pictures/meanings *trigger-scary pictures*

The Little Ones (2 and 6 yrs old) like to draw. I ask them to 'tell me about this' when they give me a drawing to understand everything. There is a recurring theme (monster eyes) The T has said it isn't important to try to recall trauma or memories right now. That my son (they are his Littles) just needs to be stabilized and for the alters to get to know (T) and me/my Husband. To be comfortable around us.

But...the Little ones don't want to do much when they are out...just these pictures and snuggle. I don't want to press for information, but with them being so young, I don't know if what they call a monster is just the same scary thing any child worries about when young. But it is always the same thing. Red eyes and scowling mouth. They say the monsters are in the closet.

Well.I had a decent childhood without abuse...and I was still scared of something under my bed or in my closet. I don't know what to make of this as far as wondering if the abuse is what scares them and they are using monsters as a symbol. But what's odd - is they are always drawn the same. One will draw an apple tree, and the red apples will transform/be drawn into slanted red eyes with a unhappy scowly mouth. Again and again...the eyes and mouth.

I tried to ask one time "Where did you see the monster?" and it didn't go over well. I just felt like a big meanie for asking...

I don't know what to do to help them. I want them to be able to come out and have a pleasant time...to just be the child they are....but they need to express themselves freely and I know that they were created for a reason and may want to share that at some point. How do I balance not pushing with not ignoring either?

Your son T is right, these little ones need to be comfortable with you and your husband, and T before you can start to ask these sort of scary questions. Drawing these pictures over and over will help to ease anxiety over time. My husband would help by doing something to show them they are safe, in a fun way. He would build a fort out of blankets and string, pile in comfy blankets and stuffed animals, provide snacks and activities inside (coloring books, cartoons ect.) And while my littles would play inside he would tell them that this fort is safe and I made it especially for you. No one can hurt you here and you can play and have lots of fun. And I will always be here to make sure you are safe. Now everytime they would get scared, wake up crying, and have scary thoughts or dreams he would build up the fort. As a safe place to go, a visual to remind them they are safe, they started to spend less time being scared and more time feeling comfortable. It was only after this fort was made many times that they started to give any sort of details as to the "bad stuff" that happened, all the while being reasured that since they were in the safety of the tent, there was no reason to be afraid to tell about bad things, but it was also good to validate their feelings when they did have. Yes it is scary what happend before even though it was a long time ago! Yes it hurt! And its okay to cry and feel hurt! But as long as we are safe in the tent it will never happen again! Because the tent is safe, and I will keep it that way!

Our therapist just ignored scary elements of our drawings initially and talked to us about them if they were normal, saying things like "you are a good drawer", "tell me about what colours you've used here" etc, almost as if it was a normal drawing... Maybe you could try something like that? You don't need to get into it deeper than that but I think it's important that you are supportive of the fact that the littles want to draw these images. Just asking about the elements of the drawing without going into the meaning is a good way to show that you support them, without pushing for more details...

Thank you! We've decided we're going to put them up on the wall - to display. They really like that! Today, the 2 yr old told me I reminded him a little of his mom. (Since I technically am his mom...that felt good)