be talked to by a few police officers. Sign papers.

Honestly? It was horribly, horrible traumatizing. The officers all assumed that they 'understood my pain' and that I wanted them there. At the time I was terrified of being separated from my abuser, and I felt cornered and like I was being screamed at from all directions. They took all my electronics and my parents were anything but understanding of me. They thought I was 'broken'.

Probably not exactly what you were looking for. But in my experience, getting the police involved was absolutely anything other than pleasant.

senselesssacrifice wrote:It never went to court, but my parents made me sign off my belongings to the police and I had to be talked to by a few police officers. Sign papers.

Honestly? It was horribly, horrible traumatizing. The officers all assumed that they 'understood my pain' and that I wanted them there. At the time I was terrified of being separated from my abuser, and I felt cornered and like I was being screamed at from all directions. They took all my electronics and my parents were anything but understanding of me. They thought I was 'broken'.

Probably not exactly what you were looking for. But in my experience, getting the police involved was absolutely anything other than pleasant.

Thank you for replying. Any response could be helpful to me in my writing, as I'm not sure exactly how I'm going to do it yet. Sorry that your experience was so bad.

Kaz x

Feathers
Statute of limitations is the issue with an adult sueing abuser for childhood abuse.This is different from state to state,country to country.We are not saying it cannot be done but it would have to be a civil case ,a criminal case would be hard too make.We are not saying this is rights but a lot of our laws are still in the 1800's in this area.You need to talk to a lawyer they maybe able to point you to research info on the issue.
Us

I successfully procecuted my father in 1986. He served 14 years. I was the first in that state to utilize what little laws were available in that backward State.

See if this might help. Saw the movie, 'Shattered Trust' years ago. Excellent, but may well trigger.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shari_Karney

Good luck!

Emmalyse, You are so very brave. Good job.


I had my brother sent to jail for nine months. He admitted to it and took a plea bargain. Two counts of endangering the welfare of a minor. Some family sat on his side, and others sat on my side.

How can anyone sit on the side of someone who does this? Well, they rationalize it I suppose. He was married at the time I went to the police over it. His baby was just born. I found out his wife tells people my friend seduced him at a sleepover and was one year younger than him. I suppose she is taking the time he had sex with my 13 year old friend when he was 22 and turning it into that. I don't know what she thinks about him molesting me. She tried running me over while he was in jail. Crazy times.

After he was released from jail, my parents and I were going to my grandmom's house. We saw his truck there and I wanted to not stop. My dad told me to be brave and that I had nothing to hide. I had nothing to be ashamed of. He shouldn't keep me from visiting my grandmom. So I listened to him. I trusted he was correct.

For eight more years I would take this attitude as being correct and force myself to be around him even though we never made eye contact or talked. I decided to not be around him nor have my daughter around him.

This really messed up the family. They were mad at me because they thought I had moved on because I just ignored being around him if he was there. Now I was putting my foot down. My aunt even said to me, "I thought you were over it." I felt like a trouble maker. I fought them and really distanced myself big time from them.

I eventually moved 2000 miles away and cut ties with all of my family except my mom and dad who moved out here a year after I did. My dad still talks to him. His daughter emailed my mom with a nursing school question. I would prefer I could make him disappear, but my dad feels some kind of loyalty to him.

I wonder if my dad ever talked to him about what he did? I am going to ask him.

-- Wed May 23, 2012 9:39 pm --

Oh, at one point I stopped talking to my dad and then I stopped talking to my mom. It was about 3 or 4 months I didnt speak with her and longer I didn't speak with my dad. I really feel this taught them to take me seriously. Things aren't perfect, but they are so much better and they are improving. And I am 36. My molestation was from 7-16. He went to jail when I was 16.

It divided the family when it was revealed, but people still were nice to me. It divided our family in the court room. But they still supported me and him separately and at the same time. But what really divided the family was when I said I will not participate in this family any longer.

They were mad at me for not forgiving and forgetting. They even told me "He did his time."

The heart doesn't listen to jail sentences. It stays jailed forever. When will MY time be up?

Wow, turtlelove - that's outrageous!

turtlelove wrote: I decided to not be around him nor have my daughter around him.

GOOD FOR YOU!!!!

"I thought you were over it?" (!) "He did his time." (!)

You can get to a point where your heart is set free (no longer "jailed"). It is called forgiveness - NOT a gift to your brother but a gift to yourself. Forgiveness is the hearts way of saying, 'I refuse to be bound to my abuser in pain for one more second.' It sets YOU free. To hell with him.

I'm sorry that happened to you & I'm sorry for the aftermath. Your time will be up when you let it be.

At age 5, I reported to a teacher and was punished by my parents and taken out of school. I believed my survival to be at risk of I told again, so found a way to bury "it" in my mind.
When I reported again 40 years later, my siblings told me of similar experiences with our father. My parents told family members and friends I was mistaken/confused, someone else did it, I was in league with the devil.
The statute of limitations had expired for criminal charges had expired so I sued civilly. The judge decided in my favor.
For me, one of the most powerful experiences was seeing my parents cross-examined. The stories they had used with family members and friends did not hold up under cross.

Thanks Sot